My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Our World Cup Runneth Over

Bakers, let's talk about soccer.

Because of all your balls...

...the soccer ball seems to be the most difficult for you guys to grasp.


And believe me, when it comes to ball grasping...

...we want you to have a firm grip on the situation.

(John: "Uh, I think that's supposed to be a basketball cou..."
Me: "SHHHH.")


For example, some of your balls are too fuzzy:


While others are lumpy and uneven:


Some of your balls are too small:


And others... well... are they supposed to be that color?


Look, bakers, we know that Soccer balls come in all shapes and sizes, and each is uniquely beautiful in its own way.

Unless it's this way:

Seriously, man, put that away. You're just embarrassing yourself.


And to all you World Cup fans out there:

Hang loose, you crazy nuts, you!


Thanks go Andrea C., Jennipher D., Charesse, Becky N., Diane L., Amy N., Abi H., & Ilana W. for the balls-to-the-wall excitement.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

« First Person To Comment On The M&Ms Gets To Explain It | Main | Happy Birthday To You, Me, & Maybe A Demon Llama or Two »

Reader Comments (15)

Say the word "balls" one more time Jen. Hahahaha Today's post kept me rolling.

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Corny AND dark. You rock, Jen!

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBiffster

If the goal was to make soccer balls, these bakers have met their match. Whatever they used as models, it's obvious they couldn't draw them correctly. These bakers are not forward thinkers and there is no defense for any of these fiascoes. With awful bakes like these, how do these guys have any net worth?

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

As long as they're liberally slathered in icing, I don't care what color or shape they are!

I can just taste 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 all the way from here! Yum! p-8

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBea

.........Hmm. Why does the next to last wreckfection look misty, inside the lid? Was something breathing in there????

Hehehehe balls hehehehehehe

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

Wow... 😂 these bakers need to actually look at the finished cake.

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterR.

Yes, but are they schweddy?

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I thought #2 was a, um, well, you know what, with a jump rope.

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGrrly Girl

As a baker, I have to say, soccer balls are the absolute worst ball to copy. They are awful. The black spots are pentagons and the white spots are hexagons. If you are off by a millimeter, the entire design is shot. Now, saying that, these are the worst soccer cakes I've ever seen... lol

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMichele M

At least birthday was spelled correctly on the pink and green one that was garnished with green deviled eggs.

June 28, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Well those have to be the scariest balls I have ever seen lol. Oh wreckerators why do you do this?

June 29, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Big Balls

I'm upper, upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
All the social papers say I've got the biggest balls of all
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!
Some balls are held for charity
And some…

Just so you know, picture 5 is a pet toy on a durian.

June 29, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNick Meta

WHY does the penis have a jump rope?!?

July 2, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

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