Halloween Tips
October 30, 2012 Tomorrow's the big day, people, so before you hit the streets to go trick-or-treating, here are some useful "guidelines" for having a safe and scream-worthy night:
Never accept rides from strangers.
;)
Especially if you see fingers hanging out of the trunk.
Wear reflective clothing:
;)
Or just something so unbelievably hideous that people won't be able to NOT notice you. You know, like Crocs and a Speedo. (As a bonus: EVERYONE will want your picture!)
Watch out for roving gangs of lower-case Ms:
;)
They're vicious this time of year. VICIOUS.
If you're trying to scare someone, don't yell "Boo!" It's not scary enough.
Instead yell, "SCARY BOO!"
;)
It also helps if you can throw spiders on them.
Never assume you know what someone's costume is.
One person's Elvis is another's Dracula, and you really don't need that kind of awkwardness.
;)
"I vant choo to stay off of my blue svade shoos! Muah! Ah! Ah!"
ALWAYS SAY "THANK YOU."
Even if they give you crap candy like generic lollipops and little bags of candy corn*:
;)
*Actual candy we will be giving out on Halloween. Plus little boxes of Milk Duds. Y'all come by, y'hear?
And try to look grateful when you're saying "thank you," too - not like this:
;)
"This is my happy face."
Lastly, and mostly importantly...
BEWARE THE TOILET PAPER TERROR:
;)
He also goes by "The Spirit of Gasses Past."
Thanks to Carly T., Leah K., Catherine S., Chryss A., Kris D., Chris B., Brianna M., Denil B., & Jennifer G. for really wiping the floor with these wrecks.
Reader Comments (60)
It took me a minute of staring to realize that there's a hole on the Happy Face CCC where the "mouth" should be. I thought it was some kind of brown pickle or... I don't know what. But it was more scary than the cake itself.
Sure, I used sunscreen.
Why? I didn't miss a third
of my face again?
Alternatively:
Present your best face.
Spackle foundation smoothly.
Blending is the key.
How kind of Barbie
to label her chic costume.
"Dog." Clears up so much.
In all seriousness, DracElvis might be my next Halloween costume. I just don't know where I'll find actual blue suede shoes...and maybe a spangly cape?
Sung to “My Favorite Things”
Don’t ride with strangers on RIP Bussing
Don’t wear loud clothing that starts people cussing
Watch out for evil Ms flying in rings
That’s my advice on some Halloween things
Don’t snack on cookies with scary boo spiders
His name’s Drac-elvis (If you’re an insider)
Skip all the houses with candy that’s bad
Try to look grateful even if you’re mad
When the Spirit of Past Gasses
Starts to make you sad
Crack open a window and take a deep breath
And then it won’t smell… so…. bad…
I'm having a little trouble with the last one. I'm ok that he's a cheerful ghost. But what's with the ghostly parts that have fallen off all around him? And when I think it might be toilet paper, it's even grosser!
Too chilling!
"SCARY BOO!" Love it.
I don't think those are lowercase M's, just smooshed uppercase ones.
Aw, I think the vampire is cute and non-wrecky despite the Elvis hair.
Or you could yell "Scary Boo" and throw 1/2 a pompom with an eyeball at them. Probably be scariest if it's humping a spider web too. Just a thought.
and definitely stay away from the Elvis Dracula Pig! He'll eat all your Halloween candy and fried peanut butter, banana, & bacon sandwiches!
Mmmm. . . . candy corn.
That first cake is awesome, especially for what is obviously a grocery store cake--I want! Definitely not a wreck (though hilarious and strange).
@ Degera. Thank you for reassuring me that there's really not a pickle on there. But I'm still not eating it because in my mind there will forever be a pickle on that cake. Ewww.
These are very helpful tips. Thanks, Jen!
SCARY BOO!!
Oh, my daughter would *love* to come to your house! She insisted we get candy corn to give out (although I supplemented with chocolate and other less dairy-allergy-small-child-susceptible-to-choking-hazards related treats) and reminds me frequently that she gets to help give them out (but that we need to save some for her). She also loves generic lollipops. :)
Here I though Jen and John would be the ones handing out mini Sunday Sweets cakes at Hallowe'en...
HEY!
I L-O-V-E, love, candy corn............
:)
I am still laughing about the free cat rides.....it's almost too much to handle.
Elvis Dracula Pig looks kind of like a Star Wars Gamorrean guard. And I really hope this isn't Epcot by the time it gets posted!
I think the creepiest thing that I will think about all day is the ccc pumpkin face eyes. Did you see how one eye is staring at you and the other is looking to the left?! AUGH!!!!!!
Aw... I think the spider on the "scary boo" one is kind of cute. Mostly because he looks almost nothing like a spider. Real spiders give me the horrors. (That one scene in 12 Monkeys? You know, THAT one? I was in the fetal position for the rest of the movie.)
@Sharyn - my son is currently crewing "The Sound of Music". They're having a sing-a-long performance this Friday. May have to take your lyrics along. The back row group I sit with would have a blast with this! :-)
Vampire Elvis might be Bubba from the Sookie Stackhouse books. LOL
The first one missed the opportunity for Rest in Piece, heh. heh.
Jen, based on what you're handing out to the children, you might also want to arm them with this fantastic candy trading guide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wGdYhmFH-DQ
What the blinkety flip is that orange thing supposed to be doing? Laughing? Melting in acid?? That thing would scar my kids for life...
Anyone besides me look at the happy face cake and think "moisturize me!"?
Can that last cake be unrolled to roll-fondant the house and yard? Just hoping....
Sharyn - please pleaase please Jailhouse Rock = Graveyard Rock.
Elvis Dracula FTW! Best costume idea ever! Oh, if only I had more time! Oh, well, I have 366 days to prepare for next year.
I didn't notice until after Haiku Joy's poem about Barbie's costume label and I re-examined that cake - are those pieces of ORANGE FABRIC on Barbie's skirt?!!!? Because that's just nasty if they are. Inquiring minds want to know...
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought there was a giant pickle in the mouth of the orange "happy face" cake.
Evidently, when they're not roving in packs, the lower-case "M's" hang out inside a bearded clam...
I'm with Heather. I think the first cake is adorable. It made me smile, and I think it's pretty well done and creative for a grocery store cake. (Especially a dreaded CCC!)
And KatieCat, DracElvis would be an AWESOME costume!
We can't stop here. This is M country.
For you, gobbler… (I have been known to take requests…)
Sung to “Jailhouse Rock”
Drac-Elvis threw a party at the old graveyard
We caught the RIP bus. We were ridin’ hard.
Barbie’s skirt annoyed the Ms – they’re such vicious things
You should’ve heard ol’ Scary Boo Spider sing
Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock
Everybody here on Cake Wreck’s block
Was dancing to the Graveyard Rock
Drac-Elvis was a-slidin’ in his blue suede shoes
He only had crap candy, aw man, what a snooze
Lots of people thought the pumpkin had a pickle
The Toilet Paper Terror gave us all a tickle
Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock
Everybody here on Cake Wreck’s block
Was dancing to the Graveyard Rock
I think the orange happy-face is actually supposed to be a Jack'o'lantern cupcake cake.
I love the Scary Boo one. hahaha.
last cake = most ghetto Stay Puft Marshmallow Man EVAAARRRRR!
Awww, I like the Rest in Peace Bus.
<sigh>,,,wish we had candy corn here. I know what it is, but I've never tried it. I think it's awesome that you can get it in little bags to give out to trick-or-treaters!
did the 'hurk/snort' over the costume suggestion of crocs and a speedo! Hilarious. Would cringingly love to see it...
I don't think the first cake is a wreck, but the rest of them *shuddertwitchtwitch* definitely are. I think someone yelled "SCARY BOO!" at the spider on the fourth cake one too many times. It looks traumatized by the experience.
Thanks ladies for clearing up the fact that it's not really a pickle in the mouth of that "Happy Face" thing. I'm totally getting my daughter to say "Scary Boo" when we go to the nursing home tomorrow night!!!
Am I the only one with the sad "Lowercase n" song from Sesame Street stuck in my head now?
Wait, is that a spider on Barbie's dress?
I think the square pumpkin CCC looks upset because he has a "Boo Boo". It says so right above him.
I thought the mouth on the Mr Happy Face was a pickle too! Too funny and thanks for the daily laughs. I am sure my coworkers think I am nuts since I laugh out loud at least once or twice a day when I visit this website!
Thank you Sharyn .. a-bop, a-bop a doo wop a-bop :-).
@ Sharyn ~ I loved the first one but the second one takes the cake :)
"Cake Wrecks Block" LOVE IT!!! I was dancin' in my seat! And the part about the pickle made me spit coffee again. <sign> when will I ever learn...
Aw, the scary boo spider cake so reminded me of one of my favorite Far Side, scared spider toon. Anybode else remember that one? Two spiders on a twig, one spider with a paper bag on its head, the other spider with a long web trailing to the ground?
Barbie has evidently had some of the "prescription candy" if she's got *that* big a smile while a giant spider is crawling on her skirt.