Monday
Jul182011
Aw, Poo
July 18, 2011 Let this be a warning to anyone nicknamed "Peanut."
"Howdy ho!""Let's see...we've got a big pitted clump of chocolate icing, and lots of red gel leaking out the cracks. What else does this cake need?
"Oh! I know!"
"Oh! I know!"
"More roughage!"(A pine tree counts, right?)
Suddenly, having my mouth washed out with soap doesn't sound like such a bad thing:
Giving new, literal meaning to a "sh*t-eating grin?"(Btw, I made sounds I didn't think were humanly possible when I first saw this photo. Kind of a hairball-esque gargle. It was horrifying.)
Bakers, when making chocolate seashells for a wedding cake, here's something to keep in mind:
They *do* make white chocolate.Bakers, when looking for a quick way to clean the chocolate sauce off your fingers, here's another thing to keep in mind:
Don't do this.
And finally: bakers, when attempting to entice your customers with a sweet chocolate treat, here's the last thing that should be on your mind:
Gnarly poop fingers.Of dooooom.
Thanks to Ashley/Peanut, Megan E., Tracey S., Kate M., Fabiola I., & Chani, who actually have a band named "Gnarly Poop Fingers of DOOOOOOM." In my mind. Where it's AWESOME.
Reader Comments (140)
At 8:45 I turned on the TV (something I don't normally do)and my set was tuned to “The Graham Norton Show” (a program I’ve never seen) on BBC America (a station I rarely watch.) I was just about to change the channel to something educational and/or inspiring when, WHOA!!!-Cake Wrecks. I guess I was just meant to see it. Mr. Norton, some British Celebrities not familiar to me, and I had a good hearty laugh (but only I felt like I was watching my friend on the BBC.) I think I’ll turn on the TV at 8:45 tomorrow morning and see what shows up.
BTW, I'm swearing off the chocolate after this post, so thank you!
wv: masyn These cakes today are really masyn with my mind!
Some of the worst ever...I think I'll skip lunch after seeing that last one. What were they thinking....?
the poop fingers look to me like large grubs. which might be even worse.>?
It seems there is another creature residing in Sponge Bob's mouth. Just looking at the last cake left a bad taste in my mouth.
Jackie
Oh, so yucky!
That wedding cake should be for the opening day of a water park. Their slogan? "Water slides so steep, they scare the crap out of you".
Really, though, I can't decide if those poo-shells look more like they are sliding off the cake, or doing some kind of zombie-crawl up it.
Gag reflex officially initiated. Good thing I was only thinking about eating breakfast and hadn't actually done it yet! Maybe my appetite will come back in time for lunch.
Oh God. The last one is going to haunt my dreams.
God that Spongebob one was disgusting. I think I made a noise similiar to yours when I saw it.
On the last one, I didn't so much see Gnarly Poop Fingers Of DOOOOOM! so much as I saw a pile of intestines laying all over a cake... that way it's poop *AND* innards all at the same time.
YAY! Breakfast time!!
or maybe not.
*mrphh*
Good grief, I can't even tell what that second one is supposed to be. It's like a pine tree sprouting from a volcano covered in hay. Or possibly wood chips (more roughage?).
Oh, those "fingers" look just like oversized worms of some sort! The only cake that has ruined my appetite, ever!
I thought the Sponge Bob cake was about as bad as it could be --- then I saw the other cakes... Don't these bakers have any idea what poo looks like???? Still, I'll never look at Sponge Bob again quite the same way...
I think I made those same sounds, ewwwwwww.
On a side note; you were on Graham Norton!! How did I miss that! Cool!
My dreams are haunted forever by the spongebob cake !
Hooray! Hooray!
I'm glad to say
It's final here --
Fecal Cake Day!
Gives new meaning to "what can brown do for you...."
wv-unded: that last cake looks like fingers from the unded...
I've followed/lurked your blog for a long time and never commented before but I couldn't stop myself today. Those Giant Poop Fingers of Doom are the most disgusting things I've ever seen on a cake and you've had some crazy ugly cakes. Thank goodness breakfast has been down for awhile because I gagged a little. Ugh.
I heat cake wrecks. i am so confused by the spongebob one! LOL
Those Gnarly Poop Fingers are down right intestinal!
D: I did not think it possible to make chocolate icing look unappetizing
Is the pine tree BLEEDING all over that cake? What a horror show today's post was--whether you see poop, or intestinal tapeworm type parasites (yes, I am looking at you, "Spongebob"), or giant slugs/grubs/intestines/sandworms. Urgh. (actually, after re-reading that list, the poo option actually seems nicer!) Double Urgh.
Cake #2 looks to me like a tree sprouting from a heap of bloody stool.
Cake #3: *gag*
Cake #4: Those... things aren't seashells, they are horrible, moist slugs slowly crawling towards the top of the cake.
Cake #6: *retch*
I can't decide if there's an infestation of grotesquely huge worms or if someone just piled some intestines round the cake.
Either way, it's disgusting. Worst wreck ever, in my opinion.
Just thinking of it brings back the nausea.
I am disgusted beyond, what I thought was, my ability to be disgusted.
Ew. Just, ew.
-Vstrong
Was repulsive what you were going for? I can't even keep my eyes on the screen for the last one...
Just, ew.
Just SuBee, I believe you have successfully cured my addiction to chocolate.
That last one had me staring at the screen, open-mouthed for a long time. :O
:O
0.O
Crazy stuff!!!
Gnarly Poop Fingers of Doom would make an AWEsome name for a rock band, dontcha think??
I thought the last cake was covered with haggis.
Please add a warning at the top of today's post that you should not read it with a full stomach. Or before eating. Or while alone. Or in the dark. Or before bedtime. It is quite disgusting. And a waste of good chocolate icing.
*happily eats her chocolate pudding*
Who on earth would purchase that last cake? Gadzooks!
oh hellafreakin' yuck.
First cake reminds me of how my sister-in-law used to always call my oldest daughter "peanut." Only problem was that my daughter always heard it as the word for a certain portion of male anatomy, and one day asked me why her aunt kept calling her that, because it was such a strange thing to call a girl.
My sister-in-law doesn't call her that anymore.
Why, oh why was i eating an apple when i first saw these? Almost put it down. (almost, because then i saw the sweet, and all was well ;) )
Someone needs to lay down the brown piping bag..and to actually take a break for a good 5 minutes at minimum, then look back again at their cakes.
wv: consu: Some wreckerators here should consu a eye doctor!
Why on earth would anyone use brown to fill in Spongebob's mouth? Why not black? Surely black would have been better...right? *shudder*
But seriously, you'd think that someone would have noticed that and thought that maybe spreading that around with a spatula might help just a little bit. But maybe that cake was doomed from the start.
WV: colieses
You probably shouldn't eat any of today's cakes if you want to avoid contracting a serious case of colieses.
I WAS EATING!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
I think SpongeBob took a bite of that last "gnarly poop fingers of dooooom" cake!!
Yeah, today's post has to be at the top of the disgusting chart. I think I need to go wash my eyes out now...
And @mel -- I about choked laughing at your comments!!
.
Everybody, climb on the Poo Choo Express! Howdy Ho!
*blech*
*looks at cakes*
*looks down at half-eaten lunch*
*looks at cakes*
*gingerly sets aside half-eaten lunch*
*flees the room*
I literally threw up in my mouth after seeing the one with the tree (second one?) These have to be the most disgusting poo cakes EVER on this blog. *shudder*
The last one MUST be a Princess Bride "To the Pain" cake. Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up...
First, when I saw it I cried "Dear God, what is that thing?"
Next, I spent some time wallowing in freakish misery.
Finally, it either IS a miserable vomitous mass, or it's well on its way making me one.
Besides, it looks like it's been mostly dead all day.
WV: expoo (I swear.)
That last one made me gasp - and gag. Ewww.
wv: monlited: I think these Wreckators must have monlited as pooper scoopers in the local dog park and then got their jobs mixed up.
Gag - Hork - Bleh - how many ways to say these wrecks are just sooo wrong.
Corgi Lover in Horace
To me, the poop fingers on the last cake looks more like large intestine. Who'd want an entrails cake?
And the ad showing up next to this post is for a fiber cereal :P
Ok, the last "cake" is obviously screeching eels. Everyone knows that. sheesh.
(MIghty unappetizing, though.)
Oh... oh my... oh gross!
That last cake is just so, so, wrong on so many levels.
I really think the baker/decorator responsible for that last cake MUST change jobs and spare everyone the torture of more such creations.
I think I'm going to be sick now.
I'm afraid these cakes have sent me into a brown study.
Sharyn - You are my hero. : )
Regarding the post - probably worst wrecks ever. Please pass the eye bleach. And the Pepto.