Ahhhhh....GOOF OFF!!
April 5, 2018 Good morning!
[tapping fingers on keyboard]
[yawning]
[going back to bed]
...
2 hours later
...
I'm up! I'm up. Sort of.
So, as you know, today is International Goof-Off Day. Yep, international law clearly prohibits you from doing anything productive today, so you should tell your boss you'll be napping under your desk and/or playing Angry Birds all afternoon. (Maybe do that via e-mail...sometime tomorrow.)
Other than more naps and possibly making waffles later, *I* plan to celebrate by expending even LESS effort than usual on today's post. I know, I know; you didn't think that was possible.
Well, BEHOLD!!
This is a dinosaur:
;)
This is a basketball:
;)
This is The World's Best Resignation Letter:
;)
This is a divorce cake:
;)
Obviously.
And this is the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake I have ever seen:
;)
(Yes, they even cut holes through the cake tiers for the pillars. We can only hope it was done ironically.)
Nice to see we're not the only ones goofing off around here, eh?
Thanks to Reihonna F., Erin M., Sebastian S., Linda N., & Melanie R. for helping us get in the holiday spirit. May your naps be plentiful, and all your birds extra angry.
[John! Where'd you put the Nutella? It's WAFFLE TIME.]
*****
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (20)
Ohhh I wish that was a real thing.. :(
I must know where they found a miniature chainsaw. This is something I neeeeeeed in my life.
I'm inclined to agree that you were taking Goof-Off Day seriously. (Wait, do you guys take anything seriously?)
I look at these first two and I have to question whether or not these are even cakes. I think you slipped in a couple of fakes to try and catch us off guard. Look at that first one. It looks more like a modeling clay sculpture, that was poorly painted. (So that's a wreck whether it's a cake or not). And the basketball? That looks like cheese balls that went soft, or dyed gnocchi stacked up under that ball "cap".
At least we can say that the last three are cakes. Third one can't be the world's best resignation letter. It has sprinkles and no chocolate. How can it be the best with no chocolate?
And the fourth one, maybe it's a cake for a serial killer. They're always a bit wacko, hence the little colorful pony. I'm not sure I'm glad I "saw" that one. Whoever designed it was a real cut-up. Does anyone want a slice...of cake? That creepy guy in the corner will take sever-al. I'm sure this cake is a real gore-met.
And the last cake. Look, flamingo dancers.
Now that I think about it, with this site, aren't you celebrating National Goof-Off Day every day?
I was really confused about the first cake until I saw what you wrote. I will not disclose what I thought it was initially. Yes, it was that bad.
I'm all for Jimmy's two week notice cake! He was probably told he had to give his notice, "in writing." Which he did. I like Jimmy's way of thinking.
how is that purple wedding cake even standing??? they didn't do a quick clip of the carboard corners or cover them with nice foil...and the pillars they don't look like they are attached to anything, plus the cut holes in the cake to put them through??? and.................the peeps???!!!!!!!!! this should go in the wreckage hall of fame for so many different mixed wreckage on one cake!!
I don't know why but the flamingo cake just SCREAMS Vegas to me. LOL
I want to go to the peep cake wedding. I bet they're fun people.
The first one is proof that dinosaurs went extinct from paper cuts and wallowing in frosting.
The last shows goofing off best with the 3rd layer missing its Hershey t... kisses. Plus it's been gouged and not fixed. My thought is that the Jack Daniels miniatures were supposed to hold up the layers but the wreckorator drank most of them.
Now you see, I didn't see that as Jimmy's 2 week notice of resignation but his boss's effort to soften the blow by giving him 2 weeks notice via the cake rather than firing him verbally.
Is that a wrestling figure on the divorce cake?
Okay..... I HAVE to know what the story is behind the Flamingo wedding. That can't be a professional... can it?
I'm kinda digging the flamingo cake. Obviously its components had meaning for the couple. And how can you go wrong with Kisses all over a cake? Well, almost all over.
Well I like Jimmy's style lol. Quit and to be nice give them all cake. I still wonder if the bride ordered that flamingo cake that way or someone played a prank on her.
" the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake" yes, but also the most glorious.
So, I could totally accept the dinosaur one if it was made by a parent. Professional, no. Parent, yes. I don't know what's holding up the shield (or whatever it is called). Or is it a dish sponge? I think it just needs a bit more vibrant colouring.
@ AngelaS: Maybe the mini chain saw came from the "Lumberjack Barbie" collection??? But seriously, if you really want one, you can find one here:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/588114469/dollhouse-miniature-fairy-garden?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_e-art_and_collectibles-dolls_and_miniatures-miniatures-other&utm_custom1=ee195b56-0b12-43cf-b3e8-615282a48b8d&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIp7D0hLul2gIVQ5F-Ch3oQQMgEAQYASABEgIPnfD_BwE
At last on the divorce cake (football players are not heroes to everyone, evidently) the cupcakes are honest cupcakes, not dolled up as something else.
You know you're an avid reader of cake wrecks when you look at Hershey's Kisses and you think of poop.
Poise. Finesse. Gall. When you can present that first cake to a child on his birthday as a "dinosaur" cake. ("No, mommy, that's a flip-top turtle!")
Composure. Self-control. When you can look at that second cake and not immediately *need* to go to the corner store for some cheesy poofs.
Optimism. Hope. Nitwitted-ness. When you can present your employee with "two weeks' notice" of their termination in cake form and expect them to come to work the next day. And the one after that.
Poise. Finesse, Composure. When you DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PUT DOWN YOUR PURSE to chainsaw that cheating, lying, *#@$%&*!! Or when you ride away on your winged blue pony. With your cupcake.
Blindness. Oblivion. (Courtesy of your I.Q. or of the Jack Daniels). When you can look at Hershey's kisses depicted as flamingo poops, and still eat them. (I swear, I keep reading that as "flaming poops.")
Oh, who am I kidding? The chocolates on the other tiers would totally be fair game.