Sharks Bite
September 25, 2010 {Welcome back to your favourite prime-time brine crime drama- "Crab Cakes: Ocean Justice!" Before the commercial break, Crabtown was faced with its most terrifying nightmare yet: Someone drank all the coffee! But something more frightening is just around the corner...}
"If I move, he might see me."
"Yummy fish in belly time! NOM NOM NOM."
"No one escapes my disturbingly mutated claws of justice!"
"Sheriff, look out! There's another one behind you!"
"Hahaha! You'll never escape us! Come here, ya' old chum!"
"That's IT. I'm not taking any more guff from these sharks! C'mon, Crabtown! Let's kick dorsal fin!"
"Your pitiful confidence is no match for my razor-sharp teeth... OF DEATH!"
"Oops. I crabbed my pants."
"Well, our Sheriff will show the sharks who's boss! Won't you, Sheriff? Go on. Tell them!"
"..."
"Sheriff?"
"Don't worry, guys! I have a sure-fire plan guaranteed to make those sharks leave us alone! FOREVER!
"Hey, sharkies! Say hello to my LITTLE FRIEND!" [whipping out photo]
"His name is Mr. Snuggly Buns."
[sniffle] "That's the saddest thing I've ever seen! Please, no more! We're leaving, I promise! C'mon, guys; I hear the west shore has some real cream puffs."
Whew! That was a close call there, but the Sheriff and Pickly Pete saved Crabtown once again! Tune in next week when we find out: Who drained the community pool? Where in the world is Crabmen Sandiego? And what happened to all the potato salad?!?
Rolling credits: Jacquie G., Alana G., Sara G., Meaghan I., Amy T., Michelle N., Tina A., Amy C., Jen K., Sara H., and Kati D.
Reader Comments (78)
The "crabbed my pants" line got a genuine bark of laughter out of me.
The cakes are just bad ... but YOU, sweet Jen, make them awesome! Thanks for starting my day with a chuckle! Poor little Pickly Pete :)
My son was looking over my shoulder at these cakes, naming what he thought they were. 6th cake down, he calls out "Angry mud!". Yeah, that's about right.
"old chum". I can't STAND it! Thank you for the first laugh I've had this morning!
Crabmen Sandiego! You are cool. :D
That was a masterpiece...
Oh, my.. Jen, you made my day. Easily. Like you do every day. :) Your insanity amuses me greatly. Those cakes though....YEESH.
Loved it! As usual.
Disturbingly mutated claws of justice. Awesome!
Ahh, so happy to stop in and find a Saturday post!!
We all need an inner voice such as Jen. (ok, speaking for myself - I need it) Love the storyline!
Photo phish #1 - I thought Dr Suess had something to do with it. Seriously.
Photo phish #9 -- c'mon, that's just the cutest ccc I've EVER seen. Seriously.
'Crabbed my pants' -- ok, can't stop laughing!
Poor little Mr. Snuggly Buns. How does a hedgehog break both front legs?
@ Jasry -- I think most of the 'crabs' are "angry mud!" Spot on, your son is!
Now, for those shark bites... I was thinking "Cool!!" when I saw the first one. "Great shark week cake! I'm going to have to do that one!" Dang it, Jen, you've spawned a wreckplicator!! Seriously.
~~Di
the bandaged hedgehog made me sad.
I laughed until I snorted at the "I crabbed my pants" line LOL And the hedgehog picture? Mean, just mean :)
Jeez, what happened to Mr. Snuggly Buns?
Thanks for the Carman sandiego reference!!! That was one of my favs growing up!!
"Oops, I crabbed my pants". I'm dying here!!!! I nearly snorted coffee through my nose! That comment might actually be funnier than that entire sports-game parody a while back! Thanks for the unexpected Saturday pick-me-up.
"I crabbed my pants." BAHAHAHA!!! :D
That was awesome.
The "oops I crabbed my pants" made me almost PEE my pants! hahaha
Loved the Crabmen Sandiego...
wait... #3 isn't Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force?! That's a dang good accidental Meatwad...
Too fun! But from the title of the post, I thought this was going to be a tribute to that soon-to-be classic on the SyFy Channel tonight, "Sharktopus." Now *there* is a cake I'd like to see.
I don't understand why so many people's cupcake arrangements end up looking so sloppy. I'm sure there are seasonal "patterns" as guides, but do they have to end up looking so sad? Also, I don't imagine red store icing tastes any good at all. So, those crabs are a double no-go.
~~~~
I just clicked on an ad from your site. It was for Cricut Cakes. I looked at the site, and it's really cool....but kind of in the way that digital photography is cool. I like that it's accessible to everyone, but, in a way, it takes some of the....something....out of good hard work. Crazy! I know. Like a century ago when white whites were a sign of diligent housekeeping, and not just a result of having access to the newfangled washing machine. That said, I'm not a snob, or one to hold up progress (because, you know, I hold that kind of power). Just nostalgic?
urine trouble, Jen, for the puns but at least I only fished my pants not crabbed them!
-Barbara Anne
I love Crabtown crimes! And that hedgehog is so over-the-top cute-but-sad. Love it.
Is there some kind of publication these bakers read every month that results in them all creating the same hideous designs?! The shark mouth is hilarious and awful at the same time.
Hysterical.
Thank you.
Mocking
Wow! That was totally worth waiting the 11 minutes for all those pictures to load on my super-snail dial up!
Amazing dialogue for such interesting....(yeah...let's play it safe with interesting) "cakes".
I have now found the best line EVER to use when my husband is eating a crustacean. "Oops, I crabbed my pants." Perfect. Just perfect. I love you guys.
"Crabbed my pants"
That was good, very good. XD
Aww, that poor little hedgehog =(
poor ickle wee hedgehog - ah!
these bakers sure could do with some basic drawing lessons
whatever is that last cake? beware of the blob?
Poor wittle hedgehog. You always make my day.
Awesome post, especially the "crabbed my pants" bit, but those of us who are very squishy-hearted need the backstory and (hopefully) happy-ending resolution regarding the poor wee CutieFuzzyMcBooboo!
Thanks Number 1 for another great post.
My 14 yr old son and I laughed out loud throughout the whole post!
ROFLMAO! " I crabbed my pants!"
Dude, a lot of those cakes look just like meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
I think it's pretty clear those aren't crab cupcake cakes, those are artistic renditions of Meatwad from ATHF.
Am I the only one who thought "old chum" was a joke??!
Woops, I crabbed my pants reading this!!! Awesomely wrecky post today! Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Awesome. Just awesome.
Hahaha, Crabman Sandiego!
in their own special way i thought these were ok looking
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought the third cake looked like Meatwad from ATHF. At least he had a pretty looking flower stuck in his head. :)
awesome cakes...if you want to be scared!
Anyone else that played WoW that find those "open mouth sharks" look like Yogg saron?
glad to know that im not the only one who thought that was meatwad! go meatwad!!
"Oops. I crabbed my pants!" would make a great t-shirt.
If this had come out about eight hours later, it would of course have been the Saturday Evening Post.
#1 What's this? A CCC, that's what! (I didn't plan it, but the wording just happens to fit the rhythm).
#4 A decorated wheel of bleu cheese? Now that's what I call unappetizing.
#12 The realism is amazing, and not a cupcake in sight. The tie-in to the aquatic theme is... Spiny Norman, nemesis of Dinsdale *Pirhana*. (ba-dup!)
You made me want a hedgehog even more! HOW DARE YOU?! And they're just not legal here....
Jen,
"Oops. I crabbed my pants."
ROFLMBO. Too good. Too good.
I can't make heads or tails of the hedgehog cake - is it actually edible?!
Hysterical post Jen! Love the "crabbed my pants" line.
But I was hugely distracted by the intro--"favourite"? Since when did you turn British?
Oh NOW I get it--you've gone Canadian on us!
I wouldn't have known what the subsequent "shark" ones were had it not been for the recognizable #2 cake. Someday you should do an "evolution of a cake" sequence with the same cake design attempted by various wreckerators, ranging gradually from glop to recognizable, to competent.
I just met a professional baker today; she will be my roommate on a trip to Cambodia and she said of course she reads Cake Wrecks: it's her favourite site and all bakers dread being on the site--except on Sundays.