Tonight at the Lucky Stardust Lounge

"You... are... so beautiful..."

"...to me."

"Thank you. Thank you very much."

[Leaning on piano]

"You... are... soooo beautiful..."

"...to meeee."

"The Goldmans, everyone! Fifty years today! Aren't they adorable?

"Can't you SEEE-EEE-EE?!?"

[sliding to front of stage on knees]

"You're... ev'ry-thing I HOPED for!"

[grimacing in pain]

"You're EVERYTHING I neeeeeeeeee..."

"...eeEEED!"

[winking at waitress]

"You... are... so beautiful..."

"Toooo... meeeeEEEEE."

Thank you, Nia C., Krystal C., Karen R., Julie R., Alison V., and Joshua P. Thank you so much. No, really. Thank you. Really. You're too much. Thank you. Tip your waitress!

*****

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When The World Ends, Blame The Ninja Deer

You know how sometimes we like to zoom in to see all the wrecky details?

Well, it turns out sometimes we should zoom OUT.

Take this wedding cake, for example:

While I think you'll agree that finger-smeared "camouflage" is a true wonder to behold, there's no way for you to fully appreciate the entire artistic "tableau" - the one hinted at by that snippet of caution tape in the background - until you zoom out a ways:

I'll forgive the balloons, the little boot vases, and even the toy tractors - but two plywood boards balanced on a used tractor tire? That's time to take a stand, people. And burn it.

And, ok, since you insist:

Whoah, whoah, whoah. Where did those tiny deer come from?!

No, seriously, did you see any tiny plastic deer in those first two photos? 'Cuz I didn't.

Wait.

I just thought of something:

What if the deer were wearing camouflage?

{***}

That sound just then?

That was your mind being blown.

Many thanks to Anony M., who also provided a photo of the bridal party, but I've decided to protect the identities of the guilty. After all, any bridesmaid forced to wear a camo dress with a neon orange petticoat and cowboy boots has suffered enough, don't you think?