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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct162018

Well, THAT'S Handsy

You know those cringe-inducing pregnancy photos where the mom-to-be's mostly naked and the shirtless dad is standing behind her caressing her belly, and all you can think is how you don't even like going to the pool in a bikini, but here they are, all up in yo' Facebook feed, smirking the smirk of the freshly procreated?

Well, doesn't that sight make you, like, totally hungry?

 

NEEDS MOAR HANDS.

 

If you'll excuse me, Katie A., I'll just be over here screaming forever. (And they're saying my doll-and-butcher-knife mobile is creepy. YEESH.)


PS - I just had a lengthy conversation with John about that ring and hand placement. That has to be the pointer finger, guys. IT HAS TO. Otherwise, ouch. 

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

« The Spoopy Problem With October Birthdays | Main | PLAY OF THE (BAKERY) GAME »

Reader Comments (22)

I know they say many hands makes light work, but I didn't think many hands helped the baby come out any faster.

Or maybe this isn't a pregnant woman at all. Maybe this is a Gypsy fortuneteller whose hands are moving so fast around the crystal ball that it just looks like there's four of them. And the crystal ball is cloudy because the future is so uncertain. And that little dimple in the middle is just an imperfection in the glass. Yeah, that's got to be it!

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Those are right hand index finger rings which, contrary to popular belief, signify that you are simply leaving your left hand free to shovel cake in your face.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Aaaaaaaauuuuugggghhhh

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

This cake is cringey but the only thing that’s making me crazy is the ring! Totally the wrong finger AND hand!!!!

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJulia Adams

There's one way to make this worse: Cut into it and find a doll inside, sort of like a king cake.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAldin

about the hands, the "rings" are on the pointer finger AND on the right hands, even weirder

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNancy L

Ugh. They also appear to have their wedding ring on the wrong fingers. Maybextheir fingers were too deformed to wear them properly.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMark

The more I look at this, the less sense it makes. So those are the mother's and the father's hands overlapping, not just a mutant woman who got her fingers slammed in a door. Sure. I can accept that. But the fabric...what? Why are both pairs of hands coming from inside the fabric? Why does it look like an operating sheet twisted inti a bra? This is actually a case where less clothing would make more visual sense.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Why are the arms under the clothing? Why did the decorator put the hands on the wrong sides of the body? So many questions...

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCDM

And... the rings are on the wrong hand, to boot. Those are the right hands, if you are the belly...

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJulephenia

Wait, aren't the rings on the wrong hands AND the hands upside down?? I'm confused and creeped out.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Also, the ring is on the wrong side. It should be on the other hand. Unless this headless torso and creepy multi-hands are looking at themselves in a mirror.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAndreaClaire

More fingers = more icing. It's all good.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I figured it out. It's an alien about to hatch out. Those finger-ish things on the side? Instead of chest-bursting, this one has appendages that come out the side, first. And you think those are rings? Hah! It's kind of like an egg tooth, a couple hard things that aid in ...hatching. And now that I've completely creeped you out, you can see it, can't you?

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJilara

Pink pet octopuses! Who like a little bling! Obviously!

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

"..smirking the smirk of the freshly procreated" 😂😂😂 I have never laughed harder at a sentence. You are awesome.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Why do the makers of these Baby Belly Cakes even both with breasts? Are they required to establish that the "pregnant cake" is female, or what? No head, no neck, but breasts. Like everyone else, I'm confused. But I'm not creeped out. I just want to eat cake, now.

That doesn't make me weird, does it?

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

I'm surprised they didn't max out the creepy by having a baby handprint reaching out of the womb.

October 16, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Honestly these cakes scare me more than clowns do sometimes and that says alot about the baker lol.

October 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

If you turn it upside down, so the hands are right and the “breasts” become leg stumps...
...it still isn’t any better. Yikes!

October 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I am picturing the baker modeling on her own hands held out in from of herself as if they are holding an imaginary pregnant woman. it puts the rings in the right place (according to the cake) but is very disturbing vis a vis how the world actually works.

October 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterkatie

Hairfish, as long as you're not specifically asking for a slice of the mother's breast, I think you're good.

…I'll show myself out.

October 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

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