Wednesday
Nov202013
Cake Wrecks At The Movies
November 20, 2013 Famous movie quotes paired with Cake Wrecks? Why, that's:
"Elementary, my dear Watson!"
;)
So...
"Come play with us, Danny!"
;)
"Come play with us... forever... and ever... and ever."
"If you build it, he will come."
;)
He swings, he scores!
"You can't HANDLE the truth!"
;)
...your what? YOUR WHAT?!
"You had me at 'hello.'"
;)
Turns out Renée was a real valley girl.
"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."
;)
You and me both, sister.
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
;)
And finally, my very favorite:
"DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS."
;)
Thanks to Milissa M., Britani O., Trish, Erica M., Kimberly B., Helen Z., Anony M., & Kerami A. for going ahead and making our day.
Reader Comments (53)
Sung to the Muppet Show Theme
It's time to face the music
'Cause that Shool cake ain't right
It's time to meet the dead twins on your birthday cake tonight!
It's time to kiss and make up
He wants to score tonight
We'll never know for certain since the baker's just not bright.
Her depth will truly stun here
Let's combine "up" with "throw"
It's like a kind of torture
To see babies buried so
Now please don't get me started
French girl makes me faint-hearted
It's time that she departed
These cakes are sensational, confrontational, educational, wreckerational
Thanks for putting on the Cake Wrecks Show!!!!
Hello Gorges...deep, very deep.
I NEED the Unsee Machine now! That last image is searing itself into my brain now! Who could possibly think that was an acceptable looking cake?
Oh no, it wasn't the bakers. It was wreckers killed the cakes!
Cake Cong, 1933
What in the holy heck happened to Sandy???? Although, if the buzzing thing she's holding is what I think it is, she'd probably like the "Slugger" cake. Ewwwww.
Why does the 6th picture (cupcakes?) look like rancid deviled eggs that somenone technicolor yawned all over?
As GawdAwful is my witness, those two "children" on the second cake were at the top of a staircase in "The Shining." ("Come and play with us, Danny...for ever, and ever, and ever...")
=^e.e^= ((shudder))
I didn't realize guacamole icing was a thing.
If Picasso worked in buttercream...
Sandy, the other Wicked Witch of Oz.
I thought they looked like baaaad deviled eggs too miss_paper.
Oh my. Those are . . . well, for a couple of them it's almost hard to think that the baker DIDN'T have that movie quote in mind when making the cake! Especially the twins one . . . .
Also, I already tweeted it, but just wanted to post here to say:
As of this day, November 20, 2013, after 2 months and 10 days, I am COMPLETELY caught up (from the beginning) on Cake Wrecks. Yes! So now I'm going to read Epbot from the beginning. Since it's existed for a shorter time, that should be faster. :)
OOPs--I just noticed that you'd already "gone there" with the twin freaks. I'm going to go huddle in a corner and eat guacamole cupcakes...=^0.o^=
I think the third cake is from that movie about a young Iowa corn farmer who wants to be a baseball player like his idol, Ty Cob. Luckily, he is spotted by a famous talent scout, known as The Kernel, who then meets him. “Your talent is a-maizing,” says The Kernel to the boy, who is all ears. “Awww, shucks,” the boy mutters. The boy signs a contract, and has visions of clothes of silk during the day and women with tassels at night….
But it is harder than he thought. No longer outstanding in his field, he’s now part of a large group of hopefuls. He spends a lot of time milling around. No longer in his element, he strikes out, and goes to the locker room and bawls.
He leaves the field dejected and heads to a bar, where he meets Amber’. She takes him back to her room where she notices his rather large stalk. “OMG,” says Amber’ as she stares at him. “That’s some GMF you’ve got there,” she adds, showing off her knowledge of both acronyms and food science, and nicknames him The Jolly Green Giant. He, meanwhile, is enjoying her niblets. Amber’ introduces the boy to her “manager,” who offers him a career in “movies.” Although at first the boy is hesitant – after all, that kind of movie goes against his grain – visions of silk and tassels sway him. The movie, “Field of Creams,” is a huge hit, and there are plans to continue with the corny story…make it into a serial.
I'm still trying to figure out the anatomy in that last cake...
What's on that last wreck?
Seriously, what...
No, I mean it... DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING!!!!!
@Sharyn: spp
@Cathy: lol....
@SuBee: hahaha...nice! (loved the original, not so much the re-bake....)
@Kay S.: congratulations! Now, for some portable fun, be sure to get the two CW books!
I laughed so hard at that last cake! There's a woman in my town that walks around with a bikini all summer. She's got to be in her 60s or 70s - God bless her - and she walks everywhere! I saw her walking two days ago and didn't recognize her because she was wearing winter clothes! So yes, that last cake....Sioux Falls has the real deal!
@KayS - Congrats! And enjoy Epbot!
@Jen - awesome mash-up with wrecks and movie quotes!
Sharyn hehehhee :D as for those cakes UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH D: D:
My version of Craig's List
#1 Well, the flowers aren't so bad. Except for the top right now. It's missing a petal
#2 The cake itself is cute. Why would they do that to those poor babies?
#3 **snicker** Jen's commentary is the best! I have nothing polite to add ;-)
#4 Well, at least they spelled your correctly!
#5 SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!
#6 Rotten deviled eggs... mmmmm....
#7 Somebody catch that butt before it falls off the table!
#8 What?? Just... What??? @Zippy ~ I think I just died O.O
Seriously, that last one made my eyes water.
WAIT, I KNOW WHERE I'VE SEE THAT BEFORE. Monster mom from Dead Alive. Gotta go throw up now.
Ummm, my name is Sandy and I feel very sorry for the other Sandy that this cake was made for! Hopefully not meant to be a portrait! She has seal flippers for feet. She can roll her leg skin up like pants. *shudders* Her boobs hang down to her bikini bottoms. *Ugh* The arm bones connected to the shoulder bone. *Ack!* But that face! What the heck...? Wearing sunglasses...right below that is her nose...directly under the nose is what I think is the mouth...but what the fern is that thing growing out of her shoulder and bending up to her mouth and under her nose?????? It's clearly not part of the neck and nose because her bikini top is not tied around it. It is a separate appendage. But WHAT, dear God, WHAT is it?!!!!! It also looks like she has been scratched in the face or maybe she accidentally scratched herself with those tiny claw like hands of hers. Oh please, make it go away! I can't stop looking at it and my brain is about to explode! Oh the humanity! Where is the eye bleach when you need it? IMHO worst wreck ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor poor Sandy. That was the worst thing that could have been inflicted on you when turning 40.
WHAT THE HELL?!
I just had a prospective client ask me last night to build him a website for $9/hour. So I'm just a little too furious this morning to think of clever lines.
That being said, I think those twin dolls are some of the truly creepiest things I've ever seen. Even moreso than some of the fetus cake wrecks that have been posted here. And then I got to those cupcake. . . things. Ugh.
@GingerSnap: OMG, what a funny comment! My web hosting service is based in Sioux Falls, I'm going to send this photo and your comment to the staff and ask them if they know this woman in the bikini! HA!
So, that last one. I am suspicious, but let's give it the benefit of the doubt and say she's holding an electric razor to shave the red stubble off her calves. Yeah, that's it.
But what is the extra appendage coming out of her nose? Or perhaps growing out of her shoulder?
Aha! Now I know what to do with those leftover chicken drumsticks in the fridge! Thanks, Sandy.
@mel - Just to inform you, the Class A minor league team for the Minnesota Twins is located in Cedar Rapids, IA, and they're called the Kernels.
@GingerSnap - I'm going to have to ask my brother-in-law and sister-in-law about the bikini lady of Sioux Fakls.
@ Sharyn- That song was over the top! I'll be humming it all day Long. I can't firgure out that last cake either.
The quote selected for Cake 3 made me burst out into loud laughter, so my 2-year-old came running in from the other room to see what was so funny. While he was here, he helpfully offered his reactions to cakes 7: "Baby fell down! Baby FELL DOWN!" and 8: "... a CHICKEN!"
For that last cake (poor Sandy), I just keep hearing Jessica Rabbit saying "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way"
@Mel--I hope your protagonist managed his movie career well enough to get some big Chex, enough money to allow him to get his Kix indulging in fast cars, etc..
@SaraV: Yes, and I've seen them play against the Davenport, Iowa, River Bandits (the local team here.). Cedar Rapids is also home to the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls, one the derby leagues I follow. I also am a sponsor for one of the skaters.
Great ladies, all!
OK - yeah. She's squatting down shaving her legs, and the black thing saying "ZZZ" is an electric razor. But what is the deal with the head? Does she have two faces? And has one of them sprouted a penis?
I'm very disturbed.
So at first I thought Sandy was squating, and she had her hand on her knee. But , if you squint and look at it through your lashes then it looks like she has huge hips and the lumps in the middle of her calves are actually her knees. This does not explain where the sides of her bikini bottom went or the whole shoulder/nose growth, I'm stumped.
Do you think Sandy may be holding a fly? Perhaps it is brother to the one that was in the Telepod with her. She has leg segments forming with hair growing on some, and an alarming large proboscus forming on her face. Her hands are shrinking. And her eyes changing too. Could Sandy be a female Seth Brundle from The Fly?
Happy 40th indeed.
Melanie - You're disturbed, and I'm vexed... Very, very vexed.
@mel ~ I think I hurt myself
that last cake.....oh my God....it's the most description defying...thing... i've ever seen.
Did the wrecker actually think that that could pass as some sort of human image???
Was it decorated by a blind monkey!?!? I hope Sandy got her money refunded! And got a formal apology from the "decorator"! And that said "decorator" was fired for that cake.
"You saw it; you can't unsee it!"
That last cake! AWWWWWWWWWWWW! I need the unseen machine! I canNOT believe that that cake was made by a "professional". Really?! That cake is hideous!
Words do not accurately describe the hideousness of that cake! Did I mention that it was hideous?!
Eww! So far, the WORST cake I have seen. Thanks!
about the second one from the bottom; that might have been a somewhat decent cake without that part of a baby... thing on it.
I think that last one looked into the Arc of the Covenant.
@mel:
Hay, I saw that movie! The film was old and quite grainy, but nevertheless very filling..er, fullfilling.
Just one thing: I can't quite wrap my head around the doohickey that's stuck like a lost snot on the tip of Amber's "s". I want to flick it off like a bug. Would that be too weevil?
=^~.-^=
@drgns4vr: lol...well done...(and I hope so, too...)
@Jodee: I am so sorry......I hope you'll be OK.... :-)
That's just terrifying. I won't allow myself to be so traumatized that I never eat a cupcake again. The baby cake is kinda cute except for the baby that was cut in half.
@GingerSnap and others: Yes, my Sioux Falls friends know about bikini lady. A staff member of my web hosting service grew up with her. And there used to be a Facebook page that listed sightings of her.
I want that last cake for my 40th! Not that I look like that... Well, when did I shave last?
Poor Sandy. Who knew the female Ballchinians have a penis growing off the side of their faces?
Wow if that's what 40 looks like I think I am staying 25 forever lol. Scary and hilarious. Poor Jack if Rose looked like that he might have jumped off the boat. Wreckerators are still scary.
OK, I just came in here to see if any/everyone else was as confused and messed up by that last cake as I am. Cool. Carry on.
Your Pal,
Storm