My Funny Valentines
February 14, 2012 My dears, the day has come when I can finally say:
;)
Er...
What?
Perhaps an illustration would help.
;)
Perhaps the children should leave the room.
(Then we can rock out with our "guitars" out!)
Sometimes a problem is pretty black and white:
;)
If ever a wreck deserved our silent reproach...
Others require a bit more brain power:
;)
Talk about a tough cake to wrap your head around.
Btw, you disappoint me, bakers. Not a single zombie joke? Really?
(And are those eyeballs? REALLY?)
Hey now, bakers, don't give me no lip.
;)
Or whatever this is, while you're at it.
Look, just stick with wishing us a happy Valentine's day, and we'll get along fine.
What's that?
You can't spell "Valentine's?"
Oh. Well, just abbreviate it, then.
;)
Clearly I didn't think that one through.
Maybe if you call it something else?
;)
Or, you know, grab the piping bag and have a hand seizure?
Tell you what: how about we give you big plastic letters to spell out the word "love," and you just plop those on a cake? Eh? Nothing to write, nothing to draw - in fact, I'd be hard pressed to think of a single way anyone could POSSIBLY mess...
;)
*headdesk*
Thanks to Dana B., Mindy B., Meredith B., Mary F., Marion N., Cathy W., Chris P., Laura H., & Jackie E. for bringing Valentine's Day to a new "loe."
Reader Comments (70)
Cake #4: brain? Or pile of intestines?
Either way, I'm not eating it.
I LOEV this blog.
You had me at "hand seizure."
Have a great "V.D.," guys!
My 5yo just looked at the last cake and said, "hey, they spelled it wrong! Some people don't know anything."
:)
Happy Valentine's Day to the Cake Wrecks family! WOW, these cakes, they're... something special! We just saw Jonathan Coulton in concert on Sunday night, so maybe that's why as soon I as I saw the brain cake i started singing his song "RE: Your Brains".
Bean me now, Scottie.
Just . . . bean me. Knock my brains out
and eat with ice cream.
I cannot believe that anyone thought a brain was romantic. Heck, DH & I are nurses and neither of us, despite our propensity toward bodily function humor, would find that cool. Does. Not. Compute.
I cannot figure out what cake #4 is either! But I'm sure it's not very festive for a day to celebrate love.
I think cake #7 says "Happy Love Day", and when I see cake #5, the "lips", I see Hypno Toad for some reason.
I find myself not inexplicably depressed by today's cakes.
Oh, so THIS is what they mean by "St. Valentine's Day Massacre." (I had no idea one of the victims was a mime...)
Posts like these remind me that I'm not a native English speaker. I took me ages to see why VD would be inappropriate. Eventually (without turning to Google - afraid of NSFW results) I thought: "it must be short for veneral disease!" It's complicated, VD, STD, STI,... So many acronyms for the same thing! These wrecks make me so happy that me and my boyfriend don't celebrate Valentine's Day.
I always try to be positive about these kinds of thing. Really! So my take on that last cake is that it was spelled as it was meant to be pronounced. As in, "I loev you, bebe." *waggles eyebrows*
I'm sorry, but isn't there supposed to be an apostrophe in Valentine's Day? Celebrating the feast of St. Valentine? So "Valentine's" is a possessive? It's just that this is the one place where I can count on seeing proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation (except for on the caik's, of course)!
[Editor's note- Bwoops. You're absolutely right. I missed two apostrophes in the body of the post but in my defense, I was looking at the title which is meant to be plural so it doesn't need one. Good catch! -john (thoJ)]
I think the lips one looks very crabbish. Also appropriate for VD.
Anyone who receives a cake on Valentine's Day should be polite and gracious and thank the giver. I will be delighted with any cake I receive today... even if it does look worse than any of these.
Some things are outside our control, and we can complain or we can put the best face on it.
Happy Valentine's Day to everybody, negativists included!
4 is a brain, saying "your (heart symbol) is on my mind." I give that one points for originality.
Cake #7 looks like "Happy Devo Day" to me. Are these not wrecks?
*headdesk* - Loev it!
I think those lips have a mouth...which is kinda freakin' my mind out right now.
And I hate to point this out but Valentine's day has an apostrophe as opposed to valentines which are small, foldable cards preferably with cartoon characters on them. I only mention it because your snarky comment is about spelling it correctly in the first place. *cringe *sorry
The rock your world would have been cute with a better looking guitar. As for those last two O_o
You guys featured a "love day" cookie-cake in a red tray last year, and I've seen enough "Enjoy Your VD" cakes (e.g. more than zero) to think they're doing that on purpose, but I was not expecting the brain. Because nothing says romance like a giant wad of ABC gum with eyeballs.
Wreckerators should try being mimes instead. Or would that be even more annoying?
YES. I am so glad the LOEV cake made it!
Also, I'm kind of in love (loev?) with the brain cake. I'll take brains over hearts any day!
That last one makes me think of a "Bad Spellcheck Theetar" video I saw somewhere. :3
I am embarrassed to say it took me a very long time (looking at the writing on the cake, looking at the "cake", looking BACK at the writing...) to figure out just what was going on with that brain cake. I'm just weird enough that, executed well, that would have been an awesome cake. The eyeballs did it for me!
V.D., hand Seizures, headdesk, oh my! Great post as always, y'all!
Happy Zombie V.D. L<3ev Guitar Day to everyone!
#1 - Happy ValenUp Dw?
Happy Valenlts Cake Wrecks!
I LOEV You!
Yes. Yes those are eyeballs. And a "Your".
You had me at hand seizure, but killed me with the last plastic show of loev.
Are those "LOEV" letters a set of cookie cutters? I think they are! So either they didn't actually have any appropriate flotsam available and decided to waste their actual cookie cutters, or they saw this as an excuse to jettison a set of cookie cutters that no one was buying — which would mean they're...
*sunglasses*
...both flotsam and jetsam.
*YEEEAAAAAAAAH*
Or maybe they genuinely thought someone would want to receive a set of cookie cutters as a Valentine's Day gift with their cake, which to me sounds just a step up from giving them a spatula with a red ribbon on the handle. I probably shouldn't be thinking too hard about the reasoning of people who can't even spell "love", huh?
I feel there is a deep philosophical meaning behind "Be Mime." But maybe that's just the cold medication speaking. Anyway, Happy VD, wreckers everywhere!
Bob - I saw "Happy Devo Day," too! That would be a good day to have.
Much Loev to the entire Cake Wreck crew!
I think that mouth looks more like a playdoh creation by a four year old, kinda strange....
In an effort to be nice today, I will say I'd happily eat the LOEV cake - I mean, look at those roses! BTW, the right corner rose - so mine. I called it! I get all the icing! Woohoo!
#4 -- inventive interpretation of a classic dilemma -- when it comes to "love" do you go with your gut instinct or what your brain's/mind's telling you is ideal? Or, what's real and what's just frosting on top of it?
But in this case, my gut's telling me it's all frosting and no substance, and my brain is asking "how hard did you hit your head against the desk?"
Jen's in fine form. Can I get a witness?
#1 The electric piping bag never caught on because you have to write really fast to keep the icing from piling up. Of course, that just makes the letters pileupinstead.
#2 Hey, that's a perfectly innocent guitar. With three strings. All of your better-known Russian rock bands have these. (See 'balalaika' on Wikipedia.)
#3 'Be Mime'. In other words, let your hands do the talking. Know what I mean, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.
#4 I bet it took a lot of guts to make this one. Oh, it's a brain. Well, that certainly ramps up the warm fuzzies. Speaking of which, nothing intended to be eaten by humans should be gray. (Cue 'foods that are gray' EPCOT in 3...2...1...)
#5 No. That much red frosting shouldn't exist, let alone be found in one place.
#6 NO.
#7 What does it say that I managed to decode 'Happy Love Day'? Starting to worry, now...
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
E is very, very... out of place. Stop the band -- we gotta fix this before the next take. Meanwhile, I have this odd urge to sing my alma mater's fight song. In the voice of Ol' Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra, for you youngsters). As if.
Huh!....Where do you hide a Red Slug?? Apparently on the back of a Red Cat's HEAD...hmm
Pretty sure the "Enjoy your VD" was on purpose, as I have a friend who has been saying that for years. He's always been a bit cynical about "Loev".
Hey, guys, thanks for the cheeky laughs!! At least there weren't any Happy Valentime's Day this year!!
I'm not normally squeamish, but the 4th one made me squirm in my chair quite a lot. Yuck!
That guitar needs some of that"dramatic swelling" & louder music from yesterday. LOL
#5 has sent me into Rocky Horror Picture Show fits!
I am totally blaming you if I break into giggles in a few weeks when I teach sheep's brains to my Anatomy and Physiology students. That cake brain is hilarious to me.
Am I the only one who thinks the smiley heart on the middle of #6 looks like a happy alien with no eyes?
My brother's birthday is today; I sent him this link as a "gift". Bet he'll appreciate the cookies I sent him just that much more.....now I have ideas for next year....muhahahaha
On the brain one, is the writing on a piece of plastic? why?????? Anyway, happy V.D. everyone! I loev you!
At least that last one didn't wind up proclaiming "VOLE."
Ky, thanks for Bad Spelchek Theetar.
is the 4th a brain??