Hail, Oh Ween!

Sure, you could call it Halloween, but where's the fun in that?
SEE HOW MUCH MORE FUN THIS IS?
I'M SHOUTING BECAUSE OF ALL THE "FUN!"
"Haaloween?" Throw in an umlaut, and you've got Ikea's next bookshelf.
The only holiday that fills you with candy, but still leaves you empty inside.
Or something.
HAIL!
On a completely unrelated note, I'd like to point out that this is supposed to be an eyeball:
But you know how else you could make this look almost - but not quite - exactly UNLIKE an eyeball?
Like this:
Head, meet desk. Desk, head. Aaaand, repeat.
Thanks to Mrs. O., Jeremy C., Kelly S., Chickpea, Micheal B., Kat B., & Loni for helping us see eye-to-eye. You've been great pupils!
Reader Comments (62)
Happy Halloween CW crew and enthusiasts!
Yeah, the "eyeball" cake is, well, not quite there yet. Maybe if they add some sprinkles? And I personally love the "Lettering Done On Pick Up" cake. Just, epic. EPIC FAIL!!! :)
Love you guys, this blog, and Halloween!
(See, it can be spelled right)
The missing umlat
sobs on the cracking ice floe,
forlorn, unlettered.
Too bad. The pumpkin on the first one was really well done.
I also like the "Lettering on Pickup" one. LOL!
Maybe that last one is supposed to be a goat eyeball? A goat with allergies?
I love "lettering done on pickup" - OBVIOUSLY someone has been reading Cakewrecks, and thought they'd be smart and make the baker do it while supervised, because that way nothing can go wrong. Right? WRONG. The wreackators is always just that one tiny step ahead.
And these decorators have the right to vote.
Sung to “Dancing Queen”
You can trick, you can treat, having the night of your life
But that word, it’s so mean, you can’t spell Haloween
Wednesday night and the lights are low
Looking for a good house to go
Where they have the right candy, chocolate anything
You’ll come trick or treating
Every year that word makes you cry
Haaloween, and the moon is high
Eat a bit of rock candy, Holloween’s so fine
That word must be from France
So when you get the chance…
You spell it Hailoween, still not right, time to make a scene
Just give up, pipe the words on the order sheet (ooo yeah –ah –ah)
You can trick, you can treat, having the night of your life
Google it, time to learn how to spell Halloween.
Something’s wrong here, it starts to dawn
There’s an eye that some worms are on
Next one has two pupils, that just will not do
It makes you look askance
Each year you get one chance
For a fun Halloween, candy’s sweet, and you’re still a teen
Halloween, get dressed up and the candy’s free (ooo, ooo)
You can trick, you can treat, having the time of your life (woo, oo oo)
Sure they’re wrecks, but there’s cake for your Halloweeen.
Have a Happy Halloween, everyone!
@mindy1, and the rest of the East Coasters: Thinking about you, and sending well wishes (and a donation...)
Not in the least bit related. Today's Word of the Day: lycanthrope
Hehe.
Earlier Words of the Day this semester (because it is my duty to inform you of such things): logogram, lynx, laborious, litany, lurid, lachrymose, limpid, lichen, lumbago, lyrebird, lava-lava, legume, litmus, loathe, lemming, lightsome, leatherneck, lyric, lorikeet, luminary, laconic, languish, lungfish, loganberry, loll, lysis, libation, linden, lignite, lode, lavish, luff, ludicrous, laureate, lingua franca, and the ever-glorious lugworm.
The day one of my students ran up to me breathlessly in the hallway to say she saw the word "laborious" used in other class's textbook is a day I will not soon forget.
And now I feel like I'm really back. I *have* missed you all. Thank you again for the warm and kind words.
Since it is a holiday that originally was about saints, I think Haloween makes perfect sense.
But what is that on the Haaloween (or should I say Hääloween?) cake - are those little sperm ghosts?
Some of these looked fairly nice, not the eyeball cakes, but most of the others do, other than the writing on them. If the smiley sperm were ghosts and the inscription were fixed, that would be nice. Even the skeleton on the dreaded CCC looks really well done. My favorite would have to be the outdoor scene with the orange apples, strawberries, peaches? I don't know what they are, but they are definitely not pumpkins. And I'm really not sure why they piped a bright blue border on it. Even the disgusting, tooth-staining black would've been a better choice. Happy Haaloween! No, Happy Hailoween! No, that's not right either. Happy Holoween! Oh, darn it all! Happy Holiday!
LOL! Thanks for brightening up an otherwise cold and dreary Halloween. :)
"Throw in an umlaut, and you've got Ikea's next bookshelf."
HAH! Laughed so hard that I almost came unwrapped! See, I would have died laughing, but I'm already dead. Mwaa-ha-haaa!
I have to stop reading CakeWrecks while I'm eating; I always end up spraying blood all over my keyboard. Ehhehheh.
No, really, I cackle like crazy sometimes, almost throw a bolt other times, occasionally I even turn green and come apart at the seams, because this website is always a cauldron of bubbling fun.
Happy HailoHaalowHollowHaloHellowien, Jen and John! Thanks for all the hard work you put into keeping us in stitches. I make no bones about my love for CakeWrecks, especially when you get into the spirit of the best holiday…Halloween!
The Cravin’ (reprised, slightly revised, and with deepest apologies to E.A. Poe)
Once upon a late night, dreary, I walked into the bakery, weary,
Waited my turn and stared upon the bakery floor.
I was cravin’ cake when suddenly there came a tapping, as if someone gently rapping,
Rapping on the bakery door.
‘Tis another customer, I muttered, tapping on the bakery door,
Only this and nothing more.
Ah, distinctly I recall, it was late into the fall,
And I was standing in the mall, looking at the bakery floor.
Eagerly I wanted to go home, for I had no desire to roam
Around the stores, I wanted my cake and then to soar,
But I was stuck in line, could move no more,
So I still gazed upon the floor.
Then the baker called my number, rousing me from a slight slumber,
I went to the counter and stood before,
I pro-offered, “Here’s my ticket,” and he went into the back to picket it,
Went to the back through a narrow door.
I could see the boxes stacked upon the floor,
Boxes, boxes, nothing more.
Out he came with a great big grin, two cake boxes ‘neath his chin.
He placed them on the counter there and lifted the lids into the air.
Up flew the lids with quite a flourish;
Yes, he lifted the lids with quite a flair
And said “Take a peek at what’s in there!”
I did…then reached for a near-by chair.
My God, I stammered, nearly choking, surely this man was cruelly joking!
What The Frosting!?! I loudly shouted,
As I stared at the outrage there.
And in my mind I never doubted
That my order he had flouted;
I just stood there, and sadly pouted.
These are not mine, I simply said, though I think my protest went over his head.
My blood vessels shrank, went into restriction
As the horrors stood before me.
Was I not clear in my diction?
Do I speak with some restriction?
Do I have some speech affliction?
When I say that I want sprinkles, do you hear “a boy that tinkles”?
And what is all that big brown goo
Heaped upon that other cake?
What I said was a kangaroo.
Does that sound like “mounds of poo”?
Piles and piles of doggy-do?
My need for cake fled real fast as I stood there quite aghast
And dropped the cakes upon the floor,
Not believing what was in those boxes, like a plague of deadly poxes…
I had to leave, could take no more,
I staggered to the bakery door,
Get the cravin’….? Nevermore.
Hail Jen! ROTFL!!!! Loved all the puns today
(and Hail also Sharyn, Haikujoy and Mel!!)
Wow! That was amazing, mel!
A skeleton... with Happy Hollow ween? Maybe it's for an Osteogenesis (brittle bone disease) patient?
Brilliant, Mel! Loved it!
If the first cake had been a deliberate "Red v. Blue" reference, it would have been funny. Sadly, it wasn't.
Oh my God. That last "eyeball" literally made me laugh aloud. That is hilarious.
For some reason the second eyeball cake caption makes me want to make a cup of tea!
(LOVE the Hitchhiker's Guide nod!)
absolutely brilliant Mel!
That last eyeball cake reminds me of the time my dad tried to fry some eggs... did I mention that my dad can't cook?
@Mel, Sharyn haiku joy and everyone else, thanks for the laughs and well wishes :)
Sclera? More like SCARE-a!
Soooo, the skeleton... some of his bones are missing their Epiphysis... which makes them look more like, um, a different sort of bone. There's man parts all over that thing!!!
"Throw in an umlaut, and you've got Ikea's next bookshelf."
Best. Line. Ever.
The googly eyes in the second pic kind of look like an umlaut over the "o" if you squint hard enough and are also possibly in pancreatic shock from too much Halloween candy.
"Throw in an umlaut, and you've got Ikea's next bookshelf."
Oh my...I needed that laugh!
@mel: Love "The Cravin'" reprise/rewrite. Has it really been a year already?
I think the first eyeball cake is actually a retina cake. Seriously, search google for dog or cat retinas -- this cake looks a lot like the nerdy cakes my vet school friends make.
"Throw in an umlaut, and you've got Ikea's next bookshelf"
That made me laugh so hard.
@MiA -- A "Scary Boo" to you for penning what I also saw on cake #2 but with clarification. I see two slow but happy ghost sperm with a fertilized zygote that has already begun dividing to one day become to 2 identical ghosts.
I'm not certain if my second comment was sent --- possible hollow skeletons in my computer. But two members of the roving gang of lower-case Ms show up on the "Letterng Done At Pick Up" cake. Scary Boo !!!!
Anyone else see Cassandra from Doctor Who on that last cake? No? Just me? Ok then.
MOISTURIZE ME!
Well done everyone! <clapping>
Happy Scary Boo day! :-)
I really wish we had a like button for comments. Haiku Joy - awesome. Sharyn - wonderful as usual, but I did realize that I absolutely do not know the words to Dancing Queen. Wonderful job all around today :)
Well, you know, skeletons are hollow...
...I think I'm with those jack-o-lanterns on the second cake....those ghostly sperms are a bit too happy...
For some reason, I've got "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout" running through my head right now. I can't imagine where it came from...
Sharyn and mel, fantastic adaptations! Haiku Joy, glad that you're back! I hope those on the east coast are safe and sound, and have power right now.
On the 2nd cake: I love how the ghosts look happy and the pumpkins look sad
@Mel - I bow to you. I think Poe would be proud.
"Lettering Done On Pick Up" - hahahaha!!! I think that's my new favorite wreck!
Happy Lettering Done On Pickup to everyone!
The second eyeball cake looks kinda like a cell getting ready to split. See, the nucleus has duplicated already!
The Ikea bit made me giggle aloud.
Mel, if you came to my door right now, I'd give you all my Hallowee candy. That was a masterpiece!
Now we have sperm ghosts. I give up.
I thought nothing can surprise me anymore. 'Lettering on Pickup' just had.
*facepalm*
The last is a new 3D eyeball. Effective binocular vision for pirates and cyclopean beasties, like Mike Wazowski in "Monsters, Inc." Patent pending.
Bahaha, the third one looks like Jeff Dunham's Achmed.
...I see what you did there...I think. If it was intentional. Which I hope it was, because it's one of my favorite quotes.
"He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."
Going to say it. It's Halloween and yup, I'm scared. Guess what bakers...SUCCESS!
Another vote for the "Holloween" cake being Achmed the Dead Terrorist. If I had bought that cake, I would be so tempted to shout "I KEEL YOU!" at the baker/decorator.
Happy Halloween!! Well if the wreckerators don't get frightened by their own creations one day I am going to be shocked. I don't even know what to say to the cake that should look like an eyeball but instead looks like the invisible man needs some visine.. lol. Some of those cakes were kind of cute even if they can't spell halloween.