Monday
Feb232009
"Hey everybody, thish cake ish from Holland. Ishn't that veird?"
February 23, 2009 Brace yourself, my friends, for what you're about to see may haunt your dreams for the rest of your natural lives, and will most certainly turn you off of acrylic nails.
Ready?
Here it comes...
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the baby shower, they went and added...
The DREADED MANICURED ALIEN HAND OF DOOM!!![drawn-out scream]
Ok, what's worse: the bone-white skin pallor, popped-out belly button that looks like the tied-off end of a balloon, or the fact that Thing-ette there seems to be sucking the life-force out of Octo-Mom Wraith-style?
Now, I have pudgy little Hobbit hands, so my basis of reference is off: tell me, is that hand as disproportionally gargantuan as I think it is?
Kevin V., you musht be toight like a toyger*. Schmoke and a pancake?
*Ok, so the pop-culture references got a little out of hand** in this post. Sorry.
**Get it? Out of hand? Booyah!
Reader Comments (266)
I have been reading your blogs for months loving the mix of bad cakes, good sarcasm and a little geek.
Thanks for the austin powers reference. Everytime anyone says the word "weird", I immediately flash on the quote from Goldmember. I'm glad somebody else does too.
Please keep up the AWESOME work!
Did anyone else notice that the cake is nippin'?
that is massive!!! :-)
http://worldnewsforums.com
Um...yeah, very creepy. And apparently cold wherever this cake monstrosity was stored...
no words. no words to describe the disappointment in this cake.
I am so going to have nightmares...
Wrong on SO many levels.
It reminds me of the other mother's hand from Coraline.
Brrr...
I adore you used a Stargate reference! Cakes + Stargate = AWESOME!!!
This cake creeps me out!
I'm going to have to say the creepiest part of this is the fact that not only are Lee press-on nails heavily featured in this cake... the baker felt the need to give this a true "hoochie-mama" feel by giving it nipples.
why do they feel that's necessary? are we not going to understand they are supposed to be breasts without the nipples trying to contact nasa???
There are no words lol
just....odd
I'm astounded, I've never heard of a baby shower here in Holland before!
Oh, and I'm rather thrilled that on my birthday you
a) have a Dutch cake
b) refer SGA!
Is it cold in here, or is it just the cake. I think I'm most disturbed by the nipple action that's going on those large bazoombas. Gross!
And isn't that France's flag, not Holland?
It's the Other Mother from "Coraline"! Now she's after the unborn!
(I love this website sooooooooo much. Keep up the good work!)
Word Verification: reshle. Yesterday at the library we were laughing so hard at Cake Wrecks we forgot to reshle any books.
My god that's awful.... I now vow to never do a hand-over-the-pregnant-belly cake. AWFUL!
Not gargantuan. This person has Marfan syndrome!
-Ashley
the creepiest part would be cutting into it! gross! that, or when your creepy uncle at the party requests one of the breasts and then eats it without a fork and knife.
SGA! SGA! SGA! SGA!
...and now we will never get the movie and all i will have to look forward to are weird connections. Picturing that hand as Todd's, well, that is creepy. thanks so much for that image. must go now and destroy those brain cells.
Sooo... you can see her nipples. Ew.
That hand looks to me like the Other Mother's right hand from Coraline. I mean the story, not the movie. The movie looks really stupid. The story is awesome.
I wonder who the fazha is...
Looks like the alien's hand from Signs that comes under the door...*shudder*
I think any pregnant belly cakes are tacky to begin with, but that just takes it to a new level of gargantuan tackiness! Gargantuan, like that malformed mutant alien hand.
Are the nails a Pepsi Commercial??
The belly button looks like a condom.
That is just icky. How can anyone eat it?? *shudders*
i'm waiting for one of these cakes to have something inside the huge bump - like jelly (which would be gross) or frosting... or an EDIBLE BABY... >shudder< creepy
This is the first time I've felt compelled to comment.
Yes, that hand is all out of proportion. The index finger is longer than the middle finger, and it's almost like there's an extra knuckle in them all. There are a few things wrong with that hand.
Now, I have a vague guess why the belly button looks like a balloon, and that's because my mom (only a semi-professional cake decorator) made a baby shower cake with a big pregnant lady once. We actually stuffed a little toy animal inside a balloon, and blew it up, then iced over it to be the belly. That way the mom-to-be got to "deliver" the baby. Mom used the neck of the balloon for the belly button, but she iced it a lot better, made it look more natural.
Does anyone else see the nipples?!
Why is the belly button so... shiny?
I hope there's one of those baby cakes on the inside. Wouldn't that be a fun surprise for the person cutting the cake? Cutting a cake or a c-section, you decide.
OMG that hand is rediculous!!! When I have a baby, I'll make sure they make some outrageously stupid cake so I can send it in here...but seriously, what can top this one?? Other then, of course, the anotomically correct "Giving Birth" fondent cake--LMAO!!!!!
My hand fits on my belly about like that... but I'm not pregnant.
And the nails and the nipples and the white skin WTF. As if these cakes weren't awful to being with.
verification... o unpro is right!
Definitely a wraith hand. Maybe Michael in disguise? I don't know what I like more about your blog, the cakes or all the scifi references I get!
Angie, SciFiMama
Okay, I had to scroll down a bit, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the huge nipples on that thing.
Though the hand is definitely alien-caliber creepy...
Oh god, it look's like the Other Mother got knocked up...
.. and it looks like the bakery was very cold that day as well know what I mean?
Someone commented that the cake reminded them of Bella's pregnancy from Twilight. I thought of the same thing when I first saw this cake...
But really, it is frighteningly beyond unappetizing!
Was it cold in the bakery when they frosted the cake???
is it me or does that hand have two thumbs? on on the belly and one in her shirt?
Just once I'd like to see the "carnage" (as my hubby refers to what's left on the plate/table, etc from any gathering) from one of these wrecks.
You think that was red velvet cake in there? i might have a problem if I was the recipient of a cake as freakishly *shudder*...words escape me.
Ang
wv-orkult...looks like demon handed mama was dealing in the orkult. ;)
That is a very patriotic cake... except it is the French flag, not the Dutch flag (which is horizontal, the red on top and the blue on the bottom).
i have freakishly long fingers which look even more freakishly long in photos :/
I have seen the model for this cake! The Labor and delivery nurse I had for my first delivery -she scratched me to bits! I am a nurse now and strong believer that RNs should not have acrylics! lol
I have what people might call "freakishly long" fingers, so to me....that hand *almost* looks normal! LOL The nails...nasty! The nipples...come on! All in all........I think I'll pass on this cake!
The only thing that would make this cake more wrecktacular would be if it was a red velvet cake....
**snickering**
:)
I forgot to mention. I have size 9 hands. A nine inch span from the tip of my thumb to the tip of my pinkie. That's not counting my artificial nails (clean unpolished ones). Big bewbs too. Normal inney belly button though. I empathize with the cake but it's still weird.
Big hands will come in handy (no pun intended) when FHOTD takes it's show on the road with the "Whack an Asshat" road trip.
wv. sating...just checking in before work, sating my appetite for cake wrecks.
*is Dutch*
What's up with the Sean Connery impression?
And, oh God, there is just no good way to incorporate pregnancy in a cake. rew
I have long fingers. But I don't add giant acrylic nails to extend them. I have a friend who has really long fingers, longer than mine. Even so, I think this hand is disproportionately long in comparison to the torso. Just sayin'.
This is the craziest cake. I would NEVER want a piece!
Hahaha Gold Member!!! The best part is when John Travolata portrayed him for a few minutes!
brings those R Crumb cartoons to mind- the ones about his fantasy for a voluptous woman without a head. The best part- the wet t-shirt contest nipples LOL.