Turkey Countdown
November 21, 2013 Ok, people, T-Day is in exactly one week! So let's sound off.
Turkey Roach?
;)
"Here!"
Turkey Snake?
;)
"Presssssssent."
Turkey Bride-of-Frankenstein?
;)
"Here - but to be frank, this hair is a little out of season."
Turkey Ball?
;)
"I prefer Butter Ball."
Turkey Flaming Football?
;)
"My ball. My ball. My ball is on FI-YUR!"
Turkey Groins?
;)
"First one to make a 'stuffing' joke gets his wattle torn off."
Turkey Face?
;)
"I am not a human being! I AM AN ANIMAAAL!"
Aaaaand last but not least... Turkey Poo-Wang?
;)
"'Sup."
Ok, look's like we're all here! So let's get out there, peeps, and make this a Turkey Day they'll never forget.
Thanks to Cara B., Edward G., Robert S., Hannah W., Julie M., Lori C., Hannah W., & Crystal E. for reminding us to be thankful... for pumpkin pie.
Reader Comments (49)
The smirking corn!!!
Umm, I think I'd like to forget it, thank you...
Sung to "Who Are the People in your Neighborhood?
Oh, who are the turkeys in your bakery case?
In your bakery case
In your bake-ry case?
Oh, who are the turkeys in your bakery case?
The turkeys that you'll see today.
Turkey Roach scuttles around the case
Turkey Snake will strike you in the face
Franky's bride will blankly stare at you.
While Butter Ball goes rolling through.
Flaming balls will make a turkey dance
Turkey groins should really put on pants
Turkey Face will make a point or two
And Poo Wang isn't good for you.
Yes, these are the turkeys in your bakery case
Aren't they a disgrace?
Turkey toxic waste
Yes, these are the turkeys in your bakery case
This year I think pie sounds OK.
Is Turkey Face wearing his legs as a muffler?! CREEPY.
"Oh, Mr.Gingerbread!! Is that a turkey in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" *blush*
@Sharyn: "Poo Wang" really cracked me up! (I was going to say that it got a rise out of me, but I'm not equipped that way!) =^~.-^=
I lost it at Turkey Roach. Lol.
I'm completely left aghast that someone would think it's a good idea to pipe turkey heads on the groins of gingerbread men. *shaking head*
This (turkey) roach is on fiiiii-re! (With apologies to Alicia Keys)
Is the caption on the second-to-last one a reference to a Mitch Hedberg joke? If so, I love this blog even more now. :)
Yup, it is pie for me, too, this year. How unscrumptious these cakes and cookies are!
The 6th cake – actually cookies: Not the fullest decorating bag the bakery and caught up in the Thanksgiving decorating frenzy, Ralph was a bit confused when his colleague said “I dare you to put some peckers on those gingerbread men.”
The Face of Bo goes seasonal.
The masses flee in terror.
...And there was great rejoicing...
My god, and to think of all the unemployed people out there...they could set up bake shops if this is the standard D:. Sharyn HAHAHAHAHAHA :D
unfamiliar shapes
thanksgiving bird massacre
o turkeys most foul
bird brains make holiday cakes
and customers weep inside
POO WANG! Bahahahaaa!
Peach Pie, Pecan Pie, Pumpkin Pie, umm... Pineapple Pie? Anything would be better than a Turkey Roach ::shudder::
Wow. Just...wow.
Sign me up too for the pie Alison.
I personally think the turkey groins are jealous of the gingerbread guy with the ear of corn groin...
My ball, my ball, my ball is on fire!
We don't need no icing let the motherclucker burn!
Is it me or did none of these decorators use the plastic eyes correctly? Flip over put nose in the loop so it doesn't show. Seems simple...oops right wreckorators not decorators.
While the turkey penises (penisi? Peni?) are great, I was rather um...impressed by the ear of corn penis that the other gingerbread man was sporting! Wowza! As my dad would always say, "anyone want to have a corn on the cob eating contest? But you have to start from the top and work your way down!" Yeah...he's kind of a dirty old man. Lol!
I want to unlearn the term "poo wang".
Thanksgiving just wouldn't be complete without a Turkey Poo-Wang. Thanks!
Yet another post that makes me wonder how a wreckerator can see a photo of something -- in this case, a turkey -- decorate the cake, compare the two and say: "NAILED IT!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!!"
And even more baffling: why anyone would attempt any sort of turkey decoration on a gingerbread MAN.
"Oh, we have some gingerbread cookies left over from last year!"
"What do we do with them?"
"Why, we put turkeys and corn on them, of course! NOBODY WILL EVER NOTICE."
...just... HOW. How are these bakers so cra-z?!
...I didn't think "Turkey groin" when I saw the cookies... I wanted to know what Gingerbread Man was doing back there. The farmer and sheep image flashed for a second. I'm off to look for a therapist.
Ok, I'm still stuck on the Turkey Penis cookies. They look like they're stacked up. How does that even work without the frosting getting all smeared and stuck the back of the cookie on the top?
OOooooo... so many horrible thoughts just went through my head and NONE of them are safe for work! O.O
@Shannon, I blame you. Or maybe your dad.
Is it just me, or does the turkey ball have tassel pasties on it's turkey breasts?
The "sup" caption on the last one just about killed me....
Oh my that last two are terrifying. That are the oddest gingerbread men ever.
I still don't understand how professional bakers can't manage to make a turkey cake. I know it isn't that hard I've done is myself several times!
Hmmm...I just realized...it doesn't look like a corn penis, it looks like Gingy is getting lucky with an ear of corn.
@Little Boy Blue, you made my day with the pecker comment!!
*sniff!* It's my favorite time of the year. The wreckerators never disappoint!
This past weekend I was at a cupcake decorating class and since it was themed to the time of year, we learned how to make turkeys. As I was piping the brown icing, all I kept thinking was "don't make it look like poo!!"
Two out of three's not bad, right? :-/
If that corn groin thing is all frosting, I am so down.
Also Poo-Wang looks like he would hit on anything with boobs, but in that creepy smooth way.
I'm with Paloma. Exactly what is Gingerbread Man doing to to those turkeys?
@TLC - There's you're mistake; you assume they have seen at least a picture of a turkey! Personally, I think these cakes look like they were made with longing, by a person who really longed to see a turkey.
EGADS-what a bunch of dirty-minded PERVERTS we have here!! Y'all are completely disgusting, filthy, and reprehensible! I LIKE that in people! Carry on! =^-.-^=
The jokes write themselves. The last one looks like it might be related to Sweetums.
Poo wang is now my favorite, move over asshats!
@Jodee: i read the first paragraph of your comment and laughed so hard I started snorking. And I thought EXACTLY what you said in the second paragraph even before I saw it!
Great dirty minds think alike!
E. Anne is right. On this post, the jokes writ themselves. . . . . .
The baker who made the second wreck did a pretty good job on the tail feathers.
Between the Eat Beef on #2, the wattle-threatening phallic gingerbread men, the poo wang, and shannon's dad (I think I'm in love!), I need a cigarette!
I agree with Liv, the tail on turkey snake is alright -- but I don't think they've ever seen a turkey face... Where is the beak? It kind of looks like poo wang's bloodied cousin.
Well poo wang now has me laughing hysterically. Wow. I cannot believe the wreckerators cannot see what they have caused. Much laughter and no eating of cake on this Thanksgiving that's for sure lol.
First time EVER I have laughed out loud at your posts. Chuckled? yes. Giggled, yup. But never out loud till today! hahahaha
First time EVER I have laughed out loud at your posts. Chuckled? yes. Giggled, yup. But never out loud till today! hahahaha
@zoomom, Great Firefly reference! Ha ha! I was thinking the exact same thing. :)
#2: turkey-snake says "eat beef"...? it's "eat ham"....ham<\i> is the alternative thanksgiving meat, not beef! derp!
#6: I get the turkeys (sort of) but "corn on the crotch"? please, no. why did the wrecker have to drag an innocent vegetable into that horrible display shelf?
the "poo wang": O_o Oh dear God...what is that white...blob...doing there....?
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly" WKRP in Cincinatti