Wednesday
Feb152012
A V-Day Snippet
February 15, 2012 So tell me, Wreckies: was yesterday an exercise in eye-rolling and teeth-gritting and ignoring all those saps on Facebook posting pictures of their chocolates and roses and oh-so-romantic dinners?
Don't worry, you're not alone.
In fact, in the spirit of sweet schadenfreude, here's proof that your day was at least better than this guy's:
;)
Ouch.
No matter how you slice it, that's one cutting take on "V-day."
It's also the only cake that comes with a side of frozen peas.
:D
[Note: If you're not having a hearty chortle right now, you've either a) never known anyone who had a vasectomy, or b) had a vasectomy.]
[Note Note: John's not laughing.]
Thanks for the shear genius, Kim D.
Reader Comments (64)
*snort* Side of frozen peas... *snort*
Don't worry, John, my hubby's not laughing, either. *I*, however, am chuckling, chortling, snickering, and generally falling over myself laughing.
And hey, I got to be in the room while my husband went through his personal V-Day, and had a ball (no pun intended) making jokes with the surgeon. So, double humiliation!
Yes, my hubby loves me. Good thing, too.
Bwahahaha...that cake doesn't mess around, it cuts right to the vas (deferens). Peas, please!
[snippets of laughter...or are those crickets chirping?]
Don't worry, guys. Most men find it doesn't make a vas deferens in their sex lives. (My husband will no longer eat peas, however...)
Between this cake and @anon's comment yesterday about Singles Awareness Day and its acronym -- SAD -- I'm seeing a whole 'nother side of Valentine's Day.
I thought V(asectomy) Day was the first day of March Madness, but I guess you can have that kind of fun anytime!
Ow.
6 years ago, my husband got his vascestomy 3 days before Valentine's Day. That year, things were a little less than romantic ;) I guess I should have made him a cake like this one to ease the pain?!?!
Somehow, I don't think getting this cake would help take the sting out of the experience. (Well, unless it was laced with morphine.) So I wrecked up a song for the poor guy! (With a little help from Hall & Oates.)
You never cross your legs anymore, and you bite your lip.
And there’s tenderness that’s in store after the big snip.
The doctor said “Just take Aspirin.”
But baby, you know somewhere he’s laughing.
You’ve lost that loving feeling,
Oh, that loving feeling…
My husband would laugh, but he's weird like that. he had a follow dr. visit, came home and said "happy valentines day, I'm sterile!"
Suck it up guys! I'm sure it doesn't compare to squeezing out a couple of babies! Love the cake!
At least the things on the side of the cake that look like little swimmy guys really ARE supposed to look like little swimmy guys.
Awesome cake! Love it! Course it really only works one way, I seriously doubt they could tastefully do a "Happy Hysterectomy Day!" for women, but then again, very few of these cakes are done tastefully anyway!
Little swimmers gone
Keep those frozen peas in place
No more swelling...soon
I would think they would pick a different color icing around the bottom, bc that color and shape and the subject of the cake...gross.
Bwahahahahaha XD
Vasectomy!! I kept looking at the little spermies and thinking...vivisection or feminist rally. But vivisection, sooo not the word I was looking for.
So in the interest of fairness, why not do a cake day about hysterectomies? Or similar female troubles? I'm certain they're out there somewhere... :D
I know a gentleman who got himself "fixed", his wife decided she deserved a tummy tuck, about a year later . . . (hey a couple kids will do that!) . . . she found out 8 months post tuck that his swimmers were persistant little buggers! Kinda "blew" the tummy tuck!
Guys, the closest female equivalent of a vasectomy would be having your fallopian tubes tied. The male equivalent of a hysterectomy is having your entire scrotal sac removed. </party pooper>
What's up with the positioning of the scissors? Are they planning to snip the flagellum off of every last one of those balloons?
Laughing at your husband's pain? How much do you love him anyway? Maybe he would think it's just as funny if he laughed at your cramps etc.
Finally, swimmers that don't look like balloons! (Or is it vice versa?)
Actually the female equivalent of having your entire scrotal sac removed is surgical removal of the ovaries.
Vasectomy funny! Ha ha ha! Cramping and bloating funny, ha ha ha! Panty leaks, funny, ha ha ha! Hot flashes funny, ha ha ha!!!
They would be just SO EASY to make a tasteless cake of. Really, really easy.
While neither a cake nor a wreck, these seemed like something you'd appreciate.
Especially if the Super Bowl had been played on Valentine's Day.
*correction* My wreck song was NOT a Hall & Oates wreck, but rather a Righteous Brothers wreck. I blame the internet; it lied to me.
Sorry John, but I am laughing...and still trying to convince my hubby to have just such a procedure...maybe cake would be a good bribery tool?
Actually, the cake
equivalent: just frosting
over empty space.
Cake Wrecks is so educational! :-)
Hey people, what happen this one?? http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2009/7/1/considering-the-uterus.html
Well, I guess I'm glad the visual representation is the snipping of the tail, and not the snipping of what they actually snip! Egads, that would have been awful!
And yes, I agree, the color choice is also not appealing here...oh boy.
If I got a cake like this, I would think it was just fine. I would never think of laughing at someone else's mistake, misfortune or Mississippi. That's why I'm a regular reader of a blog known internationally as the locus in the known universe of snarky humor and send-ups of the unintentionally funny.
Sorry, I got a bit confused there -- I was distracted by glazed doughnut hole brownies on the left sidebar.
If it proves not to be safe for my wife (to be) to have children, I'll visit Dr. No without hesitation. For now, I'll be shuddering quietly in the Bunker with a supply of the above brownies. "It's ok, guys -- we're a team! Yah!" (Spoken to other guys in the Bunker, not while looking down.)
Actually,
I made my own "Hooray for Hysterectomy" cake from this recipe:
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/better-than-sex-cake-ii/
It's called Better than Sex Cake and it WAS!!!
I almost showed this to my hubby but decided he wouldn't find it funny either. :heh:
I also got to be in the room and the HILARIOUS doctor was making the weirdest jokes...poor hubby. At one point he dropped something on the floor and said, "Oops!!" My hubby cried, "Oops WHAT?! Don't say OOPS!"
I don't think that's an anniversary my husband wants to commemorate in any way!! mercy!
I'm still waiting for the "Happy VD" cake. Maybe next year.
Yea, what Jenn said! Suck it up! :)
Carmiehead, you got to be in the room during the snip snip? I am SO bummed I couldn't be in the room for my hubby's cut up. That would've been so much fun, for me. ;)
I have been reminded yet again that I missed the opportunity to celebrate the occasion with a cake! Blast!
My hubby doesn't get the "frozen peas" reference, but then he hasn't had the procedure, either. When his bro and bro-in-law had it done, the only memory i took away was, "be sure to have frozen peas on hand."
Today's hitlist: HaikuJoy, Craig and Danielle! You guys cracked me up.
Of course, the frozen peas was HI-larious, too!
That cake looks like it's made of wax. Is that a bandage border around the bottom?
I had my "snip-snip" done in July. No peas for me, I just spent the weekend with a continual series of tall cold adult BEvERages. One in the hand, one in the (ahem) "crotchal" area. No Pain!
My 5yo, over my shoulder, looking at screen:"is that scissors mommy? (long pause) does that mean no fish?"
What teeny scissors!
I mean . . . oh . . . seriously,
no more vitamins.
@Craig - you just make me laugh. :)
bahahahahah!
years ago, shortly after my brother had the snip, I unintentionally chose one of those long winded birthday cards involving a dog who got kissed by a princess , turned into a handsome man and the punch line was " I bet your sorry you had me neutered now huh?"
His wife burst out laughing and all my brother said to me was "that's not funny"
I beg to differ! snort
Elisabeth Danielle and Carmiehead, why did either of you get married? Would you so much enjoy laughing at the expense of your children getting stitched up after a surgical procedure?
Aside from that, I enjoy this page, but I really do not understand all the nasty, needless viciousness aimed at the men who step forward to get this done. If they didn't, YOU would be risking "squeezing out a couple of babies."
No wonder the divorce rate is what it is.
Really, when you think about it, we don't have a very good case to resent men in this department. Why not? Because they're not the ones who HURT us so much coming out.
Personally, I just DROOL when I see a baby-shaped cake here, know what I mean???
More baby-shaped shower cakes please Jen!!!
Oh Susan, hush up. Consider the number of boobs, PMS, periods, baby and 'the girls' jokes AND CAKES out there in the known Universe. Guys love 'em - especially the cakes, if available for dessert. Turn about's fair play. I would have much rather have had a snarky, insulting, sexist cakewreck to celebrate my tubal ligation than a bouquet.
Elisabeth and Carmiehead..wow...just...WOW
I really hope someone gives you corpse-baby cakes the day you both have your uteruses ripped out.
And Jen? *shakes head in disappointment*
You should know better.
Lol now I know they make a cake for everything. Sheesh. Never would have thought of a cake like this..then again I have never even seen half the cakes shown on this site. This is a truly educational experience lol.
Amazing.
Misandry is alive, well and having a hen night. Worse, Jen's the hostess.
My hubby had the procedure to 'share the pain' of my hysterectomy 5 years ago, so no, I'm not chortling.
I think I'll stop recommending cakewrecks to people.....
[Editor's note- I'm so confused. Jen made a joke about the cake coming with frozen peas and now everybody is angry. What? Why? How? -john]
Ha, ha ha ha ha ha ! Genius I wish I'd thought of this for my hubby! HE actually did very well with his V,i was there and he didn't flinch.Brave guy.Unlike the medical student observing, who PASSED OUT at the sight of the keyhole surgery..... waaaah.
Incidentally, a V is a big commitment for a guy and I think cake is the least they deserve. Cold beers and lots of carefree sex does the trick! (after removal of frozen peas of course)
Fortunately for my hubby, I had my tubes tied with my last c-section.
Just a tidbit for anyone who may get the man-snip, a bag of frozen popcorn kernels is a great alternative to peas - smaller and easier to mold to the area. Plus there is no mistaking "daddies" peas in the freezer at suppertime... eww!
sigh... it' snot really vindictiveness, but men are often so blase about what we endure from our reproductive systems. BTW, a woman getting her tubes tied is nowhere near as easy as a man getting snipped, and it costs 10x as much. Been there. I love the cake! I know 5 men who've been snipped, all of them very glad they did it.