Tuesday
Jun232009
Celebrating the "Yes" with a bunch of "No"s
June 23, 2009 There are usually a lot of weddings in June, so I know you're getting sick of all those perfectly lovely wedding and engagement cakes by now, aren't you? [patting your hand] Well don't you worry, dear; that's what I'm here for.
First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.
"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:
While others like adopting fun new aliases...
Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:
"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)
Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:
Aaaeeeeiii!!"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."
Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.
(I've always wanted to do that.)
(I've always wanted to do that.)
- Related Wreckage: Hey Nurse, Slip Me Some Tongue!
Reader Comments (134)
That disembodied hand is a little off. Er, alot off.
Ew.
The hand cake! Argh. Though it is a well-done severed limb.
I so saw a cake for you yestertday. A badly done grill with plastic shish kabobs. If only I'd had my camera.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
HOLY SNIKEYS! That last one is HILARIOUS! XD
Holy crap. I vote no more engagement cakes. Ever.
I'm the first commenter...yippee!! The hand one is definitely freaky....don't think I'd want to eat that. I LOVE your blog...it makes me smile daily!!
Bwaaahahaha! That creepy hand cake made me laugh out loud! As for that green cake - well, it's gobsmackingly awful. A most unappetizing colour.
holy crap that is creepy...
Marry Me or Else????
WV: kedge (v); to frost to a depth of 1 inch or more.
"Madge, be sure to kedge around the side of that CCC. We don't want them to know we built this from cupcakes."
That last cake looks like the future Mrs. Thing decided to take a page out of Chidi Ogbuta's bridezilla handbook.
You know what would make that hand oh so slightly less creepy?
Nail varnish.
Actually, thinking about it, NOTHING would make that hand less creepy!
The last picture of the severed hand is one of the worst ideas I think I have ever seen. It's right up there with the pregnant and real baby cakes. Thanks for the daily laughter, I love your posts!
that last one is actually pretty good...if your into horror and dismemberment
Those are some short and stubby fingers on the hand cake. You'd have to chop my fingers off at the first knuckle to get those proportions.
No matter how bad my day is going or how tired I may be, your comments to all this stuff makes it that much better. I usually end up laughing out loud at some of the things that you write, my coworkers think I'm crazy. Thanks for being that small amount of joy in my day. It really means a lot to me. :)
Is it just me or are the fingers oddly short on that dismembered hand? And did they drain it of blood like Dexter's brother did to his victims in season 1? That just makes me think that she is dead, not just missing a hand. But then the fingernails would each be painted a different color.
Severed hand accompanied by "Your Day Has Arrived"...
Crikey!
The "alias" cake should be cross-posted over on The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.
Not only is the severed hand fascinatingly horrific but the disproportionally small fingers really added to its pizzazz!
That severed hand is just ridiculously creepy!
wow, that last one is a doozy! thanks for providing me with daily belly laughs that i have to disguise from my coworkers.
Hmm. I thought the chocolate one said "Congratulations OR your engagement..." Which will it be?
that hand is extra creepy!
Ah! The hand is straight from the Addams Family!
And would I be a wreck myself to say I actually liked the cake with the big gem (minus the incorrect spelling and messy handwriting).
Oh, and the quotes around the name were perfect.
fun stuff,
"Kelly"
www.yourbestwedding.blogspot.com
As a shower treat, my mother-in-law, picked up a "royal" ice cream cake. I'd send you the photo, but it was only a wreck to us. The decorator managed to spell both of our names wrong. You'd think as mother-of-the-groom, she'd be able to tell the store what to write.
Oh my gosh! That hand! Is that Thing from The Addams Family??? Creeeepy! And that green mess of misspelled wreckage...sad. just. sad. don't they do some form of screening when they hire bakery workers? And look for things like...oh i don't know...a high school diploma? they should require spelling exams in the application. lame.
First, ACK to that had....then....
I bought a cake wreck for Father's day (on purpose). I shared it on my blog, if you want to check it out. (don't worry I sent them this way!)
http://babystepscottage.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-intentionally-bought-wreck.html
Hey, did anyone tell you? You got URL-checked in the July WIRED (pg 64) alongside http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com which I think is fantastically appropriate. Congrats!
Allison (@whenwill_love)
HILARIOUS!! the "ransom" one was priceless.
With this ring, I'm asking you to become Mrs. Stubbyfingers.
OMG, The 'hand' cake is just so perfectly horrible...I mean it is really, really horrible.
"Your Day Has Arrived"... for what? For a hand transplant? Is that supposed to be the donor hand? Ewwwwwwwww!! What a creepy cake!!!
Oh, my, I may have nightmares about the hand cake. It's really a pity about the pink and green one, though. It's almost a sweet, except for the ridiculous misspelling. I don't mind so much when a grocery store cake with that nearly inedible icing has a misspelling, but a really pretty cake like that just breaks my heart.
I say we hunt down the person who started these CCC's (Pitooey)and storm their house with pitchforks and torches. Okay town, are you with me?
You just know that people were lining up asking for their favorite digit with that severed hand cake.
The CCC ring get even wreckier for me when I start wondering if they really needed that many cupcakes. Who's supposed to eat them all? I suppose this is for a bridal shower, but with The Question it seems like the wannabe groom feels like he needs to stuff cupcakes down his intended fiancee's throat in order for her to say Yes. On second thought, I'd say yes to a man who feels the need to overindulge in cake (although a little more thought into the cake wouldn't hurt ;)).
Mmmm, that strawberry one looks yummo!
The green one looks gross, and the hand is frightening!!!
Becky
That hand will haunt my dreams. (extra creepy since it looks like gauze @ the wrist)
@Carrie,
Whoa girl, ease up on the mother-in-law. You've got her for life now too you know. You're going to have to learn to play nice in that sandbox.
Nothing says "We're so happy for you" like a bloodless, severed hand and an ominous warning. Maybe she's marrying into the Mafia?
The dismembered hobbit hand is too disturbing. "Bobby, would you like a finger or a thumb?"
~Gwen
Nothing says "Congraduations" as well as a corpse-like severed hand atop the cake.
They got that dead look down perfectly, too.
~Amy B.
But... it's green. I know it is spelled wrong. But.... it's green. Ewwww.
omg the dismembered hand! I love how the cuff looks a bit like a gauze wrap and the hand appears to be drained of all it's life. Must have sounded like a much better idea than it turned out to be.
You know, it really is a shame about that second cake with the big gem. I agree that it was actually a very pretty cake until someone ruined it with horrible writing. There is no excuse for that green monstrosity. And the hand cake? (Shivers) It really does look like gauze at the wrist.
I am so happy to say that I've never seen CCCs at any of the bakeries around here. Must be a regional thing.
Do you think they saved the middle finger from the hand cake for someone special, like the mother-in-law to be?
*ducks*
The hand cake reminds me of a fish wrapped in newspaper being sent in "The Godfather" to announce a violent demise of someone...a commentary on marriage perhaps ?
Wonder what the bride-to-be thought of it ? And if she was not amused, what happened to the persons who made ordered and made it ?
Love that last one, but in regards to wanting to say "Engage" at someone aloud...your nerd is showing! But don't worry, you're in good company because you can bet your triquarter that I said "Engage" out loud in a flawless Piccard lilt... and did the point.
Love the site - thanks for the daily laugh!
I especially like the n's on the chocolate explosion cake, written so they look like r's
Congratulations....OR your engagement. YOU ONLY GET ONE, you "fake people"
Jen, when you made the Picard joke, I think I fell in love with you a little bit.
Proposal by cupcake cake? No thanks. I was old fashioned and used the "squish bugs" method. (I started to get down on one knee but had to move positions so as not to go down in the middle of a swarm of ants! ;-) )