The Twilight of Our Discontent
April 27, 2009 Unless you've lived under a rock for the past year or so, you know about the vampire lust phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before a bakery, in an attempt to appeal to the "I'll buy anything with Edward Cullen on it" crowd, decided to recreate the iconic book cover on a cake.
So here's the cover:
Aaaand here's the cake:
I'll give you a moment.
[whistling]
Ready? Back in your chair? Good.
Now, can I appreciate the irony of a vampire cake that sucks?
Of course I can.
Do I mind that the apple is now a red bell pepper?
Nah, not so much.
Would I still like to know what the Wreckerator was smoking when s/he made those flabby-yet-disjointed amoeba arms?
[nodding] Yes, yes I would.
Kelly L., I know you have a stake in this, so I hope you won't be cross when I say looking at this bite-sized sucker is making me downright batty.
[bowing] That's five! Five puns! Mwah-ah-ah!
Reader Comments (233)
"Now, can I appreciate the irony of a vampire cake that sucks?"
Oh and the puns...very punerffic!
Cake needs a stake driven through it's ermmm bell pepper. The burn the remains with all volumes of twilight ever published.
Plus the cover is a total look-a-like on totallylookslike.com, for a christian book.
Oh I forgot...black icing..blue poo for everyone!
wv Proust...ahhh literary genius soiled by the presence of Twilight. My apologies Marcel Proust.
My husband so graciously pointed out that if you look at it close enough, it looks like someone shoved a bell pepper up someone's backside. Nice.
Oh gods as much as I think that series is a waste of paper........HOW COULD YOU INSULT THE COVER?? I don't care if it's attached to a bad book, at least have a cake rendering of such a lovely cover look nice! And just. . .*headdesk*
My husband said those arms look like a pair of feet! LOL
So a pair of feet holding a red pepper...yeah, that says Twilight to me!
Twilight sucks, and it makes me angry that my age group is eating it up. This cake makes me want to stab my eyes out.
this deserves no input from all twilight fans you know its a good im sorry the best story ever told no need to tell ppl who cant read how good a wast of your own breath move along if there wasnt any ppl who dont like twilight then we would all be smart and thats no fun so let there be idiots and let there be twilightersLOL! If this is an example of how "smart" Twilighters are supposed to be, then I am so glad to be a so called "stupid" non fan.
I'm so glad that a Twilight wreck made it to Cake Wrecks!
OMG - all that black icing!
as for Twilight, I prefer my vampires to ACT like vampires. Which means I want them to consume other humans. I don't want them to "fall in love" with dumb teenagers. If I wrote Twilight, Bella would either be dead or undead in the first 1/2 of the book. And my vampires would not sparkle.
The cake is a wreck, no two ways about it.
I'm more disgruntled about is that there's this argument over how good/not good the books are and how lame the readers of said books are. I've read the books, they're definitely not the best literature I've ever read (of course that's just my opinion).
What should be a bigger concern is that young people are being bashed for being interested in books. Regardless of how irritating the whole fan base has become and how bad the books may or may not be, kids are reading and are actually excited about it. What would you rather them do? What power these books must have if the kids would much rather set down their video games and walk away from their computers to read a book.
Please forgive my digression, but I would go as far as to say that the books work to stimulate the economy. The Twilighters have to have not only all the books, but the calendar, the t-shirt, the jewelry, and multiple versions of the DVD. The books are being made into movies which give people jobs and support the Forks, WA area. The movies sell tickets and even more merchandise.
Whether the books and movies are good or not is not for me to say. But hey, if the kids want to read, then that's okay by me.
"Dad? Can you pull over? I feel carsick."
As for Twilight, I haven't read the books. I don't know, I just don't get the vampire craze.
http://leastlikelytoblog.wordpress.com/
OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am laughing so hard at this! I love it! That cake looks exactly how I feel about the books! I have not read them, but I love that cake! I would buy it!!!
BTW, Lestat would eat silly sparkling Edward for breakfast! (sorry just had to plug my favorite vampire!)
HAHAHAHA! XD
I think it was made as some kind of sweet sweet revenge for some girl the cake maker knew going on and on about the absolute hotness of Edward :P
Maybe through windscreen wipers.
Cheers
Laura said...
"This cake bites...THEN it sucks."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
PERFECT!!! LOLove that!
>^~~^<
those are some very vein-y arms, too
Holy crap.
This is the first cake that has disturbed me enough to comment.
I am a Twilight fan! Loved the books and the movie. Can't wait for New Moon's debut in theater in November. That being said, I decorate cakes. And while I'm no professional, I could have done TONS better than that!
Oh, my. That is just bad. So bad.
*sigh*
But the puns restore my sense of happiness and well-being.
i dont see why everyone seems to be criticizing the cake.
whoever made it would have seen this as an achievement and im quite sure none of yous and me included could make a different one
it's more like a va-j-j after giving birth o_o
I am just wondering if it is a Red Velvet cake???
As for Twilight, I am 30 years old & am almost done with the 1st book. I love it! It IS more for a teenager, the no sex, alcohol, drugs thing, but I am now a FAN! AND I am reading my mother's copy! Hey, if it gets all those teanagers reading, instead of watching TV, I think it's great!!!
To all the idiots bashing Twilight lovers/haters...do you like every single thing your best friend likes? I think not. Do you bash them everytime they have an opinion? If so, you're not a great friend. Grow up & let others have their own opinions!
A crappy cake for a crappy book... Appropriate!
I'm with those who saw legs rather than arms. Unfortunately, I was reminded of the infamous claddagh cake.
I have read the Twilight books, and I had mixed impressions. On the one hand, the writing is technically well-done, and she has an eye for characterization and dialogue. On the other hand, the moment-to-moment life of a teenage girl, told in relentless first-person perspective, is not relished by large numbers of people who are not teenage girls.
I don't see much wrong with calling a spade a spade. Yes, people work hard and put a lot of creativity into their books. But let's be honest. Not every artist is a Picasso or a DaVinci. Many artists work just as hard and are perhaps even just as skillful, but they produce campy, contrived, hackneyed pieces that are meant to have commercial appeal and lure a certain segment of the population. Yes it's still art, technically. But a whole lot of it is trash art. And before you slam me for saying so, I happen to make a living producing trash art in the way of pinups and posters.
But I believe it's important to discern between good literature and trashy novels, fine art and trash art. There's no shame in loving trash, I certainly do. Just know the difference and don't elevate trash just because you happen to have a taste for it.
Sacrilege!
You know, I would like to see this cover reproduced by the person who did the French-flag-nails-alien-hand belly-cake. They seemed to have a pretty firm grip on vampire style and paleness. It should work out perfectly!
Congrats on the 5 puns. Aim for more next time!
I have two words for you:
Mormon. Vampires.
Pun-O-Rama!
OMG--I completely go with the whoever called it "birthing a red pepper". I laughed so hard I thing I pulled something!
To Agatha:
Saying it doesn't matter what kids read as long as they read is like the mothers that say "let the kid eat candy all day , at least they're eating". As adults in our society we have a RESPONSIBILITY, yep I said it, a RESPONSIBILITY to feed our children and our youth the best there is, physically, emotionally, and spiritually in order to raise them up to be the best that they can be.
Whether or not the sales of such items "stimulates the economy" as you stated is a ridiculous rationalization. I would rather encourage the youth to become excited enough about something more edifying and "stimulate the economy" with purchases related to that.
We as the adults of the world do not have to just sit back and accept everything that interests children or youth. They are, after all, CHILDREN AND YOUTH, and DESERVE our guidance.
vampires...ANNE RICE STYLE rock....these books and this cake..... FAIL!!
Anonymous said "i dont see why everyone seems to be criticizing the cake.
whoever made it would have seen this as an achievement and im quite sure none of yous and me included could make a different one
April 28, 2009 3:18 AM"
It's cake wrecks. It's what we do. Check out the past posts and you'll see more terrible things done to body parts in the name of
cake.
Gary Oldman is my favorite vampire.
wv ingloomp. Someone who is ignorant (uneducated) to the existance of umpaloompa's(did I spell that right?)
Wow, only 180 comments! Most Twilight yes or no boards have thousands. It's crazy to think that not liking the books (especially if you haven't read them) makes you cool, anymore than liking the books makes you uncool.
@Agatha - I don't think it is a question of 'bashing' people who like the books. I found 'Twilight' (I read that one, to see what the fuss is about - couldn't face any more) to be a 'trashy' book in the sense @Shel used that word - they are not, IMO great (or even very good) literature, but I wouldn't criticise anyone for liking 'trash' - I like certain types of 'trashy' novels, films etc myself.
I also don't have much of a problem with the fact that the books are not terribly well written, and, frankly, pretty predictable. I got bored with them very fast for those reasons, but not everyone has the same taste and that's fine.
The problem which I have with 'Twilight' (and my impression is that this is what bothers an awful lot of people) is the not-so-subtle subtext; the misogyny, the anti-feminism, the message to all those young girls and women reading that actually, an abusive relationship with someone how dominates you, isolates you from your friends and family and endangers you is the perfect love you should be looking for.
If you have ever had much do do with anyone who has suffered domestic abuse, you would recognise that Bella's character, the way she is written, the way she acts and reacts, show all the signs of someone in aan abusive relationship. Edward is a controlling, domineering, and deeply damaging partner, and way in which the story is told leaves the impression that this is a good, even desirable pattern for realtionships. It is that, not the poor writing or clunky plots, which I have a problem with.
The Cake - that's baaad. And it's a shame, becasue the cover art is the best thing about the book...
This is the absolute most horrible cake I have ever seen. Ever.
Black icing is just so WRONG.
I also thought it looked like Grandpa Simpson holding a red bell pepper.
"Mormon Vampires", however... not so much. Some of us Mormons [me] may be pale and pastey, and some of us [Donny Osmond] seem like we never age, but come on!
[Wait, has anyone ever checked Donny or Marie to see if they were Undead? I'm just sayin'.]
I run the Edible Book Festival at our library, and my co-worker made a great Twilight cake this year for our festival. Check it out here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/csbsjulibrary/3424237387/
WAY better than this one!
I was already laughing so hard, then I read Tina's comment "Those arms, ewwww! They look like they smell." and now I have tears of laughter running down my face, hahahaha.
azurelunatic, you summed up the way I felt about those books. The characterizations were excellent, but having everything from Bella’s point of view was just too … idiotic.
I used to be a teenage girl and I wanted to slap her for her stupidity!
The next two films are being filmed in the Vancouver, BC area. So Forks, WA may be “the home” of the Twilighters, but the principal filming is in BC (to get around U.S. child labor laws; remember Taylor Lautner is still a minor and he’s a big part of the second and subsequent books). There is a model façade of Bella’s home built in a Vancouver suburb, and Surrey is standing in for La Push.
I am embarrassed to know this.
Rumor is the next “Twilight” books are written from Edward’s point of view. I don’t think he’s much smarter than Bella …
If you click LeAnn’s link (yes, yours is better done) you will find a link to a Flickr group of Twilight cakes. Black icing is an epidemic!
...........BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! =D
@Judy: I agree, with a minor difference. I think it's okay to let your kids read trash once in a while, as long as you let them know you think it's trash. I believe enlightening young people on the difference and encouraging them to be well-rounded might actually be healthier in the long run than a strict diet of manners, etiquette, and exemplary education.
I'll admit that impeccable young people are a pleasant rarity in today's world, but I'm not convinced they're ideally suited to adapt well in a quickly changing future world.
i apologize in advance for saying it....but it looks like a gynecological exam :(
To Shel:
Agreed! :)
After all, your insight to tell them it's trash, is in fact being a responsible guide.
Research from all angles is good but they need to be clear on their focus. Studying an opponent in any arena is a formidable way to do battle.
But keep in mind the saying "Garbage in - Garbage out" is not without merit.
Let them go out and see the world but as their appointed guides in the trenches we need to point out the land mines rather than just let them run willy-nilly in the mine field while we look the other way, hoping they'll come out the other side unscathed without any direction given. This would be irresponsible on our parts. ;)
Check out 2 much better twilight cakes: Myspace.com.cakesbyj
I haven't read all the comments, but surely I'm not the only one who sees this as 'Twilight meets The Scream'?
Drat...I sent this to my very pregnant friend who loves Twilight, hoping to scare her into labor. It didn't work. :( And no, baby's name won't be Reneesme, but that's what I'm going to call her! ;)
To be fair, Judy, how many moms actually read up on the subject matter of Twilight before buying it for their daughters? Chances are, their daughters demanded the book and and Mom bought it because "hey, it's a book and books are good".
I mean, in an ideal world everyone would love and revere good literature and be educated enough to know that Twilight and similar books aren't exactly shining examples of profound literature. And as far as my rationalization that it stimulates the economy? You can't deny that the series has been a major cash cow for Stephenie Meyer and those involved in any way with the books.
I do agree that we as adults must be in charge of our children and their upbringing. Please specify what constitutes an "edifying" purchase because books seem to fall into that category. If you mean edifying in the sense that you'd rather buy a Jane Austen for your daughter, more power to you. But not all teenage girls can appreciate Austen and would rather read nothing than be forced to read it just because "Mom says it's better for me than just I'm really into reading". If I have to make the decision between buying something that some people (but not all) consider to be light and trashy reading, and nothing at all, I'd choose the trash because ultimately, it's more edifying than her zoning out in front of the computer.
EHO ON EARTH WOULD RUIN TWILIGHT WITH A BAD CAKE! NOOOOOO!! SHAMMMMMEEEEEEEE.....
OH I NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AFTER SEEING THIS DISASTER...
All right, i'll go read the intire serie including the moonlight sun(edward version of the storie) again ..for the 4th time...ahh feeling better alerady...
By the way was the cake any good?
EEk, I have to be the only teenager you absolutely hates twilight and if I had to make a cake to sum p all my rage it would probably look like this too!
OK I'll admit I'm a Twilighter. This cake had me rolling on the floor laughing! And the puns are just priceless!!