This Calls For a Par-Tay
September 24, 2010 
And I love cake! We should be friends. No, you can't borrow my yellow boots. Yes, I know they're awesome. No, sorry, you can't "just hold one for a minute." Hey, what are you...are you smelling my shoes?!? Dude, this is getting kind of uncomfortable. You know what? How 'bout you just give me my slice of cake and I'll go eat it in my cubicle?
Here's a storyOf a lovely lady!
(everybody, now!)
Who was something something very lovely something!
Something something...something...
something...
.....
AND THAT'S THE WAAAAY WE BECAAAME THE BRADY BUNCH!
Alright, maybe some of us don't remember the Brady Bunch that well.
Perfect for blind dates.(The visual is in case they happen to be illiterate. Or Canadian.)
And once the honeymoon's over, there's always this handy design to let your mate know exactly where s/he stands:
Or, in this case, sleeps.It's kind of a mixed message, though, don't you think? I mean, I'm in the doghouse, but you're giving me...cake? (Granted, a vile cupcake cake - ptooie!- but still.) Hmm. Yeah, I've thought it over, and you know what? I *still* think those pants make you look fat. So THERE. And I hear there's a sale on sheet cakes today. Just thought you should know.
And speaking of repeat offenders...
If loving your favorite gun enough to celebrate it with a cake is an offense, then call me not guilty. (I prefer cannoli. Unless it's an automatic, of course; in that case, I go with the more traditional JELL-O Jigglers.)
"But, Jinn," you're thinking - because now you've confused me with a bottle-dwelling genie, or maybe that guy on LOST - "Jinn, I don't *have* a favorite gun to celebrate! Or any gun at all!"
Well, my sadly confused friend, never fear; no matter who you are, or what you're celebrating, I've found a cake that will truly go with any occasion:
It's like a one-size-fits all.Assuming the "all" is one person, of course.
Thanks to Alison D., Becky K., Sondra D., Kasey R., Laurie R., & Mia L., Mia L., Mia L., who I believe are all Canadian. And I love them. In fact, I love Canada. I love Canadian stuff. The fact that I've chosen to make Canada my knee-jerk nemesis for this post is really just a reflection of my deep-seated love and respect for this country and its people. 'Cuz they can take a joke. And won't, for example, hunt down errant bloggers with packs of wild meese. (That IS the plural of moose, right?)
Reader Comments (128)
The gun one is completely appropriate. Who doesn't want flowers and guns together?
Personally, I would buy a cookie that said Marsha Marsha Marsha simply because it said that, but then I was raised on the Brady Bunch.
Is the gun edible? That's a handy idea - just eat the evidence!
"Or Canadian."
What the what?
(The visual is in case they happen to be illiterate. Or Canadian.)
Hey now - that's not nice. As a Canuck I take slight offense to that. :(
I have to admit, I would have loved that soup can cake when I was 5 and asked for a tomato soup cake for my birthday!
Do I detect a reference to the "drinking out of cups" animated bit there in your special-thanks-to section? Whether or not you meant to, it made my day.
Hey, now, don't be Hosers, eh! We Canucks can totally take a joke.
Personally I'm a bit worried by the blood pooling under the shoe.
WV: phissedn. I suppose the shoe cake would be worse if the shoe had been p(h)issedn.
Careful on those who can release the wrath of meese on you...
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
Girlfriend ---- you ARE feelin' frisky this morning. There will be Brady Bunch singers, Canadians, moose, and foot fetishists all wanting to Epcot your...um...butt. ( I was going to use "a" word but butt seems more family appropriate..oh nevermind. Note: am now randomly mushing words into one word for fun. Tryit.)
As for Campbell's tomato--there will always be somebody at the table enquiring if they can get the reduced sodium version!! Bleech....
After seeing that doghouse, am I the only person who is now singing "He's in the Jailhouse Now" (from the Soggy Bottom Boys)?
I am in awe. The diversity of cake afficianados out there is inspiring.
I also like the firearm cake. But, hey, I'm an American with a NRA membership. Lynyrd Skynyrd puts it best "God & Guns". It's what this country is founded on.
*scratching head* Always thought of meese as plural for mouse, not moose. (yeah, mom had some odd grammatical sense) Our plural of moose is 'moose and squirrel'.
Good thing there was a pic with the crabby cake... I wasn't sure what it said. Lousy icing writing and all that, eh?
SO happy you decided I need the Brady Bunch theme song floating in my head for the rest of the day. Yeah, REAL happy. NOT!!!
~~Di
Oh, and if you're handing out the drinks... pass one my way, please?
My husband totaly LIKED the gun cake. (in sing song voice) I know what he's getting for his next birthdaaaaaay.
Ground red glass in my shoe? Nice! Oh and, "Here's the story
of a lovely lady
who was bringing up three very lovely girls
all of them had hair of gold like their mother
the youngest one in curls
here's the story of a man named Brady, who was busy with three boys of his own..."
I can't remember my cell phone number but I remember this
ha ha ha! Guns-N-Roses
Kay, I wasn't singing that song until you mentioned it. Before that, I was singing the theme to "The Brady Bunch," because I totally remember it (and am willing to sing it at the drop of a hat. Or even if the hat doesn't drop...or if there's no hat at all, really.) Being a BB fan, I also know that the Wreckerator misspelled "Marcia."
Oh, my.
However, I do like the Marsha, Marsha, Marsha cake. It is groovy. On the other hand, Ms. Brady spelled her name "Marcia", so I guess it is a wreck.
I'm pretty sure the plural of moose is "moosen"... as in, "I saw a flock of moosen!" per Brian Regan ;)
I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the concept of a tomato-flavored cake. I can't say I'd like eating a cake baked with tomato soup. That would be even a little too strange for James Lileks' "Gallery of Regrettable Food".
Chicken noodle soup-flavored cake would be even worse.
I can see the shoe cake possibly being done for someone who is in the Krewe of Muses (the only all-women nighttime parade at Mardi Gras) - our signature float is a red shoe.
Granted, I could do a MUCH better rendition and hope to for my Krewe sisters! :)
@ Dubs: LOL
@ Jen: As a Canadian and very recent fan of your blog, I'm really not sure how to take that...I'm sure you didn't mean to be insulting, but I haven't been reading your blog long enough to 'get' where you were going with that comment!
I can't believe stores sell this crap! It must have been, give a bagger a shot at the bakery position day. Especially the condensed, condensed soup can. Proportion does count!
Packs of wild meese! I think your commentary about Canada just made my day!
The revolver cake surely must be for a shotgun wedding.
So that's a condensed tomato is it? No soup? Actually the whole thing looks a little condensed to me.
@ Dubs: I love the Monty Python line, it's one of my favorites.
Every time we see a moose, that line works its way into the conversation somehow.
Pardone moi, madame, but Canadiennes do not pute an "e" at the ende of everie worde. Certainmente not crab!
I thought meese was the plural of mouse? Or was that meeses??? Now I'm even more confused!
Was the fifth one supposed to be a veiled reference to Guns N' Roses? Because that's just sad.
Now that you point it out, it's interesting that the actor went from Jin to Chin. And he's still in Hawaii.
Wait, "Marsha Marsha Marsha" is an obscure line? Crap, I'm getting old. I think I need some cake.
(The visual is in case they happen to be illiterate. Or Canadian.)
Hey, Im canadian and I love America as much as the next person (in fact, i love the USA so much, some call me un-patriotic! hah)
but even I know that canadians are just as stupid as Americans! :)
Canada may just be USA's "hat" but without your hat America, you would be lost!! :)
I can't speak for my fellow Canadians but "Oh noes you dinn't". After all, legible cursive frosting does trip people up - does that say "Crabe" or "Crabs"?
Any Canucks still feel edgy? Here, I made some Brownies!
I know I know I know!!!! The doghouse CCC (Ptooie) IS the punishment!!!
Just a thought...you may now resume your day...
Aw, Canada. We only make fun of you because you're like our little bro.
Incidentally, ever seen this cake recipe before? http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/tomato-soup-cake-i/Detail.aspx
It sounds absolutely repulsive. :3
I'm Canadian, and take no offense. Keep the laughs coming!!
I love shoes as much as the next girl...but wow!!
A joke about shoe-sniffers. This is why I love cake wrecks. My first few years using the internet was an eye-opening experience for me. I was astonished at how many creepers crawled out of the woodwork once people could communicate anonymously. But what really boggled my mind was how many heels introduce themselves with opening lines declaring their pointed interest in shoes or feet. *shudder*
I think the gun cake was for a meeting of the Guns 'N' Roses fan club. Sorry. It was too obvious not to say. :-)
WV: tionge I'm tionge to understand the logic of the wreckerator.
the doggy house pic made me want to eat cake..
OMG Shoes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HjIljJd-o0
LOL. Now, that is obsession...
Its totally morbid, but if that gun was in better proportion, I would like that cake...there's something wrong with me.
Is it really a cupcake cake if it's just individual cupcakes arranged into a shape? These are not slathered together by a mass of icing mortar, after all.
WV: cisyndin. I got nothing, though it seems like I should be able to come up with something really good...
The Brady Bunch started in 1969 and ran until 1974, so it's more '70's than 60's!
Perhaps that cake was for a shotgun wedding! :)
Bwahaha.
Okay, in our household, if you're Canadian (or Australian, French, a New Zealander, etc.) it's like an automatic pass.
Ohh, you like [insert offensive viewpoint/taste/beer name/etc]!?! Ohh, well, that's okay 'cause you're Canadian.
I wonder whether the Crabe cake is flavored with Old Bay spices? That would be unique.
As a Canadian I'm going to pretend to be angry about that, and write a strongly worded letter.
ZED.
Seriously, that's how it's pronounced.
Now that that's over, I feel much better...Although for some reason i'm now craving tomatoe flavored icing...
P.S. Please make fun of us Canadians more. We like to belong.
Another Canadian who can take a joke. And got a chuckle out of the extra 'e'. Spot on. :P
I'm totally an illiterate American because I thought the crab cake said "crabe" as well. Its pretty godawful ugly anyway, no matter what it says.