Darth Vader Gets Wrecked
August 24, 2012 This weekend John and I are attending Star Wars Celebration here in Orlando, so of course I have to honor the occasion the best way I know how:
...by mercilessly mocking Darth Vader cakes.
This one, for example, looks like a codfish.
Granted, I don't actually know what a codfish looks like, but I imagine it must be kind of silly and wet-looking, which makes them practically twins.
And this one fits "scruffy-looking nerf herder" to a T:
;)
Wait - I just realized there's no "t" in "scruffy-looking nerf herder."
Ok, it fits it to a "scruffy-looking"
When I was a kid I found this nifty stone-texture spray paint at Home Depot, and proceeded to paint everything I could get my hands on, including my room's wall switches, door handles, and lamps. My parents were lucky people, y'all. Anyway, apparently this baker had the same fascination:
;)
But at least this one is icing. So you really can't take it for granite.
(HEYO.)
Speaking of stone, I'm not sure what happened to this Darth:
;)
...but it looks like he's having an avalanche.
And here's the one they found flattened under the rubble:
;)
Ouch.
This is technically the best Darth of the bunch, and that's really saying something:
;)
Something about sweat, and tears, and purple poo.
(Oh, you've never eaten a bunch of black fondant before? Then never mind.)
I saved my favorite for last, of course.
("I've got a bad feeling about this...")
Presenting....
Darth Droopy!
;)
"Heavy bweathing."
You know what? That makes me sad.
Oh, and if you're also at Star Wars Celebration this weekend, be sure to look for me and John! I think you're going to like the little pins I'm giving away:
;)
:D
Hey Heather S., Arielle C., Luci, Brenda J., Clare, Leah S., & Julie Anne D., who's your daddy?
Reader Comments (80)
I need those pins, please sell them. The squashed Vader doesn't look bad, just incomplete. The others D:
There's just something about black icing that just is NOT appealing, especially not in the quantities used in these poor excuses for Darth Vader. Poor guy must be hanging his head in shame. Oh, and the brown pooh icing seen so often is also not appealing, but I don't know which is worse --- the pooh brown or that nasty black. Ugh.
That fourth Darth Vader cake reminds me of Shredder
Have a great time!
Have fun! And may the FORKS be with you!
(get it? "Forks"? Because the... nevermind...)
I love those pins and Droopy Vadar. Poor Darth Vader, he is like a wrecky free for all. Oh, I loved that 'texture' spray paint. Came in handy for prop making in theatre!
Man, now I want to go to the Star Wars celebration... except we already have plans to go to Kentucky. Sad. Kind of like Darth Droopy (and his extended family up there).
Sung to “The Love Boat” theme (Because there were a lot of times I wanted to force choke that show…)
Darth, exciting and new
With the Force, he’s expecting you
Darth, the meanest Dark Lord
Make him mad, and he’ll force choke you
Darth Vader doesn’t like looking like a black cod
Darth Vader as a nerf herder looks really odd
Stone Darth has an adventure
His body’s an avalanche
Darth’s been pressed to the floor
He’s a shiny guy, from whom sweat will pour
It’s Daaarrrrttthhh! It’s
Daaaaaarrrrrttttthhhhhhh!
Darth Droopy gets quite annoyed when his features run
He looks like a melting walrus left in the sun
Hey, you wanted adventure
Watch that Pretty Pony prance
Find Jen, for a pin you can score
She’s there somewhere dressed as Lady Vadore
It’s Jeeeeeennnnnnnn! And
Daaaaarrrrrrttttthhhhhh!
(Hi Jooohhhhnnnnnnnn!)
Use the Force!!!
I actually thought the squished one looked kind of cute, like a begging puppy. You know, with those big eyes and floppy ears.
But maybe that's just me.
Are you sure the first one isn't a bad impression of a sand person?
If you hadn't told me that the first one is supposed to be Darth Vader, I don't think I would have come up with that...
Will you be at DraconCon next weekend?.........another good place to get a dose of Darth Vaders.
The first one is looking at me in a funny way...
The second one looks more like a failed Cyberman cake than a failed Vader cake... I'm almost impressed.
The first one looks like a burned Cthulu!! OMNOMNOM CTHULU!!!
To me, that last one looks like what happens when a Wookie gives in to the Dark Side... Darth Chewie, anyone?
Oh, I think the third one looks pretty gneiss. Har, har, groan.
Hopefully there are some other geology nerds out there.
The first one looks like something out of Dr. Who. I don't know why but I just can't remember what to call it.........
He's melting,meelltiiinnggg!!
Wait,wrong film.Never mind.
LOLOL Sharyn
That second to last one, the shiny one (the "best" one), seriously bothers me. I don't know why, but the glistening helmet totally creeps me out... And so does the nerf herder, now that I look back at it.
But yeah... lots of purple poo and black stained lips and teeth. Attractive!
I also think that the smushed one is pretty adorable. Still wrecky, though.
The third picture in looks more like Cobra Commander got a new face covering more than Darth Vader!
The first one has me thinking "Darth Zoidburg"
Some of them look like Darth is crying out for mercy. That's sad.
I think the second one looks like the offspring of Darth Vader and C3PO.
@Sharyn funny as always, but now I have the Love Boat song STUCK in my head! gahhh GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT! LOL
Other than thinking the last one looked more Deputy Dawg, I think you got them all right
I totally spit iced tea onto my laptop after reading your comments.
Thanks.
The squashed heads look sort of Olmec-ish.
i think if the top one had slightly bigger eyes and was green - could TOTALLY rock the sleestak look....you know from that 70s saturday kids show, Land of the Lost???
The first one looks like a black sleestak !
Darth Ood, anyone?
I'm fairly certain one of those was actually Dr. Doom, not Darth Vader.
Or maybe Dr. Vader? Darth Doom?
In any case, bakers really should keep their fictional villains straight!
#4 looks more like Dark Helmet than Darth Vader, if you ask me.
Sad Vader is sad. These make me weep. I would say something about the power of the Dark Side, but obviously it isn't as powerful as one would hope. *sigh*
And Sharyn? *claps claps claps*
Standing O, baby. Standing O.
I want a darthridingpony mug to match my other cakewrecks mug....
The first one looks like Anakin as he is being de-helmeted right before he dies.
The squashed Vader looks like the Legion of Doom's headquarters from the old Challenge of the Superfriends cartoon.
Why does darth droopy have LACE around it?
There seems to be a dearth of Vader cakes that look right. (Yeah, I know that's said something like "durth", but work with me, here. ;) )
I find the black of cakes... disturbing.
I think smashed Darth is really a Tie Fighter pilot in disguise. They are more smashed looking than Darth. (Yes, I know waaaaaaaaay more about Star Wars than I should.)
I'm truly amazed there are no comments about the sub-theme of Darth Ruffles!
Hmmm... perhaps this could be a new Comic Con costume... Darthina Vader, Ruffled Goth Queen!!
Okay, so the taken for granite comment made me choke on my laughter. I do exit interviews for graduating seniors; they submit a portfolio of work done and a final paper. One young lady used "taken for granite" not once, not twice, but three times in that final paper. I couldn't think of a polite way to correct her. Sadly, she was also in the top 20% of her class.
"No, I am your Falker Satherhood."
Darth Droopy looks a lot like Brak to me.
I have eaten black frosting before. It came out more of a really strange green color than purple. But, yeah, I know what you mean.
I want one of those pins!!!
Obviously, the force that is with that fifth cake is GRAVITY. *squish*
OMG I need some My Little Pony riding Darth Vader pins. Those are the best.
OMG! I need those pins. Actually, I just need one and a few hundred cards to hand out on where to get them. These would be a huge hit at Black Hat and DefCon next year!
Are you sure "Darth Droopy" isn't just a walrus in black hoodie? I wouldn't have known it was Darth if you hadn't told me.