Monday
Feb232009
"Hey everybody, thish cake ish from Holland. Ishn't that veird?"
February 23, 2009 Brace yourself, my friends, for what you're about to see may haunt your dreams for the rest of your natural lives, and will most certainly turn you off of acrylic nails.
Ready?
Here it comes...
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the baby shower, they went and added...
The DREADED MANICURED ALIEN HAND OF DOOM!!![drawn-out scream]
Ok, what's worse: the bone-white skin pallor, popped-out belly button that looks like the tied-off end of a balloon, or the fact that Thing-ette there seems to be sucking the life-force out of Octo-Mom Wraith-style?
Now, I have pudgy little Hobbit hands, so my basis of reference is off: tell me, is that hand as disproportionally gargantuan as I think it is?
Kevin V., you musht be toight like a toyger*. Schmoke and a pancake?
*Ok, so the pop-culture references got a little out of hand** in this post. Sorry.
**Get it? Out of hand? Booyah!
Reader Comments (266)
No, not an alien. My guess is a stripper's baby shower.
That had is freakin' huge, Jen!!!
Creepy indeed.
EEW!
It looks like a zombie hand.
And the belly button looks like a condom.
-Melisa
That is just...disturbing.
That hand is creepy but well made. Acrylic nails, dirty dirty dirty.
Would you give the expectant mom a piece of cake? Or not, to save herself from herself. "Fazaa can you hear me?"
wv. shlopea...there's not shlopea vork der but is shtill wrekiness
Hey, remember that the Wraith suck life force from the chest area - not always the heart, but close enough.
But then it could be doing that to the baby inside, which would be very creepy.
yes, I'm thinking about this too hard, and yes, I'm also a geek!
HIDEOUS!!!!
Um...ew.
LMAO! The title of the post made me cackle then reading the post made me chortle. You rock.
P.S. Having the hands of a toddler myself, seeing those cruella deville hands on that cake of terror have scarred me.
On behalf of the Dutch everywhere I would like to state that thankfully I have never seen such a hand on any Dutch (or other) woman, nor does Austin Power's supposed persiflage of the Dutch hit in any way on the commonly understood stereotypes of the Dutch.
I mean 'schmoke and a pancake'? WTF is that about? Is it too much to ask that people make jokes about the Dutch which actually make sense? Dutch wife, yes, going Dutch, yes, Dutch courage, yes, pass the Dutch, thanks. All these things in some way relate to supposed Dutch culture and/or habits.
Schmoke and a pancake? What?
Yours truly,
A Confused Nederlander.
started my morning with a good laugh!
I can not believe the nails on this cake!!!!
OH MY GOSH AND IT HAS PERKY NIPPLES TOO!
So weird, I was watching an Outer Limits episode late last nite and it was about an alien baby...odd coincidence??? I think not...MUUHHWWHHAA!
Actually the fingernails creep me out more then anything...they dont match the shirt.
The nipples, I can't believe you didn't mention the nipples!
Scarred for life.
I've had your site bookmarked for a good three or four months now. I check it every day. In fact, it's one of the few sites I've bookmarked that warrant a daily visit.
Then you had to go and make an SGA reference, forcing me to comment just so I could say..."I SO todalie underneath that 'hart' U"!
Damn, that looked so much better in my head with the pink frosting and white roses...
thats a very uh... unsettling cake.
Think anyone said " I CALL THE HAND!"
That is a freaky alien hand.
But really do you need to put nips on the boobs? I think everyone could have figured out what they were w/o the nips. I could never ever eat some baby belly or boobs. But that's just me.
I also have hobbit hands, so this hand is also terrifying to me. But perhaps somebody with a more neutral frame of reference can enlighten us. I have a hunch, though, that those nails are enough to scare people of all hand sizes.
Let's not leave out those gargantuan nipples. ~tara
oh.my.g-d.
*shudder* You're dead on in your analysis of the hand proportions. It's creepy and spider-esque
nice party hats, too.
pipe and a crepe? no?
bong and a blitz? no?
shigar and a vaffle? no?
then there ish no pleashing you.
apparently the hand model has marfan's syndrome.
you didn't even mention the scary things going on underneath that green cloth thing.
So wrong.... on so many levels...
*twitch*
I think what really gets me is the overall sense of creepy I get... this cake is messed up.
The hand itself is not so much out of proportion as the fingers are looong. And kind of bony looking. And pretty much alien.
But, seriously, WTFnails!?
also those nipples, eesh!
Are you sure it's from Holland? I think it looks more like a French flag. The Dutch flag has horizontal stripes; the French flag has vertical stripes.
(being Dutch myself, I'd rather see the French be responsible for such an awful cake).
Oh. Mah. Gawd. OhMahGawd. OMG. Whaaaaa.... WHY??????
Um, I think that cake should wear a bra. It's a little, um, exposed.
No words...
Ok, I have a few. Wow, that is just one of the weirdest things ever. I think I'd rather have the disembodied torso instead of the creepy skinny hand thing!
And also - it must be very cold in there... oO
You didn't even address the fact that the woman is nipping out. And yes, those fingers are scary weird.
Wow, I did NOT look like that while pregnant!
I have long, thin hands; that's definitely exaggerated way out of proportion.
It's also scary. Yikes.
I am finding Cake Wrecks to be one of the high points of the whole bleary-waking-up part of the morning, thanks!
Baby womb cakes freak me out. The nails just make it a million times worse.
that is so white trash!!!!
God! So awkward! Creepy as hell.
Personally I find the freakin' nipples on these cakes to be weirder. but I might not be seeing right.
Yikes. Yikes. Aaaaaand...yikes.
That's horrfying!
And it's made all the better by the fact that you said, "Booyah."
A very nice pregnant belly cake... a great baby shower ornament!
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DB
I think the fingers being long and thin are very elegant, pianist like fingers. The only problem I have are the freakishly long nails and the ugly manicure, oh and the color of the skin.
Were the nipples in there really necessary?
What I want to know is... what person gets their alien hands manicured in that way? It looks like a flag.
Maybe when the belly of the cake is cut the little tyke will come out, or milk will spurt when the top half is cut. Weird. The hand is gruesome too. Very weird.
It looks like the hand is going to perform a c-section. OMGracious. That is terrifying.
Tim Burton's "The Nightmare before Delivery"
The hand is creepy big, but the thing that is making me shudder is those bewbs. Real mama bewbs don't look that that!
Uh-huh! Oh yeah! First comment!
That looks seriously creepy. WHAT WOULD POSESS A DECORATOR THAT TOLD THEM THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA???!!!!!!
I love the fact that you referenced Wraiths. A connection to Stargate Atlantis is about the only redeeming quality this monstrosity has! Wow.
disturbing. in. many. ways.
Jen, I think you're a little heavey handed with the puns :D
Whoa.
Those are some big ole' hands, even for the Amazons.
I'm all for embracing a woman's body as she goes through pregnancy, but cakes of such things weird me out. I mean, who really wants to be the first to cut into that thing? And who would want the pieces with fingernails on them? Eek!
There is nothing, absolutely nothing remotely correct, good or funny about this cake. I would have run screaming from the shower or at least barfed on the carpet. What were they thinking?
I feel ill.
And the breast implants! Bleah!
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)