My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Poor Kelley With Only One Eye

Somehow literal LOLs just never get old.

I mean, how can you NOT imagine this baker's thought process as s/he carefully inscribed, "Kelley with an eye"?

THIS BAKER: "Poor dear, but at least she has ONE eye! ...though it's a little odd for her friends to point that out. Hm. I wonder if they know a Kelly with no eyes, my, wouldn't that be dreadful. Ah well, that's another order done!"


And do you think this baker called the customer, "Mr. Colors"?


But my favorite - my FAVORITE - has to be this one:

Tell me the baker didn't write "Big 15" that tiny on purpose. Even if it was on some deeply subconscious level, somehow, she knew, and she was totally trollin'.



Thanks to Albus D., Giana B. & Jamie M. for not making a big deal out of her "big" 15.


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Reader Comments (30)

Ha ha! The "Big 15" is tiny! Anyone notice? >D

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Good night... "John-Boy?!" (Leaving now, no need to breakout the tomatoes).

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCelia

One more, and I swear I'm gone: I suppose John-boy colors are wall tones?

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCelia

The first one has a simple explanation actually. Albus D, that's PROFESSOR Dumbledore to you kids, ordered the cake for his lady friend Kelly who happens to be a Cyclops.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

Oh Celia!

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSmarie

"Boy-colors"... Is that a French surname? (blinkblink)

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The first cake was made for Kelly, a resident of The Little School for One Ocular Organers. Overshadowed by its more well-known neighbor, Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, this is a boarding school for up to 26 unique children. Founded by Dr. Sy Klops, it serves children with only one eye, and admission is limited to one child whose first name begins with the letter A, one whose name begins with the letter B, and so on. The school’s motto, “Aye, Eye!” shows their emphasis on being positive in all facets of life. Happy Birthday, Kelly!

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmber'

Too bad "Kelly w/ an one eye" didn't have a pirate cake.

I think the BSU decorator had a late night; maybe there was some drinking going on... (it happens).

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterM. E.

That second cake takes me back, watching TV in the 1970s, that family show all about Depression-era cakes, "The Colors" (da da da da da daaaaa, da da da da da daaaaa, da daaaaaaaa)
"Goodnight Ma"
"Goodnight Baby Freestyle"
"Goodnight Pin"
"Goodnight John-Boy"
"I want sprinkles!"

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

"Boy colors" means blue, among others, I guess. Well, they did get that one. I wonder what the other boy colors are.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDolly

I like to think that second baker did that "boy colors" thing on purpose, as a way to fight against the arbitrary gendering of things like colors.

But probably not.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

That first cake. I would have loved to see a big eyeball beneath those lovely roses.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Uh. What the HECK are "boy colors"?? Or John-boy-colors????? Signed, confused

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Oh the baker on the last cake TOTALLY knew what he/she was doing :D ;)

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Ha! I totally heard the commentary for the one-eyed Kelly cake in Molly Weasley's voice as I was reading it.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenter2Cool@School

As a Kelley with an EY, I would just like to say that people are always offering me I's and I don't want them, thanks.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

Perhaps Kelly's friend group has more that one Kelly and the other Kelly has no eyes. Or maybe two. Probably no more than that.

Seriously, I was listening to a radio story this week about a guy was one of only two black kids in his school when he was growing up. The other kid was missing an arm. Everyone referred to him as the black kid with two arms. I suppose that when the other kid got a cake it said "Black Kid With One Arm" in gloppy frosting.

As for John-Boy's cake, what do you expect from a depression era bakery?

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The Kelley cake is the story of my life.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

No, I'm sure Boy-Colors isn't a French surname.

Blue is a boy color.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue

What an idea... colour code our infants so strangers know what their genitals look like!

(that's all that comes to mind whenever I see "boy colours" or "girl colours")

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelC

Not pointed out in the wreck, those aren't even BSU colors! Orange and blue man, orange and blue!

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCharisse

Oh, Celia!!!

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterT

Well, if Kelly/Kelley/Kelli had no eyes, he/she would never be able to see his/her beautiful personalized cake. Or, get offended that said cake clearly spelled out (pun intended) the fact that he/she had no eyes.

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Thank you for posting! I was actually trying to figure out how to spell Kelly with an "i" - I was thinking the cake was for someone named Keilly, Kiley, or Kellie. At least I know I'm not the only one who can't figure out the correct spelling. (On the other hand, I'm also not a cake decorator who thinks "eye" is a letter.)

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMSTeacher3K

Oh, and just FYI (because I love searching for trivial facts): John-Boy colors, which are apparently red, blue, and yellow, are also the colors of the following countries' flags: Andorra, Chad, Moldova, and Romania. So, maybe that Wreckarator was just a geography buff, or a vexillophile (flag enthusiast--again, love that trivia!)

October 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMSTeacher3K

I think Kelly's eye ended up on John-Boy's cake.

October 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Lol would love to know what john boy colors are exactly? Did he come with his own color scheme on the Waltons? Lol this is hilarious.

October 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Head, meet desk. Desk, head.

October 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

.... if that's the bsu late night I think it is it's doubly a wreck because the actual name of the event is 'Late Nite', or all my college commemorative tees are spelled wrong

October 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPock

by Lillian E. Curtis

"Oh! she was a lovely girl,
So pretty and so fair,
With gentle, lovelit eyes,
And Wavy, dark-brown hair.

I loved the gentle girl,
But oh! I heaved a sigh,
When first she told me she could see
Out of only one eye.

But soon I though within myself,
I’d better save my tear and sigh.
To bestow upon some I know,
Who has more than one eye.

She is brave and intelligent,
Too she is witty and wise,
She’ll accomplish more now, than many
Who have two eyes.

Ah! you need not pity her,
She needs not your tear and sigh,
She makes good use, I tell you,
Of her one remaining eye.

In the home where we are hastening
In our eternal Home on High,
See that you be not rivaled,
By the girl with only one eye."

I think this demonstrates the same spirit in which the title wreck was wrecked.
(BTY, THE WORLD'S WORST POETRY by Stephen Robins is a truly marvelous volume of verse to own.)

November 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda C. K.

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