I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate

I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my fault. *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes, NO SIR.

But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK.

(Made by Darcy at Brown Butter Bakery who has an awesome sense of humor)

:head tilt:

Well, actually, that's not TOO bad. I mean, EW, yes, but at least they kept the gore to a minimum.

In fact, this next one doesn't have ANY blood! Yay!

And hey, perky nipples! What mom-to-be doesn't want her friends eating perky lady nipples at her shower? Besides all of them?

I feel I should warn you, though, that this next one is definitely crossing a line:

Not ready. NOT READY.

Just tell yourself this is a creepy old man poking his head out of sheet, and you MIGHT only scream for, like, a second or two:

Brb, still screaming.

But you know what we haven't had enough of yet in this post? Doll parts and drippy red syrup.

STILL SCREAMING.

Ok, for realsies, folks, turn back now.

'Cuz you do NOT want to see this last one.

It's bad.

Real bad.

Why are you still scrolling?

Are you on a diet?

Out of birth control?

Do you ENJOY feeling queasy?

Well, ohh kaaaaay....

What's that? You want to ZOOM IN?

You sick, sick puppy, you.

SCREAMING FOREVER.

"Thanks" to Jenn M., Matt R., Carl G., Anony M., Heidi D., & Amber B. for making me question all of my life choices up to this point.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Well, THAT'S Handsy

You know those cringe-inducing pregnancy photos where the mom-to-be's mostly naked and the shirtless dad is standing behind her caressing her belly, and all you can think is how you don't even like going to the pool in a bikini, but here they are, all up in yo' Facebook feed, smirking the smirk of the freshly procreated?

Well, doesn't that sight make you, like, totally hungry?

NEEDS MOAR HANDS.

If you'll excuse me, Katie A., I'll just be over here screaming forever. (And they're saying my doll-and-butcher-knife mobile is creepy. YEESH.)

PS - I just had a lengthy conversation with John about that ring and hand placement. That has to be the pointer finger, guys. IT HAS TO. Otherwise, ouch. 

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: