Five Awesome Things
April 15, 2010 [UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]
Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:
Yeeeeah.Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.
Ready?
*pulling up happy pants*
Here we GOOOO!
Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!
Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.
Uh...Noisemakers!
I love noisemakers.
Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.
Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.
Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!
Oh, crap.[thinking]
[thinking]
[despairing]
Ok, I think I got it:
You tell me.
I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]
Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.
Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.
- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake
[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!
UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
Reader Comments (2218)
The marble cutting board is really quite nice, and a very hygenic choice. They say marble and glass cutting boards are best when cutting anything that may contain bacteria as they do not suck up the juices as traditional wooden ones would. Thank-you wreckorator for your consideration.
ps. this is my first time commenting and I'd like to say I love your blog! Thanks for the smiles every morning :)
its so shiny, its awesome!
Hey at least we know that the baker's regular. 'nough said!
uh... lots and lots of chocolate?
There is no telling what's inside so it's like a present, see. Like the presents my baby leaves in his diaper. And presents are awesome, right? right? Well, the "decorator" should be very proud to have made such a huge pile of shiny awesome present.
Amy Peeples
The Piéta is hidden under all that melted chocolate!
Warm regards
Hazel Woodward
South Africa
I think it's awesome that someone had the positivity to look at that and think, "let's put it on display and sell it". You don't see that kind of glass is half full positivity much these days. -Kimmy Metcalf
The last cake looks like it was a wreck that was covered in chocolate, because chocolate makes everything better, or at least it does in theory...
Totally Awesome!! Look how shiny it is!! And who's mouth doesn't water at the sight of shiny goo oozing down a pile of "cake"!
Ha, I just discovered the 1000awesomethings.com website yesterday and spend the entire evening reading about awesome things. Truly cheered me up, as does cakewrecks.com
Has anyone seen my elephant? He's been stopped up lately...... :p
It's big! Cuz when we make, we all want to make it BIG, right? It just really takes the pressure off(to...perform), yeah, it unloads a great weight from...you. And remember, making it big is awesome!!
All I can say is PARTY POOPER!!!!
~Amanda
That cake looks like a child made it...and children are cute, especially babies. Babies are awesome! So yeah...
--Julie R.
It's the Blob! The Blob is eating the cake!
The sheet of shiny chocolate perfectly covers the real horror that was underneath. - Linda S.
Oh, that marble slab really cooled off the icing just enough to make it coagulate at the bottom in a "nice" pool.
--Liz Brueseke
No better way to celebrate good colonoscopy results!
Beth, aka Batwing
what's awesome about this Wreck is that it reminds me of the palace Willy Wonka made for an Indian prince -- after it started melting
Evelyn IN ESTONIA :-D
(thanks for the shout out, which made me smile on a day I really needed it!)
It looks like there's a lot of molten chocolate. And nothing with that much chocolate could ever be bad, right?
Clearly this "cake" is modern commentary modernism. Its subtle. Its profound. Profound is awesome! Call the MOMA.
That is an excellent stool sample! Perfect for an in-service workshop on identifying and collecting them for tests.
Oh! And the high gloss is terrific. The waterfall cake could really benefit from this technique
Absolutely has to be the lovely glossy sheen!
Um.... That is some seriously glossy chocolate ganache. And who doesn't love chocolate ganache?
Ever hear the expression "You can't shine "S*%#"? Well, aparently, you can. Mythbusting is awesome!
I enlisted help from my creative 11 year old. Her verdict is "shiny cow poop". That's the best we can doo....I mean, do!
Not sure what's actually underneath that melted chocolate. Dead kittens or the bakers impressive used bandaid collection. Either way, it's been generously covered in chocolate so as not to offend the senses of the delicate. That is good. A good job.
My name is Jenn. That is also good.
Shiny is awesome !!!
The mirror behind it is very clean, and reflects that super shiny surface very well! I'm not sure how they got that mirror so darn clean! I mean, that mirror really sells it - and must have, because someone bought it, right?
It is so shiny and billowy like the rolling mud hills of Ohio... I just want to hop on it and take a slide!!!
In the top right corner of the last cake is a thermometer. Thermometers help to make sure that you don't over or under cook your food. Thermometers are awesome!
The frosting is shiny
I like the way it drips...
So what if it looks like
it came from a hiney..
Let's cut it in strips !
K. Witt
It's very shiny!! Shiny is pretty!!!
I noticed that 'shiny' has been used a lot. What is truly wondeful is that the shininess has hidden the extremely dull, small gap in the left corner that will uhh... secrete out wonderful, AWESOME chocolatey... stuff.
Yummmm....melted fudge on a lump of cake with a wonderful slab of marble for the board.....AWESOME! Someone has GOT to make me one of these.
- Michelle Tucker
I'm kind of hurt that last cake made your list. It looks suspiciously like a cake I once made that, while tasty, did wind up looking like a pile of runny poo. -Lina
Wow that Exlax worked awesome!!
The last cake: What a lovely ant hill! Look, it already has a little hole for the entrance! Now if they could have added real life ants, it would have even been more awesome!
Nami "the tsu"
That last cake is very reflective, so you could check to make sure your hair was ok, or that you had nothing stuck in your teeth. Clean teeth are awesome!
Jen Spaeth
Brown is the new Black this season...this cake couldn't be more vogue
Wow that Exlax worked awesome!!!
Looks like something I would make;)
That Pile of cake is so Fluid, and the way the frosting just slides all over the place? It has great internal flow! We all know having a good deep movement is *drum roll* AWESOME!
Is that a Dr. Pepper cake or a DUMP cake?? No poo intended!
That last one...It's so shiny! And sooooo realistic! Who knew a cake could look so much like the real thing.
I hope I win!
Michelle Stay
Oh, goodness, that last one nearly made me sick. I'd love to see what the waterfall one was meant to look like - I love the concept.
~Lily Cole
Well hey, in that last one they've managed to make brown shine. That can't be an easy feat.. Right? Right... ?? :D
The marble cutting board is awesome! Also this cake makes me never want to eat chocolate again and losing weight is awesome!
When you clean off the marble slab, it'd look great in my bathroom. That is, the dirty one that no one ever cleans. Yeah. >_>
Well, it makes the other cake in the photo look AWESOME. This is a selfless cake, to sarifice itself on the alter of hideous, poo-pile replicas to help the other cakes glow by comparison.