We're Pretty Sure It's Not About Drugs

[All together, now!]  

Puff, the farting unicorn

is so gas-sy.

He frolics with his wrecky friends

in a chain store bakery!

Lounging Staypuft ponies

love that rascal Puff.

But Sparkle Faceplant broke two legs

when things got kinda rough.

Ohhhhh.....

Together they would hunt down

all the zombie cookie fails.

And try to keep down incidents

when ponies got impaled.

They never tease poor Pokey

for his sad horn and mane.

But they steer clear of Horny here

That guy is just insane...

[Whoa!]

Magical thanks to Leann S., Andrea and Anne-Marie S., Andrea McP., Cathy S., Allison H., Elaine E., Ladylockeout, and Stacey H., for helping me wreck one of the most depressing children's songs EVER.

*****

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Taste The Rainbow

[gazing dramatically into distance]  

Sooome... WHERE.... oooover the rainbow!

My, oh my.

There's a cake that I heard of

Once that I'd like to buy.

Some... ONE... spelled out the colors!

Chris is "blue."

Why... did... the wreck-er-a-tor

Pipe the instructions, too?

Someday I'll get into my car
And drive until the wrecks are far behind me!

("Scarlett around the Edge")

Where "banquet"'s spelled right in the shops

And no one tries to sell cake flops

That's where yooouuu'll FIIINNND me!

Some... WHERE... ooover the rainbow

Bakers try.

They... don't... write out instructions

Those are the cakes I'll buy.

If happy customers can buy

Cakes with a "rainbow"
why ooohh whyyyy
caaaaan't I?

Thanks to Tristan S., Vern M., Tim L., Debi G., Sarah B., David H., Brenda T., Karen B., Stephanie D., and Sahara H. for really bringing the house down.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.