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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Aug312008

You, Too, Can Have Teletubby Poo

Step 1: Order a cake with colors that rival Andy Warhol's paint palette, and have lots of beer on hand to wash it down.

(Ah, nice choice. Are you sure you have enough beer, though?)

Step 2: Consume. The dyes will stain every and anything they come in contact with, including clothing, skin, and vital organs. Observe:

Step 3: Wait for Mother Nature's call. Enjoy this foray into the world of technicolor poo.

[PHOTO REMOVED] (You're welcome.)

Step 4: Consider becoming a vegan. ;)

No, I'm not a vegan, folks. But I'm pretty sure blue poo should make us reconsider our dietary habits, don't you?

Sarah, I hear an herbal detox is good for this sort of thing.

« Wrecks on Display | Main | Dial-A-Wreck »

Reader Comments (117)

That much icing would make me want to vomit. I couldn't stomach one cupcake!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAppsNChaps

Even a vegan can use too much food coloring. My daughter once had some bubble gum and it turned her poo bright neon green!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTameson

Photo removed?
Oh, man!
You actually had a photo of technicolour poo..?
Oh well..
~Amy

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First, am I the only one who thinks that the title of this post is its best part?

Second, can someone please remind me again why anyone thinks cupcake-cakes are a good idea? I mean, really. Beer, I can understand. Battery-powered icing, I can forgive. But cupcake-cakes? C'mon.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Are you saying that the blue dye is made from animals? I thought it was usually made from plants.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinston

A piano birthday cake with predominantly black icing sent me running to the Internet to make sure bright green poo was normal. I don't recommend doing that to any guests, unless you really want to disturb them!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 4 yr old had problems with blue poo after eating Crazy Colors Ice Cream from Blue Bell...and I make cakes as a hobby, but never had this problem with the Cookie Monster cake...that's just means this cake had WAY TOO MUCH BLUE!!!!! Makes me rethink eating any cake with blue icing!!!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Engelhardt 4

lol tooo funny and what a horridly ugly cake!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

What is your take on cupcake cakes anyway?

We bought one like this from a store Memorial Day weekend. It said, "Congratulations" and we THINK it was a road driving through a desert with blue sky in the background. ...and one cupcake was missing (the cake was on clearance and we didn't notice the missing cupcake until we got home). Another thing we didn't notice until we got home was what appeared to be two finger swipes through the "asphalt". My 9 year old cousin ate a road cupcake and her tongue was black the rest of the day.
I wish I had known about this blog when we had that cake so I could have taken pictures of it for you.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

We vegans can make technicolor cakes with the best of 'em.

But what's with the 'Cupcake as Cake' phenomena? It just looks... Y'know.... Unprofessional, maybe?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSG

YUM... blue is my favourite colour too!!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGallifrey

Picture Removed? I wonder...
Cant go wrong with beer and cake!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDarth Rob

What's with the swirly cupcakes? They felt they must absolutely prove they can work a large, star-shaped tip? How, other than the toxic blue color, does this blend in with the rest of the cake?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

That frosting is deees-gusting. Once last year someone brought in similar cupcakes with hot pink antifreeze goo (oily, color blasted frosting) in another 1st grade classroom. A cake got spilled, then smashed on the carpet and to this day there is still a purple stain even after steam cleaning. (pink frosting + brown carpet = purple smudge). What does it do to your innards?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Foster

Why is the last photo removed? What was it?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervivian

That is an awesome looking cake, however.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You're sure you don't want to post that last photo under a jump or something? Please?

(Although I've never had blue poo, when I eat more than about half a pound of fresh blueberries from the garden, my poo smells like blueberries. Not blueberries plus poo, either--just blueberries, like a blueberry-scented candle. I'd say it's lovely but that seems gross; really it's mostly just disconcerting. Yay oversharing!)

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristin

Yikes! That's incredibly bright! and it looks very thick too...probably not only dye those vital organs, but coat them in sugar as well!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

...they frost cupcakes with PlayDoh?!!?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Hello! I've been reading your blog for a while and it makes me laugh a lot, so keep up the great work!
One thing though about todays post... since when can't vegans eat food colouring? Not that I'm not saying everyone should be a vegan ;P, but you know food colouring is made without any animal products as far as I know.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVeganKitty

I'm glad there's no pictures of blue or green poo.

I once made a black record cake...looked cool...but really a bad idea. Purple teeth and tongues and green poo.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJano

I recommended your blog for Blog Day today, so...Happy Blog Day or whatever!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I love this site! Thank you so much for helping me to laugh every day. My 16 year old son and I read it together and laugh until we are crying and our sides ache. Love it! Renee

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdaisy1282

Wait a second... it looks like it's not even a regular sheet cake. Is it made out of individual cupcakes stuck together with a solid mass of icing?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I've seen proof of this in my kids after eating heavily colored "frosting." Gross.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Being vegan will not save you. Because of my daughter's allergies, all her birthday cakes are vegan. Purple, turquoise, etc. Scary stuff.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRima

The cake is actually very pretty, but the amount of coloring worries me, especially after seeing that woman's tongue! You think after eating one of those if you accidentally cut yourself your blood will have turned blue.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertanya

Cakes! What a fab idea! Like your blog, which I found via 'Blogs of Note'. Very noteworthy.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSinging Bear

My bad: I was thinking vegans usually eat more natural, less chemical and additive-heavy foods.

Wow, is this comment section rife with TMI, or what? :)

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Since everyone is on the topic of the rainbow that is poo - I'll just mention I was momentarily scared, err, 'pooless' after eating fresh beets once until I remembered I had eaten fresh beets.

I think the cupcake cakes are a basically decent idea in that they eliminate cutting and ensure that everyone gets an equal portion, but do they always have to be so tacky-looking?

The fad hasn't seemed to hit my area yet. Thank goodness.

(and the word verification of 'wankjb' is hilarious!!! Think about it a minute. Think British.....)

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What do vegans have to do with anything?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to jump on the cupcake-cake hate here -- unless you maybe took a huge number of tiny, nicely frosted ones and did kind of a pointillism thing with it? Go on, somebody, take a thousand cupcakes and copy A Sunday On Grande Jatte - I dare you.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Well, we vegans do have http://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Cupcakes-Take-Over-World/dp/1569242739/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220213561&sr=8-1" REL="nofollow">better cupcakes.

Regarding eating more natural food: it often goes along with a vegan diet, but is not part of the definition!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClare K. R. Miller

BWAHAHAA!!! I love the title!

And the cupcake cake phenomenon, IMHO, stems from the complete LAZINESS of the citizens of our fair country, the USA. SLICE a CAKE?? Ugh, how very tiring....

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Many food colourings are made out of crushed insects which are not very vegan, although the insects themselves may be vegan, who knows?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDebster

Some food dyes aren't vegan; red pigment can be cochineal or carmine, which is insects!
A lot of vegans I know use natural dyes which are made from beet juice, turmeric, black carrot, etc. India Tree makes some, as does "Seelect".
Also, vegan cupcakes are delicious, woo!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG! It's my coworker!! Sarah, you submitted this, I'm assuming??

-Rebecca

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least they have good taste in beer.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMark

I thought the cake was well executed for what it was. At least it was pretty. But the tongue and the poo, no thank you!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermrs

I couldn't eat that cake. Ergh! Too much icing.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

Love this blog... I did a cupcake cake for my son's birthday purely because I can't stand cutting cakes. They were easy to distribute, but the icing was gloppy and falling off, plus the kids had a hard time taking the paper off. Turned out to be more of a hassle than cutting the darn cake. FYI, those of you asking about cupcake cakes, that's my info.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is one of those posts where I think the commentary is funnier than the actual cake! Seconding the comments about cupcake cakes being lame, and I'll take your word for it on the colored poo, better I don't see it for myself ;)

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZoja

I have to admit, I think it looks pretty and possibly tasty, but I am disturbed by the idea of technicolour poo.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkisekileia

Bummer! I missed the picture :(

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlaim

Eeeeww... I went to a wedding (relationship to myself withheld to protect the guilty!) with a red cupcake tower. They had bright, neon, red frosting, which stained mouths, hands and "the dress". I bet the bride didn't plan on that happening when she ordered the color. I sensible declined to partake. My husband did not have as much forethought... they stained coming out too.

Congrats on the http://blogsofnote.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Blogs of Note!

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterA Bay Horse

Thank you for your site. I really enjoy it- the cake pictures and especially the commentary have me laughing so hard.

Also, thank you for the link to sweetbabyjamesinfo.com. I read it in its entirety this week, and it was so inspirational. His parents are amazing people and make me want to try harder to be more like Jesus Christ. I will keep them in my prayers during this difficult time.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIronygirl

For those who question the cupcakes-as-cake concept:
My theory is that cutting a regular cake can be imperfect and could lead to "he/she got a bigger piece than I did!" Also, people are lazy and don't want to have to get out a knife.

Regardless, with nasty frosting like this, I don't think it even being a proper sheet cake would save it.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJuliamon

I have never learned so much about the poo of so many in so little time.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

the first picture has so many colors (from a design perspective) ... which is very pleasant.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNabeel

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