Five Awesome Things
April 15, 2010 [UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]
Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:
Yeeeeah.Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.
Ready?
*pulling up happy pants*
Here we GOOOO!
Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!
Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.
Uh...Noisemakers!
I love noisemakers.
Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.
Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.
Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!
Oh, crap.[thinking]
[thinking]
[despairing]
Ok, I think I got it:
You tell me.
I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]
Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.
Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.
- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake
[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!
UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
Reader Comments (2218)
I feel sick after looking at some of those.
Marble Slab! The cake is on a marble slab and they make fantastic ice cream. That, fortunately, looks nothing like that cake.
At least they finished off that icing that was about to expire!
I'm not so sure I want to eat another cake...ever!
The icing is smooth and shiny! Must have been really easy to push out of the tube.....? Sincerely, Sara Michelle Weinman
The frosting is shiny.... shiny is good! - Lori S.
A raccoon would love that last cake... They are the animal that loves all things shiny, right?
It's a chocolate covered bee hive!
Lori K
the Krew
That's an "awesome" marble cutting board!!
Kelly
It's so shiny! That's a good thing, right? Right!?
Well, it was obviously put on while warm ... and it looks really shiny! Shiny is good! And warm icing never hurt anybody.
What a nice piece of marble tile! I bet it wasn't even on sale!
The marble board would look empty without it
Well, it looks like there is a lot of chocolate. I love chocolate, and lots of chocolate is Awesome.
Hmmm, well... it's made with chocolate, I think, and my wife tells me that chocolate is awesome no matter what it looks like... I really hope it's chocolate.
(Michael from Lancaster, PA)
I still prefer a Feces-C to a CCC.
I don't mean to be anal or anything, but the uncovered spot at the bottom really chaps my....well, you know.
Rachel May
What a shiny glaze on the last cake. You know, it's very difficult to produce this type of result.
Hmmm, well... it's made with chocolate, I think, and my wife tells me that chocolate is awesome no matter what it looks like... I really hope it's chocolate.
(Michael from Lancaster, PA)
Awesome... that cake is awesomely shiny - and the marble cake board is pretty nice, too!
That marble slab is so clean! Wow it's really hard to keep the chocolate from oozing all over your plate/base. That took real skill.
Carol - looking on the bright side.
That last cake would be GREAT for my diet. Hey...That's a positive right?
One word: chocolate. Nothing could be more awesome.
Wow, look! There on the side! It must be the door to a mouse house. Having your house be made of cake would be AWESOME!
being able to make a cake for the 10th annual skat lovers convention & getting it perfect is awesome!
-Liberty
Chocolate is always awesome
It's so SHINY!
What I really admire about this cake is that, tempted though the baker may have been to just stop, put her feet up, and, er, take a load off after dumping icing over the top, they instead actually took the time to smooth it out in places and arranged it with lighting to give it a special "glistening" effect. A for effort.
You know what's awesome about that cake? It's chocolate. Mmm.
- Eleri C
It must have been free, and free is AWESOME!
Well, it's just so very shiny. If only they had polished the marble to match...
This entry reminds me when my brother's fiance' tried to make cupcakes and they looked alot like that last image there...delicious tho!
Flavia A-N
Look... It's Shinny!
Wow, the corn cake really works quickly, that's awesome!
it looks fresh, moist with a nice gloss!when you live in South America that is a good thing to look for ...(and no worms)
whoever "made" this sure has great balance!! Not a plop out of place...
I love the Matterhorn, at Disney, and this cake is awesome because it is a chocolate replica of the Matterhorn, with a little door for the mouse that runs the ride. Awesome.
That's the shiniest pooh I ever done seen!
That cake has the most awesome rich chocolate shiny icing eveh!
Mary Vogel
The assymetry! The sheen! And, really, nothing says "awesome" quite like assymetrical sheen. Awesome! (My name is Lynnette. Or you can refer to me as Cherish These Days, my blog title.)
It's shiny! That's awesome, right?
"Bring me the semi-melted head of the nazi from Indiana Jones on a marble slab!"
See how nicely the dog kept his business on the marble tile? I mean, that's one well-trained pooch!
Torie P.
The way that icing glistens in the light is simply awesome!
I think it is awesome that there is a little cave door into the chocolatey goodness...and a slight hint there may also bee honey in there. Totally awesome!
Jan Bost
They way that icing glistens where it catches the light...so AWESOME!
Today I sit at my computer trying to be happy but I have dragon scales (Shingles). I have replaced every crumby thought with a sweet thought. Seeing the noise makers made me realize how successful I have been (Oh pooh). Thanks for your website. I need it today. Lorrie the porcupine
It shines in the light! Shiny things attract idiots and an idiot will eat the cake and it'll be gone. That's pretty awesome...
Donna D. Brown
Without a doubt the most UGLY looking stuff I've seen in a loooong time! Yuck lol
Why would you mock such a touching tribute to the mud-pies of childhood? Needs some gummy worms though.