Tuesday
Jun232009
Celebrating the "Yes" with a bunch of "No"s
June 23, 2009 There are usually a lot of weddings in June, so I know you're getting sick of all those perfectly lovely wedding and engagement cakes by now, aren't you? [patting your hand] Well don't you worry, dear; that's what I'm here for.
First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.
"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:
While others like adopting fun new aliases...
Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:
"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)
Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:
Aaaeeeeiii!!"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."
Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.
(I've always wanted to do that.)
(I've always wanted to do that.)
- Related Wreckage: Hey Nurse, Slip Me Some Tongue!
Reader Comments (134)
I think everyone else has voiced my thoughts on the cakes themselves. I have nothing of value to add on that front.
I have to say, however, that I absolutely loved your closing line. *geeky happy dance*
Creepy!
That last cake is scary! And "vomitable"....
At least they were considerate enough to bandage up the bloody stump!
Just had an incident with a knife and my hand, so the last cake made me jump a bit. And then I began to laugh...how sick is that cake?!
The last cake is WAAAAYYY too creepy! They could have at least made the hand a bit more feminine...? And painted the nails a nice pink or red or something? UGH...
DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/
Did anyone see Cake Boss last night with the crazy bridezilla who ruined a perfectly beautiful cake?? Oh, my heart ached (mostly that someone was marrying such a horrible person).
Why is the "diamond" on the CCC completely iced... But the "ring" cupcakes iced individually? I will never understand the CCC decorator ~Carrie~
The hand cake is particularly disturbing to me. I just couldn't look away (even though I wanted to). I think perhaps it's the perfection of the hand - the nails are juuust right, the bones protrude juuust so off of the hand...
CREEPY!
Keep it up! The amount of wreckage you continually find never ceases to amaze me!
Long time reader, first time commenter,
Kelsey
As a jeweler, I find these especially painful!
Putting aside the ironic note to the cake, that 3rd one looks really good... Mmm...
Did anyone notice that the Hand cake looks like it is plam up but the fingers are plam down? Or is it the lighting in the photo?
Since we're discussing spelling errors, I think the correct spelling for the scream of horror at discovering a severed hand on your engagement cake is "AIIIIIEEEEEEE!" (Capitalization and number of "i"s and "e"s optional.)
It looks like a possessed hand in which the fingers have spun 180 degrees. 'Cause isn't that the palm of the hand underneath?
"Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:" ROFL!
As I recently got engaged, we were thinking about doing a small get together to celebrate with friends, but these cakes have put me off.
Especially the CCC. *Shudder*
Eloping never looked so good...
I am choking back a laugh at "Your day has arrived". It's so thriller-killer action movie-ish! Like something Arnold would say as he holds a bazooka on his shoulder. Daaaang.
And poor Amanda better be marrying into the green after a cake like that. Bleech.
wv - redid. One hopes the wreckorators redid these orders free of charge
The last one is hysterically awful. The severed hand is bad enough but "Your day has come"? Wahahahahahahaha.
my friend's comment when i showed him--
"all I can think about is Tom Lehrer's 'I Hold Your Hand in Mine'"
I'm going to have bad dreams tonight.
HAHA. I heart this blog... I spent hours here the other night laughing and trying not to pee my pants while my husband kept raising eyebrows at me.
I'd agree with everyone about the hand cake, but coming from someone who made herself a "Norman Bates Sinking Marion's Car in the Swamp" cake for her 18th birthday... well, I can't really say anything.
Lol, these are ridiculous.
Wow, that dismembered hand is Something Else. I'm glad my friends aren't that 'creative'. Eesh.
all that hand cake needs to be truly creepy is slightly different lettering. you know, the red dripping blood letters used for horror novel covers?
YOUR....DAY....HAS....COME!!! Mwah ha ha ha!!!
I love that last cake!!! [in a grim reaper voice] "Your day has arrived!"
Hand cake....most.disturbing.ever.
at first, i was just staring in disgust at that hand.
then i thought hey, at least its not a foot.
seriously though...ew.
wow that hand one is pretty creepy. lol
Jenn
HOW DO I DRAWED HANDS?
Did anyone else notice that the hand has the fingers on upside down?
that last one is rather scary, I have to agree. Wow.
alright, it's bad enought that there's a disembodied hand on it, but check out the little note. "your day has arrived" or "your time has come" or "mwahahahaha!"
Ok, the hand one is several many different kinds of creepy. The cupcake one reminds me of the wedding I went to a couple weeks ago. The 'cake' at the ceremony was, I kid you not, several boxes of cupcakes. Not even homemade ones either. Store bought, with price stickers still attached and all.
WV: phalverg (adj); uncomfortable or otherwise awkward.
"Seeing the baked potato bar and cupcake 'cake' at that wedding made me feel very phalverg indeed."
"Your Day Has Arrived"?
Cut-off hand and thinly veiled death threat aside, that's a pretty damn offensive message. Unless maybe you are a gay person who has been waiting for the law to change. Otherwise the sugary subtext is...
Congradulations Miss Desperate! You're plan worked! You're previously meaningless life is now imbued with validatation!
I'd rather get a poo-themed CCC.
Regarding the hend:
It looks like wreckerator reversed the pinky and ring finger. Maybe the ring only fit on the pinky.
It's also classy how they hide the index finger and thumb under the daisy. He/she must have grown tired of marzipan manicures.
@ Emily - No I didn't see the show, just the commercial. But I hope he charged her the FULL amount for the cake she ruined.
@ amo ( amanda) No it's not thing from the Adamms family. It's the... ummm..."girl"...he proposed to. LOL
That hand is creepy. Worse than that football player's head.
Somehow, after seeing the last cake, I have The The's "This is the day" stuck in my head.
Now everyone repeat after me, one word at a time, very slowly, in a low-low tone....
"Your
Day
has
come" *add raspiness here*
Moving on I wonder who decided it would be a good idea to put a glass doorknob on a cake?
your commentary on the hand cake is hilarious!
btw, we celebrated a graduation AND an engagement the other weekend, and tempted as i was to write "congratulations on your graduation and engagement", or "congradulations (misspelled on purpose) on all this new stuff you're doing", we went with "happy engraduation." i thought you might like that.
The alias cake looks tasty! Oooh! I didn't know thing from the Adams Family got married!
anybody see the sienfeld episode about man hands?
It doesn't matter how crappy my day has been, I can always count on Jen to make me laugh tell I need to change my pants! That's why I only read this website at home.
OMG...."engage" does Patrick Stewart say that word in your head every time you read/hear/write/say it too???
I thought I was the only one.
That cake is so funny.
T. aka bigcityguide.blogspot.com
uh, was that second pic one of those crystal doorknobs?
that hand cake will give me nightmares for years to come ... i'm fairly certain my answer would be 'NO' to anyone who would present that cake to me ...
Aaargh, the last one is terrifying!
EEK! This makes me glad I never had an engagement party! Yikes!
http://cakedreamer.blogspot.com
For everyone complaining about the short, stubby fingers on the last cake--I finally found a cake that has hands that look like mine--well, except for the better manicure on the cake. Much better than those spidery things on the pregnant belly awhile back.