I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate

I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my fault. *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes, NO SIR.

But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK.

(Made by Darcy at Brown Butter Bakery who has an awesome sense of humor)

:head tilt:

Well, actually, that's not TOO bad. I mean, EW, yes, but at least they kept the gore to a minimum.

In fact, this next one doesn't have ANY blood! Yay!

And hey, perky nipples! What mom-to-be doesn't want her friends eating perky lady nipples at her shower? Besides all of them?

I feel I should warn you, though, that this next one is definitely crossing a line:

Not ready. NOT READY.

Just tell yourself this is a creepy old man poking his head out of sheet, and you MIGHT only scream for, like, a second or two:

Brb, still screaming.

But you know what we haven't had enough of yet in this post? Doll parts and drippy red syrup.

STILL SCREAMING.

Ok, for realsies, folks, turn back now.

'Cuz you do NOT want to see this last one.

It's bad.

Real bad.

Why are you still scrolling?

Are you on a diet?

Out of birth control?

Do you ENJOY feeling queasy?

Well, ohh kaaaaay....

What's that? You want to ZOOM IN?

You sick, sick puppy, you.

SCREAMING FOREVER.

"Thanks" to Jenn M., Matt R., Carl G., Anony M., Heidi D., & Amber B. for making me question all of my life choices up to this point.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Eat Your Heart Out, Shakespeare

[walking into spotlight]

[striking dramatic pose]

Poo bee...

... or NOT poo bee?

That is the question.

[raising fist to the heavens]

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 

the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes,

Or to take arms against a sea of tribbles!

["Meep?"]

and by opposing...

END THEM.

["MEEP!"]

[raising both arms and bellowing]

Tie dye!!

To seep no more!

And by a sheep,

today we end the heartache

and the thousand natural shocks...

... is that a hair?! EW!

[Ahem.]

'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Tie dye, to seep, perchance on buttercream!

Aye,

There's the flub.

Blow, winds, and crack your heartfelt thanks to Jennifer T., Janet, Carol F., Lilly P., Amanda M., Alli S., Christy L., Sarah F., Sarah Jane, Brittany B., Paige H., and Karyn T, our Shakespearean pros.

****

PS: Been a while since English Lit 101? Then here, let me google that for you:

"To be, or not to be, that is the question:

Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer

The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,

Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep

No more; and by a sleep, to say we end

The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks

That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,

To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the rub."

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: