Battle Of The Yoda Dongs

Since I know you were wondering, minions: Yes, Saturday Night Live DID copy the cakes in last night's sketch:

It's a perfect wreck-plica!

That's a homemade wreck, though - as was the Cookie Monster - so obviously SNL didn't find those here.

Ahhh, but the last one? THAT was here first. In fact, I posted it all the way back in 2013, during the Andrew Weiner sexting scandal - remember that? Eesh.

Man, I loved that post, too. Cake dongs GALORE. It had to have a parental warning and everything - and you know those are the best ones.

So hey, in honor of SNL giving us the most accidental and unspoken shout-out ever, let's do this: let's rerun my original post, and have a BATTLE OF THE YODA DONGS. Awww yeeeeeah.

Hit it, John!

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Parental Note: In case the title didn't give it away, today's post is not appropriate for children. It's still safe for work, though.

Hallo, my succulent little cyber love bunnies. I... am Carlos Danger. And I have something to show you.

It's my wiener, doing a little dance. IF you know what I mean. [winkwink]

Oh, were you expecting something else? Something more... personal? Well, I'm sorry, my virtual vixens of viscosity, but I don't do that anymore.

That's right, I have changed my nasty, exhibitionist ways! Again! So, no more texted photos of Mr. Nozzle Nose - no sir! Now I will only be sending photos of pure, innocent, everyday smiley things.

Like these turtles:

Or these carrots:

Or the occasional attentive butterfly:

Or Thanksgiving turkey:

Or Christmas stocking:

Yes, instead of sharing my groinal glory with the world, I've come to appreciate travel:

And shooting hoops with the boys:

Fishing:

And even a little outdoor grilling:

Plus I've taken up baseball again:

 Have I mentioned I'm a big Star Wars fan?

I tell you all this, my comely constituents, because I want you all to know that, first and foremost, I am a patriot. A huge, upstanding, balls-to-the-wall, letting-it-all-hang-out, PATRIOT.

So, on behalf of both myself and my talented staff, allow me to end with this:

Oh, and if you could all just slip me your phone numbers on the way out, that'd be swell. Thx.

Thanks to Annette P., Courtney M., Jimmy L., Bijan P., Heather K., Alison L., C., Shelley C., Anony M., Peace, Trish, Gina S., & Jana C. for sharing phone pics we actually want to see. Mostly.

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And now a side-by-side, just cuz:

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Mama MIA!

Tabitha G. ordered a Mario cake for her five-year-old's birthday party.

You know Mario, right?

Yeah. This guy.

And that's when things went horribly, hilariously wrong:

"Did-a somebody call-a a plumber?" [eyebrow waggle]

No, no, take a moment. Soak it alllll in. The leather biker hat. The earring. The collar. The nipple and gratuitous chest hair. Oh yeah, and the fact that his lower half is on backwards. (Why? WHY??)

How did this happen? Why does this art even exist? And seriously, what the heck is going on with that front butt?

The world may never know.

We DO know the bakery replaced The Village Mario here with a free Spongebob cake, though.

So Tabitha, just one question:

Was SpongeBob wearing a gimp suit? :D

*****

Do you shop Amazon? Then how about clicking through my affiliate link to shop? USA, UK, Canada.

 Visiting Amazon through those links will help support the site, and costs you nothing. Thanks, guys!

And from my other blog, Epbot: