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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar172016

St. Patrick's Intervention

It's bad enough that so many St. Patrick's cakes are shaped like beer, bakers:

 

Do you have to actually be drunk while decorating them, too?

*hic* "I hash an eye-shing bag. WHEEEEEE!!"

 

"yerp. LOOKS GOOD."

 

"I like to make 'em like a chorus line of cacta... cactses.. cactusesesess... cacti."

 

"Guys. Guys. Guys. Check it.

"I put lil' HATS on this cake's BOOBS."

 

And to the baker who was so proud of this penmanship:

They actually asked for "Happy St. Patrick's Day."

BUT I LIKE IT.

 

Thanks to Gina L., Gina M., Doug G., Dara M., Holly F., & Shannon M. for my new favorite holiday abbreviation. HAPPY PAPRACK TO ALL!

*****

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« Friday Favs 3/18/16 | Main | If St. Patrick's Day Was A Horror Movie »

Reader Comments (25)

And, if your sloshed baker makes a brilliant discovery, will he shout, "PAPRIKA!"?

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

When drunken guys are wrecking, sure ‘tis something one won’t buy
As you gaze upon the frosting, you can hear the angels cry
When Irish boobs wear bowlers on this happy Paprack’s Day
And when shamrocks look like cacti, you can’t give these cakes away

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I think "Happy Paprack" ranks right up there with "Happy Falker Satherhood" on the list of Holidays We Never Knew We Needed, BUT DO!!!

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Hee! Happy Paprack to all my Cakewrecks friends!

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Poprock!!! *remembers the sizzle on her tongue*

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

@SuBee....LMAO. Perfect! Thank you! And yes, now I have your lyrics stuck in my head, love it!

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

@SuBee.. Too funny - as always!

Wishing all a most Happy Paprack !!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFMAO !

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

You've got it backwards. Enough beer, and these cakes look fiiiiiiiiiiine!

Happy St. Paprack's Day, everybody! Here's hoping your cakes taste better than they look!

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

Today is my husbands day. Patrick Ryan McCarthy. Doesn't get much more Irish than that. Except now he will forever be known as Paprack Ryan McCarthy. Lol. Thank you!

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

"When Irish Eyes Are Smiling" brings tears to some eyes, while these specimens bring something quite different to me, and has nothing to do with my eyes. And no, I don't suppose the wreckorators HAVE to be drunk for these to look this way. That could simply be one of the perks of the trade....I'm picturing a late-shift free-for-all among fun-loving, probably young folks just killing time {and murdering baked goods} while the boss isn't around. Nothing I wouldn't have done myself if I'd had the chance...and to think: they get paid, anyway!!! I missed my calling! =^~.~^=

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Oh Sweet Mother of Mary! Please tell me that second one wasn't picked up and paid for! Sure and I'm cry in' in me Guinness. Tis a sad Papracks day yet I wish you all to be merry. (Actually saw a stripper wearing those little derbies once. 'Twas long ago when a lass left a little something to the imagination.)

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Being of Irish descent, I can say St Paprack was actually St Patrick's younger, obnoxious, lesser known brother, who the snakes took hostage as they were driven out of Ireland. Some suspect that St Patrick actually orchestrated the abduction in order to be rid of St Pap forever....

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

That first cake looks like the container of cottage cheese that had been shoved in the back of my refrigerator for eight months.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

"Happy Paprack"... I think you have the title for your next book, Jen.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

...On another note, it's a good thing the penmanship on that last cake was so neat, because nothing ruins a holiday like a bad Paprack Smear.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

"Happy Paprack" is actually the traditional greeting at the yearly gynecologist convention.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

This is my birthday, so I've had green St. Patrick's Day birthday cakes my whole life (57 cakes as of today's). My mom always makes them, so they're fantastic...but I drank a little too much wine a few years ago and called the leprechauns on top "lesbians," and it stuck. I now have lesbians atop my St. Patrick's Day birthday cakes. Lesbians smoking pipes. My mom is great.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

I feel like I found the end of the rainbow but instead of a pot of gold there was just two puddles of green where the Leprechauns melted... RIP Leprechauns. We'll try to make your grave marker mildly shamrock shaped.... and I do stress mildly.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

too............many..........cupcake........."cakes"

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJus

I swear i thought that said Happy Poprock. i was so confused.

March 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Oh that Paprack cake made me think of the gyno for some reason lmao. And eeek to it as well. So very hilarious lol.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Paprack isn't half bad, considering how one of my nephews, when he was about three, pronounced his cousin Patrick's name... Craptick.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

Paprack: the holder in the lab where the cervical smears are placed for testing.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

I read the last one as "Pop-crack"...
... I really don't want to think about that too hard.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered Commenter0_0

Love the drunken commentary, Jen! The comments are especially funny today too! Shirley, SuBee, BADKarma, and Cali Kath, your comments are especially full of win!

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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