Happy No Pants Day!
May 3, 2013 [Note: John says I have to put a little warning on today's post, so: warning.]
[running in]
Guys! It's No Pants Day*! Quick! TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!!
(*Or as we professional bloggers call it, "Friday.")
[ripping off velour track suit pants]
Ahhhh.
Now, I'm just going to plop down on the couch...
[PLOP!]
...and then I'm going to remember that our couch is leather. COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!
While I wait for the feeling to return to my lower half, let's take a look at some cakes that are also missing pants:
;)
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess Susie likes cheetahs, Twilight, and black string licorice.
;)
Remember, it's rude to stare.
Unless the cake starts it.
Erm...
;)
That awkward moment when you can't tell if your birthday cake is supposed to be a turn-on or an insult.
Oh, I just remembered: our friends across the pond call underwear "pants." Oops! Haha! Well, don't you worry, my friends: I've got you uncovered:
;)
Just tell your kids it's a flower... growing out of a boulder... getting a shot in the a$$.
Thanks to Lisa M., Brandi H., Rinat, and Sarah F. for dancing with the devil in the full moon light. Now, who wants to pry me off this couch? Anyone? Anyone? Guys?
Hello?
Reader Comments (83)
The penisless Brit looks like my Uncle Ted.
AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!! D:
Pecs like a mesa.
This comes of isolation
exercies, bro.
If you look just right - that second one could be Homer Simpson. :)
Is it just me or did anyone else see ET in that second cake?
Sung to "Born Free"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qBK4RRpouQ
Born free, so shed most of your clothes
And feel how the wind blows
Born free, and you look the part.
Live free, and no pants surround you
Your nipples astound, too.
For me, they're leaving brain scars.
Stay free, though some might deride you
You're showing off your backside
Like you've nothing to hide.
Born free, for ease of shot giving
Is that flower living?
Help. Me. Unsee!
Ahhhhhhhh cake #2 is Homer Simpson!
Cannot. Be. Unseen.
Is anyone else disturbed by the chimpanzee trying to push his way out of the second cake face-first?
I am too seeing a monkey in cake #2. I think its the most disturbing cake of today's bunch.
Rorsharch test cakes are fun yet creepy.
Okay, that last butt-cake with a dagger puncturing it has GOT to be explained; ANYONE???? The only good thing is that the price tag is 299 Yen= $2.99 . I guess that's a reasonable price for a horrid concept cake.
I saw Homer Simpson immediately!
On second viewing, that "dagger" is really a hypodermic!!! The nurse must have had a really stressful day to have plunged the needle and dose cylinder THAT far into the patient's tushy.
I think the second cake looks like someone who escaped from the original "Planet of the Apes" movie and was then run over by a steamroller, but not completely flattened.
The third and fourth cakes look like someone was looking for another use for their heart-shaped baking pans. Back to the drawing board, wreckerators!
Yes, Amy, I too am disturbed.
ROFL!
That second one is either Gizmo the Mogwai, or one of the apes from Planet of the Apes.
Did I read that sign right o the last one? It looked like it cost 299 units of whatever currency that country uses. I hope that doesn't translate to much!
@ Amy! YES YES!!! I SEE IT!!!
And now I am going to go and cower in the corner...
I'm still trying to figure out why cake #1 has a six pack on his pecs. Is that even possible?
Cake #1 answers the question, "Why does a man have nipples?" (The answer is "because he would look ridiculous without them.")
#4 is blowing my mind because it's the second one of those I've seen on this site, which would imply that this type of cake is a cultural phenomenon on the level of smoking lambs. Incidentally, "going number 4" is a polite euphemism for defecating live sea anemones.
Okay that first cake looks like he has a praying mantis head stuck in his chest with black stuff on it. And now you can't unsee that. I'm sorry.
My first thought on the last cake was a raw turkey with its pop-out temperature probe.
Yep, I TOTALLY saw Homer Simpson in that Union Jack cake!! :-)
It took a minute for me to get the 'staring' comment. Now, I wish I hadn't.
And, if you must do a torso/butt cake, why must it be either pasty, living in the basement white or Jersey Shore faux tan orange? Neither is any more appetizing than the cake itself.
*Adds these to the list of types of cakes never to order/eat.
That second one is so totally Homer Simpson trying desparately to crawl out of a torso, all Aliens like.
1) The first cake was obviously made for Johhny Cash's son....
2) When I look at the second cake I have a strange urge to phone home....
3) I think the third cake is a veterinarian's model of a camel's foot...or maybe just the toe...
4) And that last cake....something must have been lost in the translation..."I'd like it to look like the Sword in the Stone, but I know that's a pain in the a$$ to make..."
@Jen: "Unless the cake starts it" - ROTFL!!!!!! Best line of the week
@Sharyn: Awesome as always -- thank you
@John: I'm with you on that one
Homer Simpson. Definitely Homer Simpson.
Is anyone else disturbed that the first stripper cake is for an 18 year old? Or am I just getting old?
Sharyn and Haiku joy bahahaha
**scribbling furiously**
Dear Craig,
Please send portable un-see machines to all 4 corners of the world (and 1 through the worm hole to @Haiku Joy) STAT!
Sincerely,
Your biggest fan
@Sirlaffsalot Thank you! Glad someone else saw it too.
I see Homer Simpson. And I see E.T. And a chimpanzee. I see pretty much everything *except* what the cake was intended to be. How is that possible? I am in awe of the amount of Wreckitude it takes to put out a cake that looks like everything but what it's supposed to be. Can they do it consistently? 'Cause I might just order one.
You know, they eat that part of the pig in France. I think they call it a "rosette", or something poetic like that.
So, are we 100 percent sure the brit is not actually a girl? maybe a pregnant gymnast girl?
I mean, there are no genitals under that union jack. and the breasts are a little perky, I'd say she's about 3-4 months along, but then there's the strange abs- hmmmm.... this is a very tough one. I can't stop staring.
And while I'm at it, I think the first cake, if you cover the bottom half, looks more like a bad case of scoliosis on someone's back.... but then the genitals wouldn't be in front. Hmmm. again- very confusing.
@jackwire, for my 16th birthday my older sister got me a Chippendale's poster. My mom was horrified but I hung it on my wall right by my Kirk Cameron posters o.O
@TLC: That explains cake #2, exactly.
@Naomi: HA! I am thoroughly glad I never drink anything while reading this blog! "Going number 4..." HA!
I would comment on the cakes, but after that second one was staring at me (also my co-worker is *whispering* right there behind me), I quickly scrolled right past the rest (unfortunately, I did get a glimpse of what Sir Laffsalot described as a particular part of the camel's anatomy).
@Jen: Cheetahs, Twilight and black licorice! Hee! *whips out the crow bar* Let's see if we can get you off that couch with all of your skin intact...What, John(thoJ)? Hey, give that crow bar back. I need it to...wait...I'm just trying to help... *front door slams in face* WELL! You just can't do a good deed anymore. Perhaps I should have gone with the scissors, instead...
Why am I seeing a Furby in that second cake?
Cake 2 - I would swear it's Homer Simpson frozen in carbonite. :-)
Evidently, nothing - and I DO MEAN NOTHING - says "Happy Whatever" like an "Imminent Chest-Burster" cake... I say we take off and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
You're all wrong about cake #2, sorry. It's actually Dr. Cockroach from Monsters vs. Aliens. Seriously.
If you look at the pecs/abs on the British cake right (wrong?) you can kinda see Homer Simpson's face. Don't quite think that's what they were going for...
Thank you for the last one, I was confused because they all did indeed have their pants on!
Dear @"Gossamer",
Done. BTW, is that an Incredibles reference in your close?
I'm sure the makers / recipients of 3 & 4 don't want to be the butt of any asinine jokes, so I'll just back on out of here.
@jackwire, you are not alone.
Oh, the Tom Daley cake just made me cringe so badly! I'd much sooner have seen the Homer Simpson face everyone else saw first!
That second cake reminded me of Pherb, from Finneas & Pherb. Perhaps I watch too many shows with my kids.....
Just what is that second cake. If you told me it was supposed to be female, I'd believe that, too. The sort-of-six-pack abs don't make it male, nor does the g-string. Those could totally be a woman's boobs.
Help! The cake DID start it! Why did they cut the nips out to the size of dinner plates?!
My EYES!!!! Aaaargharghblarggggle!
OK, the uglylaughtillyoucry thing at work isn't a good look....so put the manless cake down and back away slowly...btw, is it me or is the chest hair roosting on the 6-pack on one of those?
Yep, I'm a Brit and was all agog, only to remember halfway down the page that in America 'pants' means 'trousers' and not men's underwear. By the way, does anyone else see the monkey in cake no.2 ?
I totally saw Homer
Shirley - it's Chinese Yuan, not Japanese Yen, which means anyone who bought it was shelling out rather a lot comparitively.