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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun102016

Reprehensible, Immoral, Also Hilarious

Warning: "Seriously, John? You want me to put a warning on this?! This is the internet, man!"
"Fine."
You have been warned.

 

Minions, I don't want you going off half-cocked today.

You should always be FULLY cocked, when possible.
Especially if your last name is Cox.

 

Or if you don't understand why people are sniggering in the spice aisle:

"I hear it's good in tacos and... WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING?!"

 

Look, my point is, I don't think this fig leaf is working:

 

So the next time you want to make a doggy cookie, bakers, maybe, you know, watch your positioning:

0.O

 

Thanks to Susan N., Samantha, Kay M., Sarah D., & Kathy W. for all the dirty, dirty jokes we're going to have to moderate today. Aww YEEEEAH.

*****

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Reader Comments (30)

The "fig" leaf!!! My goodness --- the "fig" leaf!!!!!! I'm dyin'
Thanks for the warning but you know, that never stopped anyone from scrolling. LOL

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

That little fondant boat is actually kind of cute.

The decorator misheard - they actually wanted a cake of the COOK Islands, not, you know . . . ;)

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

It sure looks like it is, but please tell me that dog in the last one is SOLID ICING...

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Bwah ha ha ha ha! Nope. No dirty joke from me, 'cause I'm a lay-dee. No wait, a laidee--wait that's not better...

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

"It's good on tacos"... Snortle... You are whistling dirty tunes, Jen. I like that.

As for that last thing? I do believe I've seen that Hentai... O.O

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Me? Go off half- ????? I don't have one to give half OF! Lol! Love that Mr.Gingerbread adopted a new pet. Looks like a cocker spaniel! Cute little thing! I wonder if he can teach it to sit up and beg? Or play dead...? Boy, we can go around the block with this all day, but I think I should stop while I'm ....well. (I refuse to say "a head", okay?) =^-.-^=

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

When faced with anxiety
Relax with yoga
Let's all try down-facing dog

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

OMG this post gave me much needed giggles XD

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

What exactly is the seasoning flavored like for real???

I'm not sure that reversing the positioning of the dog would be any better...

Also, *snickersnort* @BADKarma for Hentai, @sendingtheclowns for "cocker spaniel", and SuBee for the haiku! LMAO

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLadybugFaerie

@SuBee, sounds good. As long as we put our fig leaves in the right spot. Now my coworkers want to know why I'm snickering and giggling over here and want some of what I'm having. They asked for it, I sent it and now we're all giggling. I've just recruited a few more devoted Wreckies!

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Dogs always stick their noses in embarrassing places.

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenternewbie

I couldn't resist looking this product up since someone asked..... the cock flavored spice...that is a palm tree on the bottle it is supposed to give a Caribbean taste to your food!!!!!

it is sold on amazon /uk

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlibby

There once was a poor man named Cox
Who, instead of a hat, wore a box
not on but Over his head.
For he famously said
"This way I don't have look at all the stupid stuff they do with my name on Cake Wrecks."

No, wait. It doesn't rhyme or scan. I really meant...

Those people with such impure thoughts
Have traduced that poor fellow Cox.
With icing and cake
they proceeded to make
The most of the fact the it sounds like something ribald like cocks.

Wait, wait! That doesn't quite scan either.

There once was a Rooster named Cox
Who ordered a cake in a box,
With its questionable word,
He recalled he's a bird
And said "It's a fine cake for cocks."

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Maureen S. gets this week's award for the most realistic perspective on the cakewrecks readership....

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin M

The Cock flavour spices are in the Caribbean- for chicken. Even better- there is one called "Spicy Cock".

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkdrubbishbin

Penny Loafers and Bobby ...

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterprophet

Does anyone know what the cake with the adorable boat was/is supposed to be?
I'm going to let everyone know how old I am by bringing up an old-timely actor-Wally Cox. After a particularly enlightening visit to an older cousin, my brother and I learned that roosters aren't the only cocks on this planet. The aforementioned Mr Cox was a frequent guest on those old black-and-white panel game shows. My brother couldn't control himself. Every time the name Wally Cox was spoken, we would go into fall-in-the-floor giggle fits. This went on for months until the same cousin introduced us to the sultry Hawaiian crooner, Dong Ho.
It was a simpler time.

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Thanks for the giggles. Still trying to figure out that that giant poo pile with one leaf is supposed to be......

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

OK, the boat cake...now we all know what the thing in the middle LOOKS like...but what in the heck is it SUPPOSED to be? It doesn't resemble anything I know of, except something phallic. Maybe the customer went to the bakery and said, "I want a sheet cake with a ship cruising along the coast, a with a giant poop-deck!", but the baker misunderstood?

June 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

Why go for any old chicken seasoning, when you can have single-gender seasoning? Hen flavoured seasoning. Cock flavoured seasoning.

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFelicity

Oh the laughter and tears right now. Oh how on earth could they put a leaf on that monstrous uh rock? Lol cannot stop the laughing.

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

That last one... sickest 69 EVER!!

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

Where I work, we have 3 doctors in a group practice, and their names are Poon, Tang, and Cox. I am not making this up!

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

@ newbie -- it's not a watch dog .... it's a crotch dog.

@ jen -- That fig leaf comment just killed me (and scared my cats)!

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

@ drgns4vr -- Bravo (or Brava, as appropriate)!

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

I was thinking it was meant to be a tree, but maybe it's a lighthouse with its lights off and the boat's about to crash into the cocks? I mean rocks?

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFelicity

Bonnie, I'm thinking supposed to be a lighthouse? That down facing dog is just killing me.

June 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStogoe

So, I investigated Libby's mention that the 'cock-flavoured seasoning' is on sale on Amazon.uk, and not only is it, but George Takei commented on it. I'd love to think that he discovered it because of Cakewrecks...

June 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

The best part about the "fig leaf" lovely is that the cake seems to represent the Orkney Islands and the ... tower ... is no doubt a reference to "the Old Man of Hoy". Interesting that Hoy itself isn't there....and that Kirkwall is on the wrong side of Mainland Orkney, but I see what they were going for. I think.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQuaxo

I'm dying over here 'cock flavoured seasoning' wtf is that a typo for chicken flavored seasoning or something *looks at it again and bursts out laughing* I know that it comes from our absolutely polite and lovely European neighbors from across the sea (you can tell because of the extra 'u' in 'flavoured') but please just tell me that similar to 'bangers and mash' and it means something else entirely!

July 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

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