Sunday
Aug312008
You, Too, Can Have Teletubby Poo
August 31, 2008 Step 1: Order a cake with colors that rival Andy Warhol's paint palette, and have lots of beer on hand to wash it down.
(Ah, nice choice. Are you sure you have enough beer, though?)
Step 2: Consume. The dyes will stain every and anything they come in contact with, including clothing, skin, and vital organs. Observe:
Step 3: Wait for Mother Nature's call. Enjoy this foray into the world of technicolor poo.
[PHOTO REMOVED] (You're welcome.)
Step 4: Consider becoming a vegan. ;)
No, I'm not a vegan, folks. But I'm pretty sure blue poo should make us reconsider our dietary habits, don't you?
Sarah, I hear an herbal detox is good for this sort of thing.
Reader Comments (117)
You are hilarious! I really enjoyed your blog.
Oooh, the food colouring!
My hubby and I can attest to this! Witness our wedding cake (from 2001):
http://www.tezhme.net/album/d/3473-2/wed033.jpg
Isn't it purty! Complete with little bride and goom cows (you had to have been there...) It looked just like what we wanted, white, with dark blue highlights.
And their tongues, lips and teeth turned very blue.
It was promptly dubbed, and is forever known as, the Smurf Blood Cake.
OK, I'm waaay behind in commenting b/c I just found this blog. (and LOVE it.)
So I love cake...LOVE IT! However, what I really love is icing! Lots and lots of gooey, goopy, sugary fluff. So as sick as this may sound, that toxic-blue topper looks totally delicious. Yeah, I'm sick, but no sicker than those of you who keep talking about poo, LOL.
Great blog!
Thanks for the warning about the poo. I had a cupcake this weekend with very blue icing, so I only freaked out for one second before remembering.
OMG! I did the same thing when I asked for DARK blue roses on my birthday cake. Let me tell you: navy blue roses=blue poo for a week....
I don't care for cupcake-cakes either.
I only count 24 beers in that photo. And since SNPA is sold in 12 packs it stands to reason that if more then 12 people worked in that office they would need more than one 12 pack. Hence the 'excessive' amount of beer. There are also around 30 cupcakes there so people would eat more vibrant colored cake and frosting than beer. And as someone who has drank plenty of beer, I think the frosting may be worse for you body.
Jerome
Years ago, my best friend and I shared a house with a couple of brothers.
My friend and I still convulse over the day when one of the brothers (then about 35), obviously horribly distressed, came up to us and said....
"Um.... you two know a lot about health and stuff.... Ummmm.... errr.... I have a problem I am really worried about and.... ummmm I think it could be really serious... It's kind of personal".
He related how in the last few days his.... poo... had been shocking green. "I'm worried it might be cancer or something..."
I thought about it for all about two seconds and opined that the fact that he had been eating enormous amounts of green "shoestring" licorice might have something to do with this little "problem".
I'm sure he was relieved but I think his reaction was more of horror that not only had this not occurred to him but that he had just related this very personal problem and his stupidity to his female room-mate.
Actually, I recall a friend telling me about when they went to Cuba and in the wee hours, barely two hours before they had to be up for the plane, they were still partying at the hotel bar.
The friend said after she was rather "over-lubricated" that someone persuaded her to have a gigantic "layered" drink of a number of different coloured liqueurs.
She said she didn't remember going back to her room or the ride from the hotel to the airport.
However, she vividly recalls lurching to the airplane bathroom and, quite literally having a "technicolour yarn". Apparently, the drink settled in her stomach in its layers and more or less returned that way.
I had a cupcake wedding cake (not a CCC- or should I say CCWC- but just cupcakes on a tiered stand) and wanted to pick royal blue icing like this since it was my wedding color. Luckily, my baker was a real pro and told me it would stain everybody's lips, teeth, tongues and hands, and encouraged me to go with a much lighter shade of blue!
my brother had blue icing on his like 3rd birthday cake and did a blue poo
Was the word "vegan" just used in a blog post, and there were 110 comments at this writing, without a single anti-vegan one? I think that's a new record!
I had a blue tie-dyed cake for my 23rd birthday- despite being purchased from Super Wal-Mart, it was quite well done and looked lovely. My poo for the next three days was, incidentally, the same lovely shade of blue.
How about Step 5: commit to the Feingold Diet program?
Moral of the blog post: keep your cupcake icing colors in pastel shades!
I dunno... I think this cake is pretty! I mean, yes EW to dreaded CCCs, and there is waaay too much icing here, but I love the colours - yay for food colouring!!!
(seriously people, are you THAT worried what your tongue looks like for a few hours???)
Plus I have to say maybe there's something weird about my digestive tract, but I use a lot of food colouring, and I've never had colourful poo of any kind... Maybe our colouring has different chemicals here in Australia...? (although I do use Wiltons!)
Could somebody post a link to a picture of 'the poop'?
I agree..I don't I have ever learned so much about the poo of so many in so little time. lol I love this blog. ;) xx
Am I the only person who now has the urge to buy some food colouring and just down it, to see what happens?