My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

With Apologies To All The Anns Out There

Bakers, I know today's topic is a toughie. Heck, after gathering all of these photos even *I* can't remember how to spell it. But that's why I'm here. To "help." And because going anywhere else requires pants.

Right. Here we go. Metaphorically, I mean. Just wipe that "pants" imagery from your mind. Also my use of the word "wipe" just now - that was an unfortunate stream of consciousness thing. Don't say "stream." Crap. Um... look, my number 1 priority here is that you know I DON'T PEE MY PANTS.

Phew! Glad I nipped that in the butt before it got weird.


Great. Now how do I segue this back to anniversary cakes?

7 Handy Steps To Writing "Anniversary"

Eh, that works.


1. First and foremost, make sure you're spelling the right word.

This is not the right word.


2. Watch out for abbreviations.
Believe me, nobody likes sharing their anniversary with another woman.

Especially this "Ann" character, who really gets around.



3. Next, WE SPELL.

But not like this.


If you're feeling less than confident, here's a hint: the correct spelling has MORE than 7 letters:


...but less than 13:


And this is right out:





Besides, cheating can lead to this situation:

Er, I meant the cake, but if you think about it, I suppose cheating *could* lead to 60 weddings. You know, if you're really committed... to the opposite of that.

I blame Ann.


5. If you are going to leave the word off, at least get the numbereth righteth:

1th, 2th, 3th times a lady...


6. And if you have the penmanship of a serial killer, maaaaybe rethink this particular career path:

Or at least stick to Halloween cakes.

And Boss's Day. Boss's Day works, too.


7. When all else fails...

Go with Batman.


Thanks to Dina M., Keith M., Robbie R., Anony M., Tori R., Nathan R., Vera L., Jennifer K., Sarah R., Corinna K., Z.C., & Adam M. for the reminder that your anniversary cake should always be itself, unless it can be Batman. Then it should be Batman.


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Reader Comments (31)

"Happy Amivecsaroy?" I'm sure that's not right. Though I can get behind "anniversarary".

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDB

There once was a woman named Ann
A really huge wedding A fan
She found it quite necessary
To enjoy anniversararies
With every wed woman and man

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Would this Ann they are referring to happen to be the legendary "Gnome Ann" perhaps?

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKH

All the words in the first one are spelled right. Did you include this one by accident?

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBernadette

Ann is a very common name for triplets, often a result of running out of names, "Let's see, um, Drusilla, Ethelred, an'''... um, an'...." "Why don't we just put 'Ann'?"
Cecelia and John owned Ceejay's Wedding Chapel and Duct Cleaning, Inc.
Joe and Corrina took their vacation visiting a brewery on the Scottish coast.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

The eighth cake reminded me of a news of the weird story this weekend about a woman suing her husband because she was wife 25 out of 28, citing 17 other wives that she found.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

With that (lol) "60th WEDDING", I guess we have to hand it to them, for staying power......and I'm a little curious about the two, tiny shiny little pill - shaped things nestled among the sugar, maybe a vitamin, and one for "staying power"?
(Of COURSE I'm not suggesting anything! I don't even know them! Gosh!)

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Go with Batman! Ha ha ha!

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShay

The one you say is "right out" is actually spelled right, just with slightly off handwriting.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I was pretty much rolling on the floor by the last one.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Bakers need literacy tests.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I like the Batman "love you" one!

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

Apologies not necessary Jen (yes, 'tis I, Anne (not Annie as most people pronounce it just 'cuz it's spelled with an 'e' at the end.) Not usually a problem, except for a background check for a job came back that I was a felon...see THAT Ann had no 'e' at the end. I'm no felon lol.
@SuBee, love the poem. As long as they promise cake, wrecked or not, and especially chocolate, I'll be glad to attend every wedding as an official Cake Tester!

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

@Bernadette: The first one is supposed to be for the parents’ 40th *Anniversary*, not 40th Birthday, hence its inclusion.

@Classic Steve: No, the “right out” cake clearly has an “m” as the second letter instead of two “n”s, as it should be. There’s definitely just one line between the two humps, so it’s not two print “n”s close together, and there aren’t enough humps or spaces for it to be two cursive “n”s either. Also, what should be an “r” is definitely not a correct cursive “r” – it’s either a print “r” linked in with the cursive for some reason, or it’s a cursive “c”.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSoonerGirl

On that last one, I had to look twice to realize that it actually was Batman. At first glance it looked like some creature from Star Trek (the original series) was throwing up its lunch. Or maybe I need new glasses.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJules

If the first two happen to share the same birthday and decided to get hitched on their birthday...then again the baker still misses the anniversay part!

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterWildcatMo

Today is my parents 47th anniversary and mom's middle name is Ann. Such a perfect post for today!

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRosedragon

With the names of two women on the cake what would be worse? If one of the names was the first wife and the other the second????? OOPS!!!

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

I am laughing so hard at "anniversarary" that I can't even finish my dinner. :D

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

The first cake looks a lot like my parents in their wedding photo. I think my mom had that same headpiece. I don't know where it is now. My sister wore the dress for her wedding (nine years ago!), but not the headpiece. Too Sixties, I guess.

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

The handwriting on the cherry cake looks like the baker had decorated one too many that day...

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Why can't they just Google?!? I know they have a phone nearby, just Google it! Okay I feel better now LOL

April 24, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAmbrosia

Ann sure does get around. I wonder how much 60 weddings cost these days? Cause wow lol.

April 25, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Everette, E verette, Ann & verette & Sara? Write it pretty enough maybe no one will notice if any of it is spelled correctly or not.

April 25, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

Don't worry too much about spelling, as long as wreckorators continue to use cursive on their cakes. It's not like kids will be able to read it, anyway, since cursive is no longer being taught in most schools. I doubt wreckorators will ever turn to printing, either, as that would require lifting the icing tip from the cake, and repositioning it in the right place to make the next letter...and it's not like THAT's ever gonna happen. That's EFFORT. Plus a little SKILL. (Please note that this comment applies only to the Untied Stakes of A Murica.)

April 25, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

That serial kilercake looks as if it was made of beef stew and mashed potoatoes. Blick.

"Another Anne"

April 25, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I object to your calling a #4 a cheater. They were just saying "Happy 15th, a-hole" I think it belongs with the birthday cakes. :D

April 25, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJessabean

Out 10st anniversary is coming up. I now want to order a Batman cake to celebrate!

April 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKara



April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFord Prefect

@jen ... I am howling and crying alternately. My cats are puzzled and perhaps a bit worried. I should be more considerate.

That said, I'm glad I'm not married so I have NO chance of getting one of these wrecks.

April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Am I the only one who noticed that cake #6 seemed to think that that Valerie and someone named Aniversanany were celebrating a shared birthday? It seems both Jen and everyone who has commented so far was too busy looking at the crazy mispelling of Anniversary, that they didn't notice something even sillier: that the baker thought that "Aniversanany" was the name of a person.

July 10, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterguest

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