My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Purse Your Lips; It's National Handbag Day!

"Encounter In A NYC Alley"
A play in one act.


"Hey pretty lady, how 'bout a genuine Prawda hand bag?

"100% genuine! Just six hundred dollars!"


"Wait, don't walk away! Hey, mister, don't you want your pretty wife to look pretty? Don't you love your wife? Doesn't your wife deserve Guchi?"

"Five hundred is my final offer, but my kids won't eat tonight!"


[chasing after couple]

"I see you have a discerning eye. Only the best for such distinguished customers!"

"Donny and Bork! $300 but my mom won't get her hip replacement!"


[grabbing wife by the ankles]

"Think of my sick cats! This is a genuine Coatch bag! Seven thousand dollars retail!"

"For you? $200. I'm literally giving it to you for that! I'm losing money!"


[wife now dragging seller across the sidewalk]

"Okay! I was saving this one for my cousin who has rabies but I'm willing to give it to you for just $100. It's a genuine Louise Vitton! You can tell by the zipper!"


"FINE! If you'll leave us alone, I'll give you ten bucks for the bag."

"You have literally murdered my children. This is an INSULT. I can't even LOOK at you anymore.

"...Gimme twelve and I'll throw in a free pair of Lowbootins."



Thanks to Kimberly C., Lourdes, Ruby R., Anony M., Sarah D., & Jill D. for knowing these shoes were made for wreckin' - and that they were supposed to be shoes in the first place. 0.o


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (31)

Those Lowbootins are fabulous. How can I get a pair?

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The first two really aren't all that bad you know.

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

Are those leeches on that white and black one?

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

The third one - at first I thought it had screwdrivers or antennas shoved into the top, and I thought, "WHY??"

Then I realized they were metallic candles. Either way, that's one ugly cake purse.

For some reason, to me the fifth cake looks like it was made with chewed bubble gum. *hurk*

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

(Last specimen) "supposedtobestillettoheels": I am SO thankful for the photo credits! I was about to call the ASPCA an report that a shaggy brown dog was face down in a bucket of mud about to drown.
That was in Macarthur Park., and now I know I'll never wear those shoes again.
Ohh, nooo....

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Coincidentally I watched a Fresh Prince ep. where a guy tries to sell Carlton a fake Gucci bag. (72 Hrs.)

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterM. E.

That cupcake shoe... thing... looks like they had a great idea in their head that is just logistically impossible.

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

...And here, I thought that last one was a Jimmi Chew...

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Ohmygod! The last 2!! Thanks for making the theme so clear because I would NEVER have seen a purse in that mess. I thought it was a crab! Also thought the heel of the "pump" was a pretzel. Wow!
As usual, the narrative is brilliant. Thanks!

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSmarie

That's "Jimmy CHOO" to you! XD

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

Maybe if I knew what the real bags are supposed to look like, this post would be funnier to me.

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

The second one is not bad considering.... but OMG the last two are horrendous D:

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I agree; the 1st 2 aren't so bad. But that shoe..oh my goodness!!

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLyonStill

maybe I just need new glasses but what's wrong with the second one?

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentergothchiq

....AND Teresa officially wins the "Captain Obvious is Oblivious" award today.

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I believe the intent is to show the de-evolution in reference to the amount discounted in the captions :)

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterima e

Shows what I know about fashion - I thought the draw bridge needed help getting back up in the last photo.

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterYvete

And why is the "Donny and Bork" sitting on a pile of lunch meat? Just better and better! LOL!

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

As I was checking my Pathetek Philippe watch, I realized that John knows all the top back alley and car trunk brands!

Let them eat purse.

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteral the k

The first one isn't so bad. It's kind of an ugly pattern, but at least you can tell it's a purse!
I would hate to see whatever is inside that black and white "Donny and Bork" bag. It looks as though someone stabbed it with a bunch of knitting needles and the poor thing is bleeding all over the cake stand.
Finally, that plastic-y yellow and orange one looks like a clown with no eyes. Creepy!

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Hrmm the first two I thought were actually pretty decent, I'd pay money for those, but then they moved on from there yikes.....

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

That third one, the Donny & Bork, looks like it's sitting on cow entrails. Just sayin' ;)

October 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

i was reading somewhere that the fake shoe industry (i guess that's the right word) is worth $12 Billion. fake purses only worth $70 Million.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

One bag has a serious case of leeches lol. As for that shoe cake I would have to wonder if they have ever seen heels before.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

And BADKarma wins the "I know everything so don't bother saying different!" award!

IS there a right side on your bed, Miss Congeniality???

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

I believe BADKarma was referring to the fact that Teresa did not seem to get the very clever pun in its post. Please, let us not let unpleasantness break out on the CakeWrecks forum.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

I'm with you, Allison. When a flooded street becomes a political argument, i's time to have ONE place to take shelter and just laugh. A little snark is essential but being mean? Why? IT'S CAKE, people, just really awful messed up cakes (except on Sundays)

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSmarie

A note to everyone commenting that 'the first two aren't too bad'. I think that is intentional. The point of the story is that the cakes get progressively worse, culminating in the dreadful shoes.

October 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Bork bork you are Donny me a frighten

October 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

The second to last one looks like a crab with an umbilicus (navel).

October 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHowlindawgs

You laugh, but I actually had a customer ask me if we sold "them Donny and Bork bags" one time when I worked at Macy's!

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered Commentertbyrd

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