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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Feb182019

Battle Of The Yoda Dongs

Since I know you were wondering, minions: Yes, Saturday Night Live DID copy the cakes in last night's sketch:

It's a perfect wreck-plica!

That's a homemade wreck, though - as was the Cookie Monster - so obviously SNL didn't find those here.

Ahhh, but the last one? THAT was here first. In fact, I posted it all the way back in 2013, during the Andrew Weiner sexting scandal - remember that? Eesh.

Man, I loved that post, too. Cake dongs GALORE. It had to have a parental warning and everything - and you know those are the best ones.

So hey, in honor of SNL giving us the most accidental and unspoken shout-out ever, let's do this: let's rerun my original post, and have a BATTLE OF THE YODA DONGS. Awww yeeeeeah.

Hit it, John!

*****

Parental Note: In case the title didn't give it away, today's post is not appropriate for children. It's still safe for work, though.

 

Hallo, my succulent little cyber love bunnies. I... am Carlos Danger. And I have something to show you.

It's my wiener, doing a little dance. IF you know what I mean. [winkwink]

Oh, were you expecting something else? Something more... personal? Well, I'm sorry, my virtual vixens of viscosity, but I don't do that anymore.

That's right, I have changed my nasty, exhibitionist ways! Again! So, no more texted photos of Mr. Nozzle Nose - no sir! Now I will only be sending photos of pure, innocent, everyday smiley things.

Like these turtles:

 

Or these carrots:

 

Or the occasional attentive butterfly:

 

Or Thanksgiving turkey:

 

Or Christmas stocking:

 

Yes, instead of sharing my groinal glory with the world, I've come to appreciate travel:

 

And shooting hoops with the boys:

 

Fishing:

 

And even a little outdoor grilling:

 

Plus I've taken up baseball again:

 

 Have I mentioned I'm a big Star Wars fan?

I tell you all this, my comely constituents, because I want you all to know that, first and foremost, I am a patriot. A huge, upstanding, balls-to-the-wall, letting-it-all-hang-out, PATRIOT.

So, on behalf of both myself and my talented staff, allow me to end with this:

Oh, and if you could all just slip me your phone numbers on the way out, that'd be swell. Thx.

 

Thanks to Annette P., Courtney M., Jimmy L., Bijan P., Heather K., Alison L., C., Shelley C., Anony M., Peace, Trish, Gina S., & Jana C. for sharing phone pics we actually want to see. Mostly.

*****

And now a side-by-side, just cuz:

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (13)

Did you create this post in honor of Anthony Weiner’s release from prison today? What a nice tribute! 😂😂

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKris

“Happy fattiers butt Grad day”? I’m sorry; what?

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

For international viewers, you can see the sketch here:

https://etcanada.com/video/1444028483690/extreme-baking-championship/

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterfrank

Well, this is a challenge. How on earth do I write a poetic response that would be OUT of place on a toilet wall? Here's goes.

There once was a baker from Venus.
Erm, no.

Hmm. Let's try this one:

By Yoda's smile and flags on cakes, they swore
Each other to protect from Turkeys wild
And bats and balls and charcoal grills and more.
"How odd for matrimonial vows," she smiled.
"Most weddings do not mention fishing lines."
Her husband, who she met one Christmas night,
Had wooed her with his basketball sublime,
Had butterflies, and stood in awful fright.
I carrot offer you an explanation
I think I have a dancing cake fixation.

It'll do.

[Editor's note- *slow clap* -john (thoJ)]

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New

Outstanding job!!!!! I can imagine they must have printed out the image for the prop department and, since SNL props have ALL the talent, they made an exact replica!

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterlfie

That's fantastic! Go Jen! I actually submitted the "slugger" cake 😊- so fun to see it again!

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTrish D.

The Yoda one from SNL is much smoother and the original which is much more wrinkly...

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChex Micks

I was also wondering about the Happy Father's Butt Grad Day 🤔

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Yoda: "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?"

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

I almost forgot: never eat when viewing Cake Wrecks! Ignoring this warning could lead to spit all over your monitor, or, as in my case, choking on a biscuit.

"Reeling in the Big One". Heh. It took me a minute to realize that clear stuff coming out of the "pole" was fishing line.

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDancing with Lasagna

I am crying with laughter over poor Yoda. Even my husband cannot unsee this...mwhahahhahaha lol.

February 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

It's Happy Father's BIRTH Grad Day, folks! I had to look at it a time or twelve to figure it out.
How nice of you to do this tribute to Weiner's getting released!

February 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

All I can say is that I'm not sure this post was on the up and up. It seems like it probably violates some kind of penal code. And that's all I have to say about that!

February 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

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