Let's Play Telephone!
February 16, 2012 Ladies and gentlemen, the stories you're about to see are true. The phone calls, however, are just how I imagined they went.
"Yes, I'd like it to say 'Happy 6th Birthday Robert.' Oh, and could you put Spider-Man on the cake, too? That's his favorite character."
;)
You're welcome, lady!
"Just have it say 'Happy Birthday Keith & Arianna,' please."
[writing down order] "Nooo problem, sir. And what kind of decorations would you like?"
"Oh, whatever. I trust you guys."
;)
Foolish man.
"Could you write, 'Happy birthday cake, Chloe'?"
[confused look]
"Yes, seriously. She's three years old."
"Ohhh kay. You really want me to write that?"
"Yeah. See, she never says just 'happy birthday,' she always says 'happy birthday cake.'"
"Oh, I get it! Ok, sure, no problem."
;)
*facepalm*
"And what message would you like on your cookie cake?"
"Oh, this isn't for any special occasion. Although if you could put sprinkles on it, that'd be cool."
;)
Cool.
"Have it say, 'Happy birthday, Mike.'"
;)
Is there an echo in here?
"Just put 'Happy birthday, Stephanie.' Thanks!"
;)
Kinda makes you want to yell, "I'm an idiot!!" doesn't it?
Thanks to Joanna B., Sheri, Jodee W., Genevieve, Melissa M., Stephanie R. for literally being my most recent wreckporters.
Reader Comments (69)
I never realized Spider-Man celebrated Kwanzaa. You learn something new every day.
Today is the day that I realized that the sprinkles joke will, in fact, never get old.
I was once asked to answer some questions at a local mall. After I had replied to the first question, the girl looked at me with her eye brows raised. I shrugged and said, "That's all." She added "that's all" to my answer. This went on for six or seven questions - every one of my answers ended with "that's all". She must have left there and gone to work and a bakery.
#1: And, in recognition of his sixth birthday, put on the cake eight candles.
Also, in Robert Spiderman's land, they need 8 candles to celebrate their 6th birthday....
(but of course, after the "Robert Spiderman" who will notice the number of candles on the cake??? )
Nooooooo!!! It's going to take weeks to get that Guy on a Buffalo song out of my head now! It'll be so stuck in there that I'll inadvertently sing a bit of it and my kids will hear me and they'll start singing it (because I was stupid enough to show it to them way back when, and they LOVE it!) and it will make me so crazy that I'll start listening to anything else to try and stop it and then I'll end up with all kinds of songs swimming around in my brain and they'll come out here as rediculous wreck-songs!
I read this and just burst into tears.
I can ice cakes as fancy as these are iced, but I would never in a million years write such OBVIOUS misunderstandings, least of all for a birthday! And I wouldn't blame anyone for being furious if a baker decorated her cake like this, and God help the husband if he had brought home something like these from the store.
Usually Cakewrecks makes me feel even more super confident about finding a job in a bakery, but today... today it was just too much.
...
THESE are the people doing MY job???
Robert's 6th birthday cake has no Superman, but eight candles. Tee Hee Hee
Another great reminder to get all cake orders in writing!!
Personally I think the wreckinators have gotten to the point where they just like playing with our heads....
These are just awesome. I love them. If I ever go retail, I'm printing some of these out saying "We will NOT be on Cake Wrecks!"
LOVE that the 6th birthday cake for Robert Spiderman has 8 candles!
I especially like the 8 frosting candles on the birthday cake for a 6 year old!
I am confused about the eight candles on the first cake for the six year old. Along with grammar and spelling deficiencies, are wreckors so bad at math? And all of the colors on today's cakes make me wonder if some of them aren't color blind also. Maybe when I get my elementary education degree I can use some of these cakes as examples for my students on the importance of learning their lessons. And let's get more art back into schools!
It is me, or is every word on all of the cakes spelled correctly? So perhaps the decorators aren't complete morons.
*looking at the cakes again*
Yeah, forget I said that.
1. "Robert Spiderman" sounds like an accountant. As such, he'll probably catch the fact that his 6th birthday cake has 8 candles.
2. He trusts Keith and Arianna to share the same cake without any hanky-panky.
3. Chloe and the wreckerator are the same mental age.
4."Curse you, Sprinkles. Why must you always foil my plans?"
5. This is that annoying game where the person you're speaking to says everything back, verbatim. Passive-aggressive wreckerators just frost it instead of repeating it. Here, the wreckerator ran out of room, so the next cake says:
Stop it!
I mean it!
Can I speak to the manager?
I hate you!
6. "Thanks, Stephanie, for living another year. I hate funerals."
I will always remember this as the post that introduced me to "Guy on a Buffalo". I will forever be in your debt.
Wow. If these cakes could speak, they would scream "what's wrong with you people???" I know common sense has died a horrible death but these people seem to be reveling in that fact. I know if I had picked up any of these cakes I would taken a look and said "are you serious?" and then danced off joyously knowing I had a submission for Cake Wrecks!
Robert Spiderman
counts not in base ten, but in
1.299.
~~~
(I think that works if one of the candles is a little short or possibly unlit. I've always had trouble counting in bases other than ten and sixty. Mr. Haiku taught me to count in binary on my fingers up to 2,097,152. In theory. In practice, I've not gone past the 30s.
Back to grading.)
These all deserve a kick from the buffalo O O...
I think there are eight candles on that sixth-birthday Epcot.
I adore Chloe's cake! Best cake ever! It will be a family legend. It could not be replicated if they took in the photo
I click on your links EVERY TIME. Because I love the references to Princess Bride, Firefly and so many others, I have been treated to various Star Trek memes, Sandra Lee, and now "Guy on a Buffalo."
Thank you for enlightening me.
The "spinkles on it" doesn't even have sprinkles!! Outrageous.
Ahh classic cakewreck errors-always give me the giggles
Reminds me of the friends episode where Phoebe asked Chandler, "Why isn't it Spiderman? You have Goldman and Silverman..why not Spiderman?" And Chandler says, "It's not his last name..he's a SPIDER MAN." Yeah, good times..
Hey how did this become the Guy on a Buffalo post? I looked up Guy on a Buffalo on facebook and it lists him as a Public Figure. I don't know why but that made me laugh. He has a lot more honor in the community than I realized. Robert Spiderman reminds me of Robert California and thanks for that Kwanzaa comment I knew that cake reminded me of something very non-birthdaylike.
I'm starting to think that the customers are the fault in these kinds of "wrecks." I believe they are writing these instructions in the "text" instructions instead of only what they want it to say.
Like, where it says on the order pad, "text on cake" or whatever, they put "just write happy birthday, that's all." The bakery will write what it says to write!
I think this is what happens with many spelling errors too. I know a couple who have a baby girl. On the parents Facebooks the baby's name is spelled differently by mom and dad! One of them has to be right! (I always sided with the mom.)
The "literal" cake wrecks are my absolute favorite!!!!!!!
I used to work at a restaurant where the servers would ask if the customer wanted a SOUP OR SALAD with their dinner. When we brought out the small dinner salad the customer would be upset wondering what happened to their SUPER SALAD that they'd ordered.
We started asking if they wanted salad or soup.
Those people went on to decorate cakes.
That 'idiot' video just made me snort out loud at work! Getting strange looks now. Worth it though!
It's spelled Spiderman, but it's pronounced "Speederm'n".
They're related to the Spacemans, btw.
See, you can still get a job if you drop out from middle school!
Nobody is remarking on the excellent punctuation on Stephanie's cake. I LOVE that comma before the Thanks. We should be rewarding the excellent script and punction - I think.
These are by far my favorite kinds of wrecks!
Oh, and my family have seen the ENTIRE Guy on a Buffalo movie. The theme song (not the Guy on a Buffalo song, but the actual movie theme song) is so unintentionally funny it will make you weep.
There are just so many things wrong with Mike's cake:
pastel rainbow air-brushing (on a slant to add character)
plastic flotsam
actual ribbon
"Bday" instead of "Birthday" (the ultimate in laziness on a cake)
nearly illegible writing
Poor Mike...I think next year he deserves a cake from The Cake Boss to make up for this catastrophe!
I LOVE the sprinkles one.
Yes Norine, thank you. Focus on the positive! :) Not enough people do that in this world.
The actual icing scrolls and spelling and penmanship ("icingmanship"?) on these cakes is so nice, and we can be sure the cakes taste just as nice.
I think there must have been an experiment to grow the perfect baker and clone him but there was a humorous mix up in the lab and they replicated the duff model instead.
Sorry, Howlin' Mad Heather, but Kwanzaa uses only seven candles, for seven principles.
#1 Even though I know what it is supposed to say (and can see it if I stare at it long enough), I keep reading, "Rdoert Spidermmmm". I know I'm going to regret asking this, but might the candles represent a menorah?
#2 So what is the subject of this trust, hmmm?
#3 Maybe Chloe looks very mature for her age. You know, like five or six.
#4 "SpriNKLES ON IT." When are they going to move the caps lock key on piping bags some place where it cannot be hit accidentally.
#5 "ROY G. BIV, ROY G. BIV, you are needed in the bakery -- again." (audible sigh before key off) Maybe while he's there, he can explain what a bidet is, so we can finally retire that bogus contraction.
#6 How generous -- Stephanie gave someone a gift on *her* birthday.
omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't believe this was possible till i saw it.
I'm embarrassed for them!
The *facepalm* is strong with this one.
LOL!!! Thank you SO much for this post today! These are my absolute favorite ones and IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! :-D You guys rock my socks off! I laughed SO HARD!! <3
LOL guy on a buffalo reference! "Its a baby....awesome!"
Hey, Craig, if thank you notes came in cake, I'd be giving out a lot more gifts.
Zoomom, you must be rubbing off on me. Today, I keep hearing this wrecked Jim Croce song in my head: (sung to the wreckerator)
"If I could save time in a bottle,
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is save every moment
I wasted ordering this dumb cake!
Or, just throw it at you!"
While cake decorator #2 probably shouldn't have been trusted quite so implicitly, we do need to give him credit for some very nice non-sperm-shaped balloons. That is quite the feat.
Happy Birthday Jackie! I hope you have a Sunday-Sweets-worthy birthday cake! (And if not, and you get a wreck, I hope I get to laugh at it!)
I love the audacity of someone who requests 'happy birthday cake chloe' which in most circumstances we would call a wreck. And then complains when the no more ridiculous part of his message is also put on the cake.
And then, feels self righteous enough to send it in to make fun of the baker.
I hate people sometimes.
You have to give the baker of the second cake props for not misspelling "Arianna."
'