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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr112014

Like Looking In A Mirror

IN A WORLD...

WHERE BEAUTIFUL PEGASUS UNICORN CAKES...

(By Heather Sherman of Art2Eat Cakes)

RULE THE WORLD...

OF PINTEREST.

 

ONE BAKER...

WILL DEFY THEM ALL.

Customer: "Please tell me you're joking."

 

THIS SUMMER...

GET READY...

FOR...

CURLY RIBBON FEATHER SHARD HORROR HOOVES...

 

 

OF DOOOOOM.

 

Rated W for WTF, coming to bakeries near you.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (136)

Eyes are bleeding. Can't see to type.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Definitely seeing the Grinch in the face.

And I'll just remain quiet about the wings.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Is it just me, or does that "face" look like the Grinch with flaming comet eyeballs?

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterzeldabird

AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! Never. Sleeping. Again.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Wonder what the customer paid for that......maybe asked for a smaller (cheaper) version.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Soooo ... is it just me, or do those hooves look sort of genital...ish? I mean, absolutely do not get me wrong, the whole cake is an absolute nightmare (ha! didn't mean to do that) but the flange on the legs (only using "legs" because "stumps" seems inappropriate if more apt)give the "hooves" a sort of ... x-rated appearance.

Please tell me it's not just me. I don't want to be alone in this terrible place.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCass

Wow. That's freaking awful. I hope that if someone actually took that monstrosity home with them, he/she didn't pay more than 50 cents for it. That cake is a nightmare. Get it? Night mare. Heh. Sigh.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKW

I wish I hadn't scrolled down past the first picture. I will never get that image out of my head.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTori

Please, put that creature out of its misery.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRomina G.

Gahhh! That'll be in my nightmares tonight!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

The only retribution for this monstrosity (and to eradicate the EVIL coming from that face) is the roadkill unicorn cake

http://shellvpower.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/lindsay-lw-unicorn2.jpg

It's the ONLY way people!!!!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

OMG what's with the rainbow d**ks on the bottom???

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLarinka

See now, I was wondering about the odd placement of the legs. And because I am a geek, I Googled it. And found this: ORIGINAL PEGASUS UNICORN HAS A BABY! Squee! http://bit.ly/1iBq7DB.
No need to thank me.

Tragically, the 'maker' of Curly Ribbon Feather Shard Horror Hooves of Doom clearly didn't take the same trouble and went for inappropriate hoof placement instead. Although looking at it, I'd say that's the least of its problems.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Also - KILL IT WITH FIRE!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

EEEEk! That thing has the face of a rhino! Or perhaps the SaraV and zeldabird are right -- there's a certain Grinchiness to the eyes. I know! It looks like the scary Denver Broncos statue at DIA that people mentioned a couple of months ago! It's got that "Satan's Steed" look to it!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

EEEEk! That thing has the face of a rhino! Or perhaps the SaraV and zeldabird are right -- there's a certain Grinchiness to the eyes. I know! It looks like the scary Denver Broncos statue at DIA that people mentioned a couple of months ago! It's got that "Satan's Steed" look to it!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The face does look Grinch-ish, but the eyes really look like ET to my co-worker and I.
Also -- yech. And *shudder*.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

The second version looks like Rainbow Dash after Pinkie Pie got finished with her.

(In case you've been living under a rock, google "Cupcakes" and "pony."

Just don't say I didn't warn you. )

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Nope. Missed.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

You know in The Fly when the baboon goes through the machine and it all goes terribly wrong, turning the animal inside out?

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Oh, it always makes me the saddest when you can tell they worked so hard to have it still look that bad. :(

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMinda

Oh God, cannot stop laughing...you guys rock!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPancakes!

Sung to "Radioactive"
I see this cake
So disturbing
And think dear God
What is that thing
Just what the heck
Were they thinking? Whoa-oh!
THIS WRECK SHOULDN'T BE KNOWN
CAN'T STOP STARING AT FEATHER/BONES
WELCOME TO THE BAD CAKES
TO THE BAD CAKES
WHOOOAH WHOOOAH
NOT THAT ATTRACTIVE
NOT THAT ATTRACTIVE

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Nice touch using the "Man From Snowy River" eye-close-up shots. I could hear the music in my head... "da-duh, da-duh, da-duh!"
That is one unfortunate animal.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShelly

AAAAUUUUGGH D:

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

To me, the head is well done, but, would make a much better dragon than unicorn. It is nicely sculpted and detailed, and even the eyes would be perfect for a dragon, without the ribbons. However, the rest of it is way, way wrong.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterctmichelle

OK, I just got off the phone with a crisis counselor so I think I can do this.
Q1: is there supposed to be a baby unicorn in the first (good) cake?

If yes then does that explain, justify, or somehow extend ANY reason as to the appearance of ripped-up mutilated rainbow tubes of guts coming out from the monstronsity?

What would Freud say?

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Phallic feets is furiously funny

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

NAILED IT!! HAHAHAHA!!!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColony

Nearly as frightening a unicorn as the ones in Charlie Stross's novella "Equoid"...

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBill

those white things with the rainbow bottoms are supposed to be legs with hooves? huh. Never would have guessed. But to be fair, even in the pretty one, I think the young unicorn Pegasus has a few too many legs. Should there be 4 visible small legs? Wish we had a better shot of the offspring. Can't quite work out the posture.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbob

The Unicorn (with apologies to the Irish Rovers)

A long time ago, or so it seems,
I wanted a cake that was made from dreams
Something happy, and not forlorn
I wanted a cake of a Unicorn

No curly ribbons, no frosting crap
I want the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all, the unicorn

The baker looked at my request but I sensed some pain
He said “I know just what you want, no need to explain.”
I said, “I don’t want to tell you what to do,”
He was a pro I knew
But please

No curly ribbons, no frosting crap
I want the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
Make it a lovely unicorn

The baker was there to give it his all
He finished the Unicorn and gave me a call
He showed me the cake and I started to spew
I yelled at him as I turned blue
I said

“You used curly ribbons, the wings are crap
I wanted the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
You’ve made the most horrible unicorn”

The baker said to me, not feeling my pain,
“From that kind of shouting you’ll have to refrain.
Did you think we could really make that cake?
I’m lucky if anyone here can bake.”

He used curly ribbons, the wings are crap
I wanted the wings around to gently wrap
No demon eyed monster, but sure as you're born
He made the most horrible unicorn

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I am so sad now.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

The eyeball is horrifying but the feet --the FEET. A unicorn does not walk on circumcised rainbow penii.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxz

At least we have the first one's pretty wings, though the other rainbow squggles are hard to look at. But the other, oh dear, what shall we do. We can't even say, "At least he has a pretty face.". Though the face gets credit for being competently made. I looked at it the longest time before realizing those were hooves. I thought they were some kind of candy,

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarkinSF

Why is the Grinch on rainbow fire? Is it because he left the curling iron on too long?

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Please tell me they didn't pay for that!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Sweet mother of god........

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJ Law

It looks like Falcore from The Never ending Story

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessika

Okay, I've seen a lot of wrecks on here, but this one takes the.....wait for it....cake!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenH

SAAAWEEEET MOSES SMELLED THE ROSES!! What fresh hell is this!?

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrach

Where is the unicorn's horn? Even if the rest of the cake looked perfect, that one omission would ruin it.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjenany

It's not so much the eyes as it is the smile. It's coming for me in the night isn't it?

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

That "cake" is only good for one thing....Skeet Shooting....PULL!!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterReets

Í forgot it wasn't Sunday so my panic was sudden!!

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlairy x

The hooves have little paw prints on the bottom.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAletha

Just FYI on the original - here's a better view of the baby so you can see the leg placement is correct.
Whatever THIS thing is...I don't know. I'll need a lot of therapy to get over these images though.

http://bit.ly/1iBq7DB

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThoracias

As a cake decorator, I would take a gander this client had a low budget and when called a skilled decorator, scoffed at the asking price, and in turn ordered from someone who was more in their price range. You get what you pay for people. I wish more decorators would be honest when taking orders. If you can't do it, you can't do it. No shame in admitting that. That's just awful.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWicked Stacey

Is that even made out of cake? It looks like a bad science fair project or a martha stewart craft gone wrong.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSM

Ok, that was an ambitious cake to copy, to begin with. Know your limits, people! The baker should have either flat-out refused to try or should have made it abundantly clear that the results were likely to not resemble the original much. That being said, how could the baker stand back and look at that thing and think, "That'll do." Because: No. Just, no.

April 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharonCville

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