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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Dec202012

The End of the World As We Know It

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, and snakes, a crappy "plane:"

  

Santa Claus is not afraid:

 

 

Eye of a hurricane, listen to your tummy churn

 

 

yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda
yadda yadda yadda yaddda yadda
yaddayadda yadda yaddda ..

 

 (oh, thank goodness)

 

It's the end of the world as we know it!

 

It's the end of the world as we know it!

 

It's the end of the world as we know it!

AND I FEEL FINE.

 

 

Thanks to  Maria V., Kayla M., Teya, Lisa C., Debbie N., Jola S., & Frank M., who are off partying like it's 1999.

P.S. Yes, I KNOW the world ends TOMORROW, but since I didn't know what time tomorrow, I couldn't take the chance of missing it, now, could I?

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Reader Comments (89)

OK, I hate the Beebs as much as the next 40-something, but should we really be throwing acid on his face?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRamey

YUCK -- is that Justin Bieber made of ground beef and bacon? I wish we could see it after it was cooked.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJGMB

Ermehgerd, Berber Mertlerf!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterauntie meme

Bacon Bieber terrifies me.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Regarding the last cake:
Visions Of Yuletide (VOY) is something many people experience this time of year. An eager anticipation of festive times spent with family and friends fills the minds of the hopeful. However, as the reality sets in that friends are all away for the holidays and family members are actually just annoying, people often become infuriated with the disappointment. This is known as VOYrage. VOY rage is a serious problem that can only be overcome by increasing awareness. So please, buy a “Ban VOYrage” cake, and save your loved ones some heartbreak.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Is that.... Bieber loaf?

Also, I hate to say it, but Angry Santa is possibly the best CCC I've ever seen. Aside from the upside down writing. But that could happen to anyone.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

The Justin Bieber cake is actually not a cake...it's made with meat...right???

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrisfromParis

That Justin bieber meat IS a sign of the apocalypse isn't it??? D:

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Ugh...I don't know what that is popping alien-style out of that foot, but...urk! Shouldn't have looked at this right after breakfast. Also, mmmmm....Beiber-loaf. :\

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

I sincerely hope the Mayans are wrong -- I'm eligible for a new phone on the 29th... Still, my world ended the moment I saw Bieberloaf. *shudder, shudder* I don't even want to hear him, let alone ingest him. Now bacon may be sullied forever. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! (I LOVE bacon... *sob*)

Great song, Jen! I wish I'd thought of the "Yadda, Yadda, Humperdinck" technique. Maybe I'll try it tomorrow.

Or not.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The Justin Beiber meatloaf face will be burned in my brain forever. FOREVER.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

The End of the World

Why does my flight look so lumpy?
Why does dear Santa look mad?
Wrecker’s know it’s the end of the world.
They hope their work may not seem bad.

Why does my foot keep on bleeding?
Gold feet should be stabbing proof.
I guess it’s ‘cause it’s the end of the world.
Yada, yada, yada, roof. (Thanks, Jen. I had nothin’)

Whales in the sea float and wonder
Why they deserve such a dis.
They can’t understand, no they can’t understand.
They thought that they were better than this.

I knew Justin Bieber was Satan.
And love how his heads on a plate.
Ban Voyrage to this world that we love
If not now, then at some later date.


Apologies to Sharyn and country music fans and songwiters everywhere.
If the end comes at 12:01 tonight, bye,bye. I've enjoyed spending time with all of you when I should have been working but what the hell it's all over anywyay so what difference does it make if i lose my job, right ?!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Yay for the Bare Naked Ladies - a great Canadian group!

Retreating to my emergency bunker in the backyard now. See you Saturday. Maybe.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLesley

Hahahaha...meat head..aha...ahha

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Ahhh! You forgot the "Leonard Bernstein!" part of the song.

And what are the Biebs teeth made of? Cuz......ew.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

The Bieber teeth are extra creepy.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTDG

The Bieber meatcake is definitely Nightmare Fuel.

I guess in the next Omen rematke his name is Ryan instead of Damien.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Are those
REAL TEETH????

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNotMe

That Bieber meat thing is staring at me. Why won't it stop staring??????

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJL

REM! + Princess Bride! + Bieber in bacon = OMG that was a frakking great way to start my morning!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterezipper

hunperdink! humperdink! humperdink!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSigrun

Holy moly, looks like Justin stayed in the tanning bed a wee bit too long....

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter~Lori

Makes the whole apocalypse thing much easier. It will, hopefully, end the pain.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

In-flight tourniquet.
Blood pools beneath bacon-scalp.
Brace for corny smile.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I quite agree with the reference to the greatness of Bare Naked Ladies, however at the risk of beginning another Epcot (I've never been entirely sure what that means but I still have the feeling I'm about to start one) 'It's the End of the World As We Know It' was actually sung by REM.

Jen, if you get a million comments saying the same thing by the time this is published, feel free to delete this one!

Also: Bieber meatloaf. Ack.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Justin Beefer! But what did they use for teeth?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennyMcG

Can we see Bieber cooked?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Any chance angry santa was found in new england? I am hosting christmas dinner this year and that would be a perfect ending.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbelblue

Oh my goodness, Auntie Meme! I about died when I read your post! Best ever!!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Lynn

@Auntie Meme -- EXCELLENT
If that Bieber "cake" looks like that NOW....... try, if you will, to imagine what it will look like when..... COOKED.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@JennyMcG
Those teeth look like garlic cloves to me.

What would Archie Bunker think of that meathead?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercc

Even though the Bieber head is gross, it may be the best likeness of a human being ever shown on CakeWrecks!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary D.

SKIP TO THE END.

Thanks ever so for that. Needed some PB for a sucky day.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMals86

'Skip' segue: ROFLMAO-Brilliant! Thanks, Jen, for starting my day just right.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSirene

Just so I can prepare, will the end begin at 12:01 EST, or some other time zone?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

well, since the end of the world is supposed to be on the same day across the WHOLE world, it should actually be THAT DAY across the world. so my best guess would be the exact moment when it is 0:00 on one side of the international date line (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Date_Line) and 24:00 on the other side. practically, with the derivations of the IDL, it's actually three dates at once, but still that's as close as you can get to there being the same date on the whole planet. for some reason though i don't care to look up what time that would be where i live.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLcP

The eyes! Sweet Mary mother of Christ, the eyes!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Beef 'n' Bacon Bieber keeps looking at me, no matter where I move my chair relative to the monitor.

I'm scared, Mommy...

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I'm totally showing my 13 yr old Bieber loving daughter this post!
My guess on the "teeth" is either onion pieces or garlic cloves.

I really hope the world doesn't end tomorrow because I would totally miss all of you guys!

Hey Craig ~ Good call yesterday! You get an A for Epcot Effort! ;-)

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Apoca-lips
(apologies to Veggie Tales & Larry the Cucumber)

Me: If my plane ever tried to fly, I doubt it would; I’d start to cry
It’d be too bad, I’d be so sad.
Jen: I see – that’d be too bad, you’d be so sad.
Me: That’d be too bad.
My santa cupcakes are so mad, I must’ve done something oh so bad
It’s just too bad. I think I’m mad!
Jen: It’s just too bad, you might get mad.
Me: I might get mad.
If my cake said 666 or had a toe stabbed with a stick,
That’d be too bad. I’d call my dad.
Jen: That’d be too bad, you’d call your dad
Me: I’d call my dad.
Jen: Hold it! Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what you’re saying is:
Me: It tried to fly, I’d start to cry, Santa is mad; I must be bad, it’s 666, toe with a stick.
Jen: What IS going on?
Me: It’s the Apoca-lips! Beiber beiber made of meat, beiber beiber scary teeth, apoca-lips. Apoca-lips!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Is that bacon being used for Bieber's hair? Lmbo

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChickiegirl

@Caroline B, are you referring to the 'cake'? If not, do you know where I can get tickets?

#1 "I knew I should have been more specific when I ordered a plain cake!"

#2 I must point out that this one is upside down -- look at the text.

#3 Why some things that happen must remain a secret. Forever.

No.

#4 Can you draw the whale? No? Forget art school; you can be a decorator right now!

#5 The parents of the Ryan triplets (three boys named Ryan) knew this day was coming, and braced for the jokes. Finally, they decided to meet it head-on.

#6 Speaking of images that bring the number '666' to mind... And then there's the 'cake'. I'll vote for either onion pieces or Chiclets -- two things that must never be swapped.

Now, this creation clearly is deep-fried. The person who finds the baby Justin buried within has to run out and buy his next album, making this one of the least popular traditions of all time.

#7 Why is one of the 'carrots' uh, dripping? Why are they riderless? Could that be the source of the rage?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Just a quick question, is the Epcot bunker end-of-the-world safe? Because, if I'm going to survive the apocolypse, I want funny people there with me. Also, I love you all and if there's one thing we know for sure, it's that "Death cannot stop true love, only delay it for awhile.".
If tomorrow never comes, thanks for; the laughs, The Princess Bride references, and being genuinely nice people.
Under Neat that
BTWs Sam and Dean'll totally save the world...again...right?

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGenevieveDiggory

The problem with trying to calculate the exact time of this particular "end of the world" is that it has to do with planetary alignment and there are so very many of who feel that we, individually, are the center of the universe. This makes it tricky.

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

According to http://www.december212012.com, the exact time is 11:11 am GMT, and they even have a map telling you what time that will be in your time zone. Here is the web address to aforementioned map: http://www.december212012.com/faq.htm#1111

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA. Miller

First off, zoomom!! Yay! If the world ends, at least you'll be with us. Also, hehehe. VOYrage!

1. It's a bus with wings sinking into a puddle of...sky.

2. "Call me 'Jolly Old Elf' ONE more time!"

3. Is it just me, or does that look like the wooden handle of a wand poking out of that foot? Not enough swish and a little too much flick.

4. You know, if you flip it upside down, it's a better representation of the USA than what wreckers who are actually trying can come up with.

5. The subtler, gentler way to tell someone they are Hellspawn.

6. The picture: Wow! That is a lot of hair. It makes his head look gigantic. It's like Sputnik. It has it's own zip code. The meatloaf: Thanks to The Black Dog for calling it the Bieber meatcake. That, somehow, makes it all the more disturbing to me. : )

7. Uh, nice carrots.

I'd throw out a guess on what Biefer's teeth are made of, but apparently I can't tell the difference between cherry tomatoes and just plain ol' cherries! (yesterday's fruit cake).

Happy Thursday, y'all!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Was the whale and the "end of the world" a reference to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Weirdly, when I went to submit my comment, there were 42 already posted. Thanks for the fish!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

@ScaperMama, that was a wonderfully Wreck-y take on my favorite of all Silly Songs! Too bad you couldn't work in Aunt Ruth's beard. :)

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I'm thinking Adventures in Babysitting for cake #3, maybe??

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Gah! I meant 'its'! "It has *its* own zip code"! Sorry. I couldn't let that go.

@ScaperMama: Hahaha! Nicely done!

@Craig: That is a tradition that needs to be killed with fire, if only so I never have to see another Bieber meatcake again, nevermind buying his album!

December 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

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