A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
May 2, 2013 ...then you for SURE won't be getting far in it:
;)
Thanks to Jennifer M. for that visual image. ("Heel, toe. Heeeeeeel, TOE! Heeeeeeel, TOE!")
And it's such a pity the baker didn't have, I dunno, some form of small-scale model to reference, isn't it?
Yeeeeah.
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Reader Comments (57)
It took me a long time to work out that thing on the toe is a tiny handbag, not a sticking plaster.
It's a shame because the top half, the pink bit, looks fairly well done. Do you think they handed the heel over to an apprentice to finish, like a surgeon who can't be bothered to close?
Sung to "These Boots Are Made for Walking"
That cake is made for balking
And that's just what I'll do
Try to sell me that cake
And I will balk in front of you
What a difference an inch makes!
This is the one time that I wish that had been a CCC. It would almost be forgiveable then. Almost.
The ground is covered with snow this morning in Omaha, and we're still in a Winter Weather Advisory. That was mind-boggling enough for May 2.
But then I saw this cake. It took a full 2 minutes to see that the beige thing was a purse, not some kind of strange sole protection device.
And the rest:: Feed this to someone who has Imelda Marcos Syndrome. They'll never buy another pair of shoes again! It's a sure cure.
Sharyn: Thanks for the Nancy Sinatra reference!
There is no excuse for this. None. I don't care HOW busy the wreckerator was. Sheesh.
Thank you Vicki! I had no idea what the purse was till you said something. My husband said it looks like she stepped in gum.
I guess this is what happens when you try to squeeze in an extra serving of cake.
@Sharyn, somehow I knew that would be the selected song for today. Love it!
I'd hate to see the foot that did fit in that....uh....shoe.
The frightening thing is that I think I may just be a CCC (patooie!) covered in vast amounts of icing. The heel looks like it might be 2 cupcakes. Ack!
That is no where even close to a grocery store cake. That's a home baker or a regular bakery lacking any skills.
Hey now, the tiny, flesh-toned purse kind of hides the disparity.
The baker had just read Steve Martin's Cruel Shoes.
Mary> I believe that cake would actually fit my feet. Now, that heel? I might actually need one that thick because of the rarity I do wear heels.
Yeah, didn't know that was a purse, either. Thought it was a toe cushion or heel grip.
the pink part isnt bad. Had it been me, I would have just made the heel part a LOT lower and made it look like a shoe. It wouldnt have been exact to the cute little plastic model, but it wouldn't have been this monstrosity either.
Reminds me of the Steve Martin routine, the "Cruel Shoes".
I heard this cake won first prize at the National Cake Decorators Convention...it was a shoe-in....
@Sharyn: spp!!!!
I've seen enough wrecks here to not be shocked by how bad this cake is, but I am totally baffled why the tiny beige shoe and purse (thanks for pointing out what that was) are even on there. Any ideas folks?
Shoe-cake, you baffle me... Shoe cake, you baffle me... Shoe cake, you baffle me... There's a template next to you... O_O
I believe that the "heel" part is meant to be an old-style Nokia cell phone case (http://www.uk-mobilestore.co.uk/product_images/w/cp-326_312x312__90270.jpg). It seems like the giant shoe is meant to be constructed from the accoutrements of a Sex In The City character.
@Heather: Because it's easier than writing 'shoo' on the cakeboard.
Are you sure that’s a shoe and not a noisemaker? Because that’s totally what it looks like.
A cake for a girl so fabulous, that even her accessories have accessories.
@LDM: That's what she said.
LOL @mel! **wiping up coffee** when will I ever learn.
13 yr old MiniMe would LOVE a shoe cake for her birthday! I'll show her this and hopefully she'll change her mind.
Michael K. - If your theory is correct, then it's an Epic Fail on even more levels. Kewel!
@Heather, I think the miniatures are white chocolate candy molds. They're too perfect to be hand-molded.
That's odd, it looks like someone suddenly realised this was meant to be a high heeled shoe not a pump or a ballet shoe, so they just panic slapped a sole and huge heel on there.
Are you guys sure that's a purse?
I thought the person stepped on Silly Putty. Also, the heel looks like the handle off of a hammer or something.
Maybe it's a rum cake and the 'chef' was dipping into the ingredients.
Is the heel make of cupcakes??? There are two lumps. If so, this takes the cake for cupcake disasters
No, you can't fool me. I know a Star Trek The Original Series Type II Phaser covered in pink icing when I see one.
Are the tiny shoe & purse made out of Silly Putty?!
sorry, some things are not meant to be represented in cake, and the bottom of a shoe is one of them. But without making that faux-pas, we wouldn't have Cake Wrecks.
Would you believe it's actually a Top Secret Control Shoe Gun (with pump-action trigger)?
@jackwire - LOL!!
My son just signed up for tap classes, so my first thought was "that's a strange-looking tap plate on that weird shoe."
Silly me.
I honestly can't forgive this because it would have been so easy to template it rather than trying to freestyle the cut. I'm concerned that I knew the beige toe thing was a handbag right away. Maybe I need to lie down.
It is a shoe gum, geesh am I the only one who sees it. ;) ;)
I am so confused. Did 3 different people make this cake????
Tan, black, and pink icing all seem to be very different 'art' work.
Looks like an orthopedic high heel..
Although if she'd been going for a banner atop a castle turret, I would say she'd done pretty well. It's all in your perspective.
Ok. I think I figured this out. It's supposed to be a cake for a 7 year old girl. Who loves shoes. And her mom/baker/whoever thought it would be clever to meld the two (the big 7 and a pink shoe) together. Then when it looked confusing they whipped some plastic accessories on there just to make sure the message got across. Yep, nothing solves a poorly conceived piece of doo-doo like a mini plastic shoe and purse-thingie.
I'm pretty sure this is a ballet slipper cake pan with a heel added onto it (possibly out of cupcakes). Hence why the top shape looks somewhat normal and the whole heel looks bizarre.
@Ian Osmond: Thanks, now you've said that all I can see in my minds eye is a redshirt gazing at his icing smeared phaser in dismay as his death rushes toward him.
So I guess I'm the only one that saw the thing at the toe and thought it was a panty liner?
@Just Andrea ~ Salted caramel babies O.O Bahahahahahahahaha
Maybe it is meant to be a gun-shoe cake. If Maxwell Smart can have a shoe/phone, certainly someone can invent a combination gun and shoe. No? I didn't think so, but I tried.
Never judge a cake decorator until you've walked a mile in her horribly deformed shoes.
When I first saw the picture, I thought it looked like a strange gun, and that miniature shoe was the trigger. Then I realized that this IS a shoe.
A blind man could do better D:
Lady GaGa would wear that.