Totally Cheating
December 22, 2008 In yet another blow to true cake artists everywhere, many large chain bakeries are now "decorating" cakes almost exclusively with plastic flotsam. In theory, this means the "decorators" require even less skill, and therefore will wreck less cakes. That's the theory, anyway.
Well, Kelinda S., I guess we can't complain too much here: so long as the decorators don't put the feet on backwards, there's really not much they could do to wreck this design up.
Wait, did I say put the feet on backwards?
Ok, so these designs are still wreckable, as Jen S. discovered with Thunder Thighs Santa here. Though to be fair, maybe the decorator's thumbs DO face that way - that might explain a lot, actually...*
Some of these plastic cheats are deceptive. For example, at first glance Lyndsay W.'s find looks like a really well-made Santa suicide scene:
(Yes, of course Santa bleeds sprinkles. Duh.) However, that head is actually plastic. It's even kind of cute, compared with the nightmarish clown-head-picks all us Wilton vets know so well.
Of course, other plastic cheats can be just a smidge more obvious, as Amy D. discovered:
Attention Bakery Managers: you may want to post some instruction photos for these cheat kits. You know, to avoid the whole upside-down-nose-and-mustache thing.
What, you can't tell it's upside down? Here, I'll show you:
See? Santa went from sad & droopy to only mildly consternated. Much better. Also, if this Wreck isn't proof that wreckerators are addicted to their airbrushes, I don't know what is. I mean, it looks like someone attacked Santa with a machete! Two words, guys: "Inter" and "Vention". [earnest head nodding]
As someone who enjoys wrapping gifts so much that I actually *d0* wrap empty boxes just for funsies, I find this next one from Brian D. especially horrifying:
That's REAL non-matching ribbon on the lumpy green square thing edged with ketchup ooze on the round cake board. And did I mention the ribbons don't match? [shudder]
But then, Brian M. reminds us that in this season of extravagance it's often the little things that can bring the most joy:
Even better: the package next to this one also has the "oh oh oh"s. Score!!!
* Ok, yes, I suppose your thumbs would be on the outside if you bend your arms at the elbow. And yes, it took me about 45 seconds of thumb twisting experimentation to figure that out. :)
Reader Comments (143)
I think the OH OH OH cupcakes need to be displayed next to the sad Santa, because Im pretty sure thats what he would say after getting steam rolled and thrown on the grill like that. Poor guy.
Thunder Thighs Santa looks like he's doing the Macarena.
my favorite is the "Oh Oh Oh." of course, my dirty mind doesn't read that with Christmas in mind at all...
I thought that the cake with the plastic details (the airbrushed one) was a teddy bear before i saw the right side up mustache! im such a retard...
Thanks for putting up the snowman. He's the first ccc sighted in the city I believe. S*****store has wreckerators
The legs are so he can run away...far far away.
I love the cupcakes...Christmas porno anyone?
wvotd cometal..."oh cometal ye faithful..."
Perhaps the Oh-Oh-Oh cupcakes are promotional items for a Tom Joyner event?
"Oh! Oh! Oh! It's the Tom Joyner Morning Show!"
Merciful Heaven.
And looky! Santa Cake is wearing the Wicked Witch of the West's stripey stockings!
With any luck, someone will drop a house on HIM, too.
Our Wal-Mart does NOT stoop to using mere plastic flotsam on its cakes. The bakers there, being wonderfully creative little elves, have taken it upon themselves to top all of their seasonal cakes with COOKIE CUTTERS. The theory is, apparently, that customers will overlook the pathetic ornamentation to "save money and live better" by not having to purchase cookie cutters this year.
Word verification: "whimpe," which very accurately describes dear Wally-world's holiday cake decorations...
Hubby and I were discussing one of these plastic flotsam Santa-face cakes in a large grocery store just yesterday, and I said it's not a Wreck, because it's so neatly done. Lame, but neat. How could someone screw that up?
I now see all too clearly...
Well - since its the season, we could give some credit. If we turn the last one upside down, the OH OH OH becomes HO HO HO...
The missing exclamation mark is the saving grace :)
lol, Safeway Safeway Safeway, they were the culprits in a Halloween pumpkin/jackolantern cake I sent you as well.
Sheesh. Given the number of inverted plastic decorations, what's next? Reindeer with their legs bending the wrong way? Santa plunged headfirst into a mound of frosting?
Actually, I'd probably buy that latter one if I ever saw it.
I love the OH OH OH cupcakes! But they should have waited...that's not a Xmas-appropriate design and should be saved for something more adult like the Night After Valentine's Day, perhaps.
WOAH!
Score is right! These are so bad they're good. Those OH OH OH's win completely.
I don't know how the people who buy these cakes actually get past laughing at them to eating them.
Brianna McCarthy @ Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com
ok, the santa face in pieces looks like a sad kitty cat...how could they get that sooooo wrong????
/looks down shaking head..they destroyed Santa!!
....and the green brick. It's what I'm throwing through Santa's window. It's a nasty message written on nasty green paper. Because I still don't have the pony I asked for when I was 4.
wvotd wafes....what you do instead of waving because your thumbs are on backwards.
I laughed my ass off with the OH OH OH cupcakes...then I realized...maybe the decorator was iliterate....Now I am sad
so....about the green rectangle with mismatched ribbon...
What is with the green squiggle on the side of the cake? You've got Rudolph, Santa, and what?
You're all silly - can't you see the *cupcakes* are upside down?! Obviously none of you are trapeze artists or gymnasts....
I can't believe how many people are claiming that the "OH OH OH" picks are correct if you turn the cupcakes around.
Noooo, they're not. See how they're in at a definite angle? That gives the cupcakes a front, which is indeed facing the camera, and therefore they are upside-down.
Hopefully YOU can see that even if the original wreckerator couldn't.
Dear Wreckerators: Drugs are bad, mmkay? At least when you're at work, they're bad! People don't have striped faces. Snowmen are generally not endowed with legs and feet. The nose goes above the mouth. Santa is not generally known to have a gargantuan tush and then toothpick legs, nor is it particularly jolly to dismember him. What's UP with you guys?
Hilarious today as always, of course, but I gotta chide you on the "Oh Oh Oh" entry...The photo's just upside-down! Spin 180 degrees and it becomes normal...sort of.
Elise
Oh Oh Oh - How do you like Santa's "O-Face!"
The eyebrows are also wrong! Look closely and you'll see they should each be on the other eye!
Betsy
Dallas, OR
They have been selling tons of those snowman cakes at the grocery stores around us. It's crazy! And people buy them too! Will send in some pics of others ASAP.
Melissa
Now I need to go look for Oh Oh Oh cupcakes for the humor value at my family Christmas! Thanks for the giggles.
I just saw the snowman CCC in our local grocery store. Except one of the mittens was facing the wrong way...much like the Santa. Too funny.
I know I'm a little behind, but I love this site, and the Santa upside-down nose thing made me remember a picture I took at Wal-mart in one of those claw machines:
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a141/nokora/Funny/02_SantaStache.jpg
If you wanna see it. :)
Oh how your commentary always cracks me up! I should've been in bed hours ago, but I get sucked in here!
That snowman cake seems to have some big... snow*balls* instead of legs!
And the Santa with the upside down nose/mouth? The entire background of the cake looks like a slab of bacon. Gross.
Thanks for the laughs!
"See? Santa went from sad & droopy to only mildly consternated."
I read that as 'mildly constipated', and you know what? That's what it -should- say!
The thunderthighs don't worry me so much as the leprechaun legs...You'd think they'd at least get the time of year right?
Did anyone else notice that the Santa suicide cake has a plastic pick that reads "Blessed Season" on it? Blessed Season of what? Santa horror??!! Traumatizing the kids???
the up-side down nose cake makes me think "good kitty santa!"
not only did they put santa's nose on upside-down, they also seem to have barbecued his face and then tried to cover it with the plastic santa face pieces!
-margo
Am I the only one who saw that last pic and thought of "Sweet Caroline?"
(oh oh oh...good times never felt so good...So good! So good! Okay, I'll shut up now.)
OMG reading this for the first time, going back through to read all the old posts, and I think this is from my bakery! We put the Ho-Ho-Hos on upside down on purpose ;) To see if anyone would notice. Think its my bakery cause the pinecone picks are from 4 years ago and the snowflake are 2 years old, we used them all up this year
On the last wreck- I think mommy has her boyfriend over!
I know this post is forever ago, but I can't help myself, and simply must tell you. All I can think of is "The Right Stuff", from NKTOB.
Emo Santa(a.k.a upside-down mouth)..
the upside down thing is bad.. but the lizard-man-esque striped flesh-
I dunno what disease he has- but i think if i sported flesh so festively striped- I might be sad too.
poor emo santa- the holidays *are* the hardest aren't they?
Am I the only one that sees that present as a giftwrapped creature of some sort? Because from where I'm sitting, that Santa head on the side looks like an eye. It looks like it's about to pounce...
Word verification: "busti". Methinks the internet just made a Freudian slip.
First off, let me say I ADORE this site, as a hobbyist baker/decorator. I get a great many lulz and cheerings-up from this site. I lurk here frequently, and I only come out of hiding to say that for the first time since I've been lurking, Jen, you have used one of my pet peeves: saying "less" when you should have said "fewer." That's right up there with "should of" instead of "should've." Not to be nit picky, it's just the ONE THING that really gets me x)
http://oxforddictionaries.com/words/less-or-fewer
I know you know this stuff Jen!
1: says display only. If that's the display cake, I'd hate to see the others. Which must be every other wreck in this post.
2: You've heard of Bumpits for hair and Butt-Ups for your butt, but not THIGH-Ups.
3: Clearly, Santa did NOT commit suicide, peoples. He is sprawled in roadkill position, so someone up north musta been driving drunk while he was crossing the street.
4: Santa-osis.
5: There's no better gift than a poorly wrapped video game enemy with a small poop swirl on its behind!
6: OH wow.
Number four=sad seal.