Monday
Jul182011
Aw, Poo
July 18, 2011 Let this be a warning to anyone nicknamed "Peanut."
"Howdy ho!""Let's see...we've got a big pitted clump of chocolate icing, and lots of red gel leaking out the cracks. What else does this cake need?
"Oh! I know!"
"Oh! I know!"
"More roughage!"(A pine tree counts, right?)
Suddenly, having my mouth washed out with soap doesn't sound like such a bad thing:
Giving new, literal meaning to a "sh*t-eating grin?"(Btw, I made sounds I didn't think were humanly possible when I first saw this photo. Kind of a hairball-esque gargle. It was horrifying.)
Bakers, when making chocolate seashells for a wedding cake, here's something to keep in mind:
They *do* make white chocolate.Bakers, when looking for a quick way to clean the chocolate sauce off your fingers, here's another thing to keep in mind:
Don't do this.
And finally: bakers, when attempting to entice your customers with a sweet chocolate treat, here's the last thing that should be on your mind:
Gnarly poop fingers.Of dooooom.
Thanks to Ashley/Peanut, Megan E., Tracey S., Kate M., Fabiola I., & Chani, who actually have a band named "Gnarly Poop Fingers of DOOOOOOM." In my mind. Where it's AWESOME.
Reader Comments (140)
mainecooncat: I was OK until the very last cake...then I snorted so loud my husband heard me in another room
that last one looks like intestines on a cake...eww
Shannon
these cakes totally helped turn off my chocolate cravings. Thank You wreckers.
I'm so glad that this post came on a Monday so that I could quickly ease my gag reflex by scrolling down to Sunday.
That last one is SO disgusting. They look like big, fat, nasty intestinal worms. Or just individual sections of an actual intestine.
second one: refried beans, ketchup, and some parsley.
LOL!!
"Cake #2 looks to me like a tree sprouting from a heap of bloody stool."
This was...like...the crappiest Cake Wrecks EVER! I'm sure I'm not the first of the 107 to say this.
wv: matterso - How it looks doesn't really matterso pile on some more brown icing.
That last one is... there's just no excuse for anything that... ugly... gross... wormy... Seriously.
I've lost my appetite. EWW
Sharyn @ 12p: You took my very thought on that last cake. A very loud, audible gasp followed by "Dear God, what is that thing?". I sincerely cannot understand what the baker had going through their head thinking that that cake would sell.
Ewwwwwwwwwww that last cake and the Sponge Bob cake are going to give me nightmares tonight. Why oh why don't they see that brown frosting usually turns into evil looking turds on cakes? Either the wreckerators are blind or think the customers are lol.
That last cake really got to me...Gag!
wv: Versh
Zees are dee versh cakes I have ever sheen...
I have a title for the second one: "Murder in the Woods." It just kept ringing in my head while I stared, befuddled, at such a bizarre creation. I'm assuming that the cake was done via a request, otherwise the decorator might need a psych evaluation for homicidal ideation...
As for the poop fingers, all sorts of other horrible analogies come to mind, including that it looks like small, limp poop penises. If you look at them that way, you might start to actually feel sorry for them.
Oh, yew .... That last cake reminded me of the tauntaun that Luke Skywalker crawled into to keep warm ... Urp.
Forerph - the noise my stomach made after those evil poop cakes.
...I used to be a fan of Spongebob.
I can't ever look at him again without thinking of "s***-eating" grin.
And you know what's terrible? I have a big pile of chocolate looking morosely at me right now
That last one is so horrifying. They don't remind me of poop fingers so much as pinky mice or maggots.
CARPOphagist? Whoops.
Made cake for coprophagists.
Smile. Who will notice?
wv: hypes
These photos gave me the hiiiiidey-ho hypes. Will wash behind my ears, kid.
I don't know how I managed to find Cake Wrecks, but I'm so glad I did...the video "Happy Falker Satherhood" reeled me in (and woke up my weekend guest to my laughing uncontrolablly), but the poo...the poo captured my heart! Thank you a thousand times, thank you!
Thank you haikujoy for your haiku. Love the first one, especially how you spelled scatturd!
wv: braortio - after eating a bad braortio and helping Jen with this post, John had to take a nap on the couch with Lily as a but warmer.
Usually when I see gross looking cakes on this site, I tell myself, "It's just frosting. I could still eat it." But not this time! I could never even touch one of those poop fingers of doom.
The poo smear cake looks like a toilet after a little boy has gone poo. I think you might be able to figure out why I know that...
EEEK! these are some of the worst things yet, all the poo chocolate is making me sick.
Now I won't have to worry about lunch, I've lost my appetite, so thank you.
Spot the Eddie Izzard quote! :)
The gnarly fingers kinda scared me a little!! The rest made me gag!!! Ewwww!!!!!
OMG that last one looked more like large worms or intestines than poop! I think I lost any appetite I had for the year!
Since I'm interested in losing weight, Jen, I seriously thought about printing out a copy of a pic of that last cake and posting it on my fridge. I lost my appetite and began feeling a bit nauseous when that hideous pic came into view, so it would definitely keep me from raiding the fridge. However I don't think my husband would appreciate a pic of a cake covered in frosting depicting raw sheep intestines constantly in his direct line of sight. I've seen bugly cakes a plenty here, but THAT ONE literally takes the cake!
All I can say is that SpongeBob is mostly face. He has very little room for innards, so that smile must be his intestines.
wv. Plarygoo -- Or that smile could just be plarygoo
my reaction to the last one: MY EYESSSSS!!!!
"NO you IDIOTS! I said the customer wanted a SHEET cake! A SHEET CAKE! What about that did you NOT understand?!"
Those aren't fingers. They're the awful worm things from the movie Tremors! ::shudder::
See the condensation forming in the bubble on the second photo? It's getting ready to rain in there. What you've got there is a poo-cake ecosphere!
The picture made me ill, the band name made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Ugh! That last one seriously made me nauseous! Yuck, yuck, yuck!
I took five minutes to read all the comments. I didn't stop laughing once. I am SO going to recreate the gnarly poop fingers of dooooom for my brother's birthday... it would be so much better than my mum who gave her brother a 'Stinking corpse lily' for his birthday (the dog ate it).
Sponge Bob with poop mouth - incredible.
WOW! There's NOTHING like a white cake with SKID MARKS....maybe we should be grateful!!!
I was enjoying some roasted red pepper hummus until I saw this...
I have never been so close to throwing up as I was after seeing these cakes and I've been back reading every post since the beginning for months now! These are the worst! I'm going to feel sick every time I see Spongebob and I used to love him!
Pretty sure the last one might've been a poop cake. But at least the ones we sell actually look like poo because they use candy corn, plastic flies, and wadded up pieces of tissue paper.