Purse Your Lips; It's National Handbag Day!
October 10, 2016 "Encounter In A NYC Alley"
A play in one act.
***
"Hey pretty lady, how 'bout a genuine Prawda hand bag?
;)
"100% genuine! Just six hundred dollars!"
"Wait, don't walk away! Hey, mister, don't you want your pretty wife to look pretty? Don't you love your wife? Doesn't your wife deserve Guchi?"
;)
"Five hundred is my final offer, but my kids won't eat tonight!"
[chasing after couple]
"I see you have a discerning eye. Only the best for such distinguished customers!"
;)
"Donny and Bork! $300 but my mom won't get her hip replacement!"
[grabbing wife by the ankles]
"Think of my sick cats! This is a genuine Coatch bag! Seven thousand dollars retail!"
;)
"For you? $200. I'm literally giving it to you for that! I'm losing money!"
[wife now dragging seller across the sidewalk]
"Okay! I was saving this one for my cousin who has rabies but I'm willing to give it to you for just $100. It's a genuine Louise Vitton! You can tell by the zipper!"
;)
...
"FINE! If you'll leave us alone, I'll give you ten bucks for the bag."
"You have literally murdered my children. This is an INSULT. I can't even LOOK at you anymore.
"...Gimme twelve and I'll throw in a free pair of Lowbootins."
"Deal."
;)
Thanks to Kimberly C., Lourdes, Ruby R., Anony M., Sarah D., & Jill D. for knowing these shoes were made for wreckin' - and that they were supposed to be shoes in the first place. 0.o
*****
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Reader Comments (31)
Those Lowbootins are fabulous. How can I get a pair?
The first two really aren't all that bad you know.
Are those leeches on that white and black one?
The third one - at first I thought it had screwdrivers or antennas shoved into the top, and I thought, "WHY??"
Then I realized they were metallic candles. Either way, that's one ugly cake purse.
For some reason, to me the fifth cake looks like it was made with chewed bubble gum. *hurk*
(Last specimen) "supposedtobestillettoheels": I am SO thankful for the photo credits! I was about to call the ASPCA an report that a shaggy brown dog was face down in a bucket of mud about to drown.
That was in Macarthur Park., and now I know I'll never wear those shoes again.
Ohh, nooo....
=^-.-^=
Coincidentally I watched a Fresh Prince ep. where a guy tries to sell Carlton a fake Gucci bag. (72 Hrs.)
That cupcake shoe... thing... looks like they had a great idea in their head that is just logistically impossible.
...And here, I thought that last one was a Jimmi Chew...
Ohmygod! The last 2!! Thanks for making the theme so clear because I would NEVER have seen a purse in that mess. I thought it was a crab! Also thought the heel of the "pump" was a pretzel. Wow!
As usual, the narrative is brilliant. Thanks!
That's "Jimmy CHOO" to you! XD
Maybe if I knew what the real bags are supposed to look like, this post would be funnier to me.
The second one is not bad considering.... but OMG the last two are horrendous D:
I agree; the 1st 2 aren't so bad. But that shoe..oh my goodness!!
maybe I just need new glasses but what's wrong with the second one?
....AND Teresa officially wins the "Captain Obvious is Oblivious" award today.
I believe the intent is to show the de-evolution in reference to the amount discounted in the captions :)
Shows what I know about fashion - I thought the draw bridge needed help getting back up in the last photo.
And why is the "Donny and Bork" sitting on a pile of lunch meat? Just better and better! LOL!
As I was checking my Pathetek Philippe watch, I realized that John knows all the top back alley and car trunk brands!
Let them eat purse.
The first one isn't so bad. It's kind of an ugly pattern, but at least you can tell it's a purse!
I would hate to see whatever is inside that black and white "Donny and Bork" bag. It looks as though someone stabbed it with a bunch of knitting needles and the poor thing is bleeding all over the cake stand.
Finally, that plastic-y yellow and orange one looks like a clown with no eyes. Creepy!
Hrmm the first two I thought were actually pretty decent, I'd pay money for those, but then they moved on from there yikes.....
That third one, the Donny & Bork, looks like it's sitting on cow entrails. Just sayin' ;)
i was reading somewhere that the fake shoe industry (i guess that's the right word) is worth $12 Billion. fake purses only worth $70 Million.
One bag has a serious case of leeches lol. As for that shoe cake I would have to wonder if they have ever seen heels before.
And BADKarma wins the "I know everything so don't bother saying different!" award!
IS there a right side on your bed, Miss Congeniality???
I believe BADKarma was referring to the fact that Teresa did not seem to get the very clever pun in its post. Please, let us not let unpleasantness break out on the CakeWrecks forum.
I'm with you, Allison. When a flooded street becomes a political argument, i's time to have ONE place to take shelter and just laugh. A little snark is essential but being mean? Why? IT'S CAKE, people, just really awful messed up cakes (except on Sundays)
A note to everyone commenting that 'the first two aren't too bad'. I think that is intentional. The point of the story is that the cakes get progressively worse, culminating in the dreadful shoes.
Bork bork you are Donny me a frighten
The second to last one looks like a crab with an umbilicus (navel).
You laugh, but I actually had a customer ask me if we sold "them Donny and Bork bags" one time when I worked at Macy's!