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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Friday Favs 3/18/16

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:


Just when you thought your baker couldn't give three sh*ts about your order:



And while we're counting, here's my number one wreck this week:

Which ironically would NOT be #1 if it WAS a #1.

Diggin' those stickers randomly plopped on, too.


Acceptable Occasions To Serve Cake:

- birthdays
- weddings
- other celebrations

UNacceptable Occasions To Serve Cake:

- Natural disasters
- Weight Watchers' meetings
- Nancy Reagan dying

"And after cake and ice cream, we'll have the Memorial Conga Line past the Tribute Glow Stick and Rave Party. Everyone have their Eulogy Kazoos ready?"


This wedding wreck caused quite a stir on the bakery's Facebook page (which I had to check since I couldn't believe it was professional), so I assume I'll be getting a take-down request soon:

So look fast!

I will say those new reaction options on Facebook really came back to bite these guys. You can delete comments, but not all the Angry faces. Ha!

And to you later-in-the-day readers, please to enjoy this lovely photo of Epcot.


And finally, Hector writes, "I figured, only four words - how could they screw it up?"

This is how, Hector:



Thanks to Danica M., Diego C., Teresa S., Tracy L., & Hector R. for Gooing the extra mile this week.


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Reader Comments (45)

… uh, maybe "Gooing" is in reference to the cake above it…???

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

OK, can I order a Eulogy Kazoo on Amazon? Must.Have.One.Now....

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

#1: Why are there EYES on the poop? Whyyyyyyy?

#2: Seriously, you don't know which way the number 1 goes? You figured since Zoey's a baby, she's not going to care what the cake looks like, only what it feels like smushed all over her face, right?

#3: I agree. Portrait cakes are acceptable for occasions like birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and possibly retirement, but memorials? Besides which, it's not even a very flattering portrait.

#4: Someone needs a photo reference guide of what a wedding cake should look like. Spoiler: ooey gooey frosting isn't it.

#5: Except for the spelling, this is a very nice cake. So serve the pieces with the misspellings first. And hey, enjoy Disneyland, Hector!

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

Am I the only one who really wants a link to that Facebook page?

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

I don't even want to know how you goo to Disneyland, but I think some of it got on the immediately preceding cake....

And, what are those things making up Nancy Reagan's necklace? Dog treats?

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

The Nancy Reagan one is not cake, but an elaborate doughnut from Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, Oregon (you can see the beginning of the word 'Voodoo' in the background). They do that as an homage every time someone well-known dies. They had one earlier this year for David Bowie, for example, and also one for Alan Rickman. The doughnut is not meant to be eaten or sold; it is merely their way of honoring the deceased (and displays incredible artistry, I've always thought) & is displayed on their Instagram account (I know because that's where I saw it.)

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

It's not often I look at a cake and lose interest in eating cake (even here, I can look past a lot of unappetizing subject matter if it means cake and frosting), but the slimy spiky frosting on that wedding wreck really make me not want to eat cake at all! Good job, guys, my healthy eating plan thanks you.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

That fourth cake: such spiky, runny, ivory buttercream frosting barely covering the cake; such interesting gold (balls? truffles?) lining the bottom with three matching (and cracked) gold roses in the middle. I still can't figure out if that topper is a wedding couple under an umbrella, or a wine glass, or if they are on a swing...

Nancy Reagan: Your kids made you a macaroni necklace, too?! How sweet of you to wear it on your cake! (But then, I understand you were a pretty sweet lady. RIP Nancy, the world will miss you.)

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

I never get to catch the ones that get yanked, so yea? Even when my strawberry cream cheese frosting kept separating it still looked better than that, which is saying something (I'm an engineer that can't paint or frost to save my life, so really for that to be pro is kind of scary).

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterbelblue

Good call re: checking the "professional" origins of that wedding cake. I guess professionals are amateur at some point so...maybe...this ooey-goo(ing to Disneyland!)ey mess is in that am-transferring-to-pro time? No rationale for the 3 poops cake. No. Reason.At.All.
Have a great weekend! Eat cake.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Trista - YES. I just want it so I can, uh...order my own cake from them...

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I think the wedding cake represents two things. First, the unique and rare find of true love is symbolized by the use of rare gold pearls. That this love is meant to last forever is indicated by the gold roses. As we know, real roses are dipped in gold and presented to a loved one to denote that very thing. The second element here celebrates how the couple met. They love bats and were both budding chiropterologists who first encountered each other in a cave. Hence, to memorialize that momentous meeting, their cake is iced as guano.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterThe Phoenix

The best part about the three poops cookie cake is that freshness is guaranteed!

Because nothing's worse than three stale poops on your giant cookie.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

I always hate it when I tune in too late to see a cake photo that has been removed. So, for those of you who miss the wedding cake and are left with only Epcot, it is a single tier with a cheap plastic topper and some kind of gold balls around the base, but what really makes it notable is the icing, which looks exactly like mucus. It is a coughing, sneezing, eyes watering, nose running, you wish you could sleep so you never have to think about it again mess. Now you know.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercathy

That wedding cake looks like it was iced with Vaseline !

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGayle

*saves the wedding cake photo for posterity*

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered Commenter???

On the first one...the "freshness guaranteed" label almost seems intentional! haha

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca C.

I kind of wish I would have gotten Epcot instead of that mess of a "wedding cake". That looks like someone took banana pudding, shoved it up their nose and sneezed it out.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah W

Nancy Reagan "cake" is actually a donut. VooDoo Donuts do a memorial doughnut every time a celebrity dies. They are paying homage to that celebrity. It is not meant for consumption.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I know what they were gooooooing for on #4 -- the extended OOOOOO of excitement!!! Have fun at Disneyland!! :D

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Can I order the "And after cake and ice cream, we'll have the Memorial Conga Line past the Tribute Glow Stick and Rave Party. Everyone have their Eulogy Kazoos ready?" funeral for myself, please?

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Is Slimer involved with the gooing? Love the "part 'Frozen' part 'Little Mermaid '" decor on that cake.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Maybe a Scandinavian ordered the Disneyland Cake! On second thought, it probably would have said "Yoor Gooing" if that were true. Never mind!

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Would the wreckorator of the wedding wreck be the person whose name is in the photo's url? That's a great url, by the way.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFelix1140

I love your wit! Thanks for all your awesome posts.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

Eulogy kazoos???? Best. Phrase. Ever!

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I don't know, I kind of like that wedding caulk ... er, cake, I mean wedding cake!

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

It was supposed to say "Your gooing too Disneyland."

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLawlady

The real problem with the Nancy Reagan cake is that it is CLEARLY Nancy Pelosi. Come on, baker.

Also, pretty sure the wedding cake is iced with pudding. What a waste of pudding.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterI Love the '80s

That's not a photo of all of Epcot, it's just the first ride in the park, and it's called Spaceship Earth! You should know better! You call yourself a Disney fan?!?!1

Oh, wait, the cake photo wasn't taken down yet. Never mind. :-)

Also, I think it's the googly eyes that really make the first one so funny. Although, shouldn't that be photo #2 in this post??? <g>

(Also, for the humor-impaired, the first paragraph of this comment was meant sarcastically.)

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Oookay, Poopsie, here's yoor cookie! Specially made, don'tcha know! Now, who oordered the Loch Ness Monster fraudulent photo commemorative cake? Uh-huh, that's yoors, dear.

Now, what's next? Ooh my...what? It's not a cake, dear? Doonuts? Voodoo? Who doo? You doo? All righty then. I have to say, that decoration is pretty hard too look at, there. Ooh my! It's a wedding cake? Did you sneeze while you were frosting it, dear? Is it a first wedding? Well then, I suppose...

Now that last one--perfect! That's a good job there, yah?

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

I think the couple on the pudding-iced cake (although guano is also a possibility) are standing under a chuppah.
Voodoo Donuts is showing their artistry on that NR tribute? Hmm, artistry is not the word I would have used here...

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Hm, I did find a Tracy Lynn pro baker om FB, but it features great cakes, not this , thing, (and yes, I saved the picture ;-) ) Getting more curious by the minute, but I'm glad I saw it, usually I'm to late!

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTala

Someone needs to send me a Eulogy Kazoo posthaste.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh

A voodoo doughnut seems immensely appropriate for Nancy Reagan.

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

I wonder if it's vanilla mucus or mint?

March 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Hmm thought the Nancy Regan was a tribute donut and not a cake. As for the rest of those.. good gosh who puts eyes on poo? Yuck lol.

March 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

#4: "Macarthur Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet, green icing flowing down... Someone left the cake out in the rain; I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took (not) so long to make it..."

Oh, and I think #3 is a tribute doughnut done by Voodoo. Just in case no one else pointed it out.

March 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think the wedding cake baker ran out of buttercream and substituted Miracle Whip (and put a ring of Greek olives around the bottom).

March 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

The wedding cake hasn't been taken down yet! Do can you tell us the baker?

As others have noted, wrecky tributes are a Voodoo Doughnuts thing.

March 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCraig T

I kind of wish I would have gotten Epcot instead of that mess of a "wedding cake". That looks like someone took banana pudding, shoved it up their nose and sneezed it out.

If you really want to see what that is like, then Google "strawberry shnortcake" - if you dare!

March 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenteriMark

That Nancy is from Voodoo Doughnuts of Portland, Oregon. They do tribute doughnuts for late celebrities.

March 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

@ jen -- I was already howling with laughter and crying by the time I got to your fans' comments--very well done. It was your first comment about my baker not giving three sh*ts that got me going.

All the rest of you, amazing ... cumulative effect is that the base of my skull hurts (happens whenever I laugh to hard and long <g>).

Finally, I was cracked up by the fact that the animals on the "1" cake were animals from the zoo ... the cake was for Zoey. Hmmmm, a zooey cake for Zoey. Somebody is getting bit literal, don'tcha think?

March 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Baker #2, you had *eno* job... ;-)

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterReo

Huh! I didn't know that you could ice a cake with bacon grease!

April 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterA K

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