Halloween Tips
October 30, 2012 Tomorrow's the big day, people, so before you hit the streets to go trick-or-treating, here are some useful "guidelines" for having a safe and scream-worthy night:
Never accept rides from strangers.
;)
Especially if you see fingers hanging out of the trunk.
Wear reflective clothing:
;)
Or just something so unbelievably hideous that people won't be able to NOT notice you. You know, like Crocs and a Speedo. (As a bonus: EVERYONE will want your picture!)
Watch out for roving gangs of lower-case Ms:
;)
They're vicious this time of year. VICIOUS.
If you're trying to scare someone, don't yell "Boo!" It's not scary enough.
Instead yell, "SCARY BOO!"
;)
It also helps if you can throw spiders on them.
Never assume you know what someone's costume is.
One person's Elvis is another's Dracula, and you really don't need that kind of awkwardness.
;)
"I vant choo to stay off of my blue svade shoos! Muah! Ah! Ah!"
ALWAYS SAY "THANK YOU."
Even if they give you crap candy like generic lollipops and little bags of candy corn*:
;)
*Actual candy we will be giving out on Halloween. Plus little boxes of Milk Duds. Y'all come by, y'hear?
And try to look grateful when you're saying "thank you," too - not like this:
;)
"This is my happy face."
Lastly, and mostly importantly...
BEWARE THE TOILET PAPER TERROR:
;)
He also goes by "The Spirit of Gasses Past."
Thanks to Carly T., Leah K., Catherine S., Chryss A., Kris D., Chris B., Brianna M., Denil B., & Jennifer G. for really wiping the floor with these wrecks.
Reader Comments (60)
Awww, I thought the spider on the scary boo cake was cute. :-D
Those Ms could actually be the crows from Hitchcock's "The Birds".
As for Barbie, Ken is likely pleased knowing that with a spider on her that she is still a "fresh" girl. (See sign behind her.)
Just want to send a HUGE THANKS for all the hard work you do putting together this site and all the updates. All those that are involved are amazingly comedically talented. I dont know how you keep the humor from getting stale, but keep up the great work!
I make a point to check this site every day. Please never stop.
I swear to Theardare: if I see Crocs and a Speedo tomorrow on ANYONE I am hunting you down and tp'ing your house. (shakes finger) Don't make me look up your address!!
I actually went back to see the pickle, scrolling along and thought "what the fern am I doing!" Therefore, I can still eat pickles.
I actually kinda loved the first cake. I give major points for the decorator's creativity and sense of humor.
Yikes poor Barbie. I would run screaming if a giant spider were crawling anywhere near me let alone on my clothing lol. Makes my hubby laugh but then he gets to take care of it so who is laughing now huh? Loving that RIP bus though I think it is sort of cute lol.
I do like the idea of the "bus of death!" But with a little less plastic.
@AJ
Laughed til I cried, and/or looked crazy to everyone else. I want some of that "presription candy" too, if I ever have a spider that large on me!
My daughter took one look at that candy corn and said "I don't get it. Oh. OH--that looks like...Frosty the Snowman got shoved in a shopping bag-mixed with Squidward's nose! I took another look and I have to agree.
If the last one had a sailor hat on, it could totally pass for the marshmallow-man from Ghostbusters, in mid-explode!