School Daze
August 12, 2013 Hey kids! Now that August has rolled around, school is starting soon!
I guess we all know how you feel about that.
;)
;)
;)
If it's any consolation, your parents feel the same way when they pay for your school supplies.
("How can you possibly need 37 1-inch plain white view binders?!?")
Supplies in hand, you'll be learning important life skills like:
How to follow directions:
;)
... handwriting:
;)
... and the importance of finishing your work:
;)
(Also, irony.)
What will your favorite subject be?
Math?
;)
Social Studies?
;)
(That extra one on the bottom really pulls the whole thing together, doesn't it?)
Spelling and Grammar?
;)
Or maybe you're one of those kids who likes P.E.:
;)
(I was not, so that "bat" sums up my feelings perfectly.)
Whichever it is, remember to go easy on your new teachers; chances are they're still in vacation mode, too.
;)
Scholarly thanks to Amanda M., Colleen M., T.S., Molly McG., Steve V., Patrick T., Annette H., Heather Y., Oomps62, Michelle M., & Julie, who followed our submission guidelines perfectly -- I guess they paid attention in school.
Reader Comments (69)
Vacation-mode Joy
now needs these cakes a la mode
(with red icing bag).
Those who follow such things will be delighted to know that my goal this week is to replace all the fondant babies I've eaten and get them out in the desk candy dish in time for the first day of class. (Now, parse that sentence!)
"Happy Birthday Brain" had me spewing my morning caffeine! LOL Double points for illegible writing AND misspelling a common name!
I love Cake Wrecks and especially the Mistake Cakes... but I confess I've been seeing them a little differently lately. Most of those are supermarket cakes and I'd bet dollars to donuts they're decorated by folks who are just learning English. Not so sure I could do better if I were following instructions in Spanish or Tagalog... which makes laughing at their dumbness a little less comfortable for me. Just my two cents.
Who's Will, and why is his return worth cake?
Does that say, "Bnain"? Who names a kid Bnain???
Please! That last cake is a celebration of the end of a long drought, and the well finally has water in it again!
I dunno, I think that first green guy is kinda cute
…and Grandpa can finally take a bath.
Nearly all of my college students are native English speakers and make these kinds of mistakes routinely (and much worse). Additionally, they can be belligerent about being told about them, or about anything. Heck, I sent one student into a blind rage when I told her she can't stand up in the middle of lecture, lift up her shirt, and apply deodorant. If she had chosen to inscribe a cake with her invectives instead of delivering them orally, I bet you they would have been deliciously misspelled.
When I lived and taught in a Spanish-speaking country, I made many hilarious mistakes. My favorite was during an impromptu parent-teacher conference. I wanted to tell the mother that her 9-year-old son was better (major) but instead I said he was a woman (mujer). Talk about priceless facial expressions!
@LA, while I don't doubt that a number of people who are learning English have difficulty with the bizarre spelling and grammar, I have ample evidence that native-born American can mangle the language with the best of them. And that's before any cakes get involved.
@Sharon, that math cake fills me with admiration and hope. I wonder what a wreakreator could do to my checkbook to make the balance look a little better.
Great posting. I went to a dance performance and one of the numbers was "Brian Waving" and we kept waiting to see him wave, but he didn't...Maybe this cake decorator used to work in their office.
"Happy Birfday, Brain! We didn't take over the world--Narf!--like you wanted, so Farfavanugel and I got you this cake instead! Narf! See, I even wrote on it meself!"
"Will Came Back" and so did I.
I've been on a week long college tour and it's good to be back here surrounded by cakes that make me feel somewhat intelligent. All of those accomplished, young "Sunday Sweets" types were beginning to get on my nerves.
BTW-The tuition at Franklin and Marshall did cause my husband to make a face very much like that on the second cake...
Oh Hauku Joy!
Perhaps I should stop the college search and just send my daughter to the institution at which you teach.
Which cake face will my husband make when he learns of the tuition costs?
I can't figure out which one of these wrecks is my favorite.
@Haikujoy: on my end we get to deal mostly with the parents. Some of whom enjoy "not understanding" English even when they have been told the same exact thing through three different levels of administrators.
Haiku joy I give thanks for all the GOOD teachers. :D As for the cakes, my face matches the expression on the first cake
"Congration
You Done
It"
Really? I done it? Little ol' ME?! I'm being congrationed? This is the best. day. EVAR.
I watched a lot of Bugs Bunny growing up so I thought that was supposed to be a "screwball" cake instead of a "bat" and baseball.
Was going to scold LA for being a troll but see that Haiku Joy & drgns4vr have already taken care of it. Well done, fellow Wreckies! :-)
Now, as to these..."cakes"...every time I think I've seen everything, those Wreckorators prove me wrong. Again.
I am curious about the backstory for Brian/Brain's cake. That is not your typical birthday cake, which leads me to ponder the possibilities: 1. Was it the last cake in the bakery? 2. Was it the 1st cake the last-second purchaser saw? 3. Was it an emergency replacement? 4. Was it the only cake on the "Oops, We Overbaked Rack" & the purchaser is cheap or broke? 5. Purchased as a joke for someone who hates carrot cake? 6. Purchased for someone who loves carrot cake? 7. Wreckorator misspelled Brian's name *and* ignored icing instructions to leave the top level for the icing inscription. (The Wreckorator gets points for neat and orderly writing on a *very* uneven & lumpy surface.) I mean, it's actually possible to read "Happy Birthday Brain" (albeit Brian is misspelled). Kudos for that!
@Haiku Joy:
Oh, dear...I don't feel that I COULD parse that sentence, and have it live to tell! It's been years since I've had to parse anything. I DO, however, feel that your sentence would make a lovely salad! (I'll take a nicely conjugated Roquefort with mine, thanks!) =^~.~^=
These cakes are all miserable-(!)-with the possible exception of the football one. That one gave me a 10-cent thrill because it looks a little like it's hanging from a ceiling (or the person who took the picture was), and I got a little dizzy. =^e.e^=
@KinkiniBee - Ooh! Would that be Marshall U in Huntington, WV? Go Marshall! (My Mom's hometown.) Seriously though, have you considered a community college for the 1st 2 yrs & then a transfer? Save $$ big time. No one's gonna care where those 1st 2 yrs were, trust me! (Well, 'cept your kid... ;-)
Of course, "Brain" could be like the one from Arthur, whose real name is Alan, but everyone who's not his parents calls him "Brain" due to his high intelligence.
...For values of "century" equal to 300 years.
Ah yes, the ol' wooden spike 'n' ball.
"Will came back" indicates that this is clearly someone who is planning on going back in time and meeting the recipient in the past.
Ahhh... back to school. This time of year is so much better than Christmas in my house. Sadly here in my Westerly corner of the world we don't start until after Labor Day.
The 3rd one made me wanna break out in song... Manamanamanamana... (You're welcome!)
The last one is just missing a word. It's actually for all the college professors out there who were hoping they scared their students so badly last year that they wouldn't show up for the first day. "Well, they came back"
@Haiku Joy ~ I so want to be in your class on the first day! It would totally be worth airfare just to sit in as a guest for that one day.
@Sharyn ~ Perfect my friend. Just perfect!
The "Math" cake is completely accurate. It isn't counting time elapsed, it's counting future time.
No, really.
Honest.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Haiku Joy: I spent my first 3 months living in Japan telling people they had creepy children. (I confused kowai ("creepy" ) with kawaii ("adorable"). Oops.
It wasn't until I posted the "Brain" wreck (pun not intended) on my FB page that I noticed that the cake itself is my favorite kind (carrot). I'm speechless.
Jen had a typo!!! I found a Jen typo!!! It's like a hidden Mickey!!! w000t w00t w00t!!!!
("you" instead of "your" above the math cake)
@Haiku Joy -
Dear Professor Joy,
May I respectfully request an alternate assignment? In lieu of parsing the above sentence (what IS parsing, anyway?!), I offer to complete *one* of the following options:
A. Solve a page of algebra problems, showing all work.
B. Solve a page of chemistry problems, showing all work, chemical formulae, & correct units.
C. Give detailed explanations (with diagrams) of DNA replication, mRNA synthesis, and protein synthesis, better known respectively as replication, transcription, & translation. (In full sentences, with correct grammar and proper terminology, of course.)
Sincerely,
Student KarateLady :-)
Or maybe I'll just whip up a batch of fondant babies for you...
Sharyn, it's amazing how thin the line is between creepy and adorable. Exhibit A: reborn dolls.
hahaha seriously laughing right now...best post ever.
And yes, "Well, came back" sums up the entirety of my back to school feelings.
Well - that and the dog-biscuit-vomiting cookie monster cake.
So, so bad. And did that handwriting cake say "Happy Birthday BRAIN"?! Which, I mean, sure, your brain is aging right along with your body, but something tells me Brian is a little confused.
Also, this is the first August in 20 years that I have not gone back to school (please note that I am 24... and let that math sink in a bit). So, to all you students and teachers out there:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! :P
Why....why is an American Flag so hard.
Stars and stripes! Blue square in the top left hand corner and 13 stripes. I can't imagine a decorator trying to make the 15 stripe Star Spangled Banner!
Aww, I hope I didn't come across as scolding. :-) I was just reminded of some of my favorite funny stories. I'm perfectly up for folks to be kind about mistakes; certainly many people have been kind to me about mine!
Flashing me during lecture to apply deodorant and then *swearing* at me about it, however, is a mistake which I will gladly rehash for forever.
@SuBee ~ Took me a second but now I can't stop giggling
@ Sharyn:
That is SO funny!!! I can almost imagine the looks on those parents' faces!!! (Of course, depending on the child, you may have actually been correct a time or--oops)
BE NICE, dammit! =^.\/.^=
My goodness, Karate, YES! I want the replication, transcription, and translation explanations please. I love learning the sciences, especially biology, but find many concepts difficult. I've tried to understand them in the past but I need it explained at about the 10th grade level.
Go!
(Also, Sabs? Your laugh made me laugh and then choke on a coughdrop. Thanks for endangering my life!)
Aww, I think it's sweet that Pinky made a birthday cake for Brain.
Hahahaha!!! Misspellings are my absolute favorite type of cake wreck, along with the written out directions - "on the top line" - hilarious. Thank you for the laughs today!!!
That third guy sort of reminds me of the Fry Guys. Not much to add to the rest.
I don't know...I think the monsters are kind of adorable. I mean, Cookie Monster actually looks like he just got caught in the act of violently devouring an entire batch!
This is the first time that I found out that Haiku Joy is a teacher. That is just so, so...right!
Great cakes as always. I especially loved the Brain cake. That was a lets just take this cake out of the freezer and slap some toys on it maybe no one will notice the horrible writing on the cake. Or maybe it was test for our brains! Whoever can decipher what it says wins a prize! The flag ccc is just uncalled for...come on people isn't there a picture of the flag somewhere you can check...perhaps the decorator (I use that phrase lightly) was looking in a mirror. Haiku Joy I love your deodorant story....as a mother to teenagers I am not surprised.
I will be laughing all day about this post! Thanks
I have "Birthday Brain": my birthday is this week! Yay! I wonder if I'll get a cake...?
As someone who worked as a grocery store cake decorator(I actually frosted and decorated the cakes for both the case and special orders for five years, till I became a sahm) I've seen lots of examples if what happens when either the bakery department is closed for the day or there is no cake decorator on duty, so another employee writes on the cake. One poor guy I worked with couldn't even write legible on paper, nevermind a cake. And sorry, I must defend myself and fellow grocery store cake decorators, we are not all talentless idiots like so many examples I've seen on cake wrecks
#5 Things that ought not to be done to a carrot cake, ever: Exhibit A.
#7 The first candle is wrong. Yeah, that's it. We can't fault people who have to cope with the inconsistencies of American math. Politicians often have trouble with it, and some of them were born here. (ba-DUP-DUP!)
AudreyB, in my case, it was a 33-year-old mother of six.
@ Unregistered Commenter katiemack1012: (who wrote:
"...we are not all talentless idiots like so many examples I've seen on cake wrecks.")
----------
Aw, I'm sure that we ALL know that there are perfectly lovely cakes out there, and some VERY talented decorators! Yes, even in "chain" stores. I've seen plenty of them! It's the ridiculous and crazy ones that we come HERE for. Some days, the only thing that makes any sense at all is a good laugh, or a good cry. We know we can get one of those here. (Guess which one?) =^~.-^=
At least it's time to go back to school... because some people really need it.
Cake #5 - Yeah, "happy birthday", brain! How old are you? I'll take a guess... 3 (Years or months?)
Cake #7 - That one is still salvageable. Just add "x3" to it. Or... order two more cakes. I know I would.
Cake #9 - It could also have been "A winner is you"!
Cake #10 - WHAT is that sh- ahem, stuff? Is it a golf tee? A cream cone (uh)? A CONDOM? Well, it cannot possibly be a baseball bat. And most definitely CANNOT be the other thing. (Who would even think that?)
Cake #11 - The message is right. It says "Well came back". Of course it means someone named Well was out, but has finally come home. WELCOME BACK, Well XD!
@ drgns4vr:
You wondered:
"I wonder what a wreakreator could do to my checkbook to make the balance look a little better."
I'm not a wreckorator, but here's a suggestion: Alcohol. And plenty of it. (Hey, you didn't say "fix it." You said make it "look better.")
=^-.-^=
@Sabs: Well, if the brain belongs to Abby Normal or Frankenstein, perhaps the brain has a different birthday than the rest of the body.
@Haiku Joy: Video feed can be accessed...how?
Student: "Mrs. Haiku, I'm afraid I did not complete the assignment and should not be expected to because I have children, afterall"
Haiku Joy: *picks up fondant baby and bites its head off*
Student: *looks aghast*
Haiku Joy: *methodically chews fondant baby while staring at Student* "Mmmm, the soft spot is my favorite..."
Student: "Right. I'll get on that assignment immediately."
Su, er, KinkiniBee: Congratulations on your college-bound offspring!
@katimack1012: Oh, we know. There are plenty of grocery store cakes that are adorable. In fact, my local chain is very competent (darn it!) and I have been mostly unsuccessful in trying to be an official wreckporter.