Wreck Encounters of the Worst Kind
December 2, 2014 Have you experienced a Wreck Encounter with an Unexplainable Sweet Object (USO)? Watch for these signs!
Wreck Encounter of the First Kind: Visual sighting less than 50 feet away that shows considerable -- albeit completely useless -- detail.
;)
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wreck Encounter of the Second Kind: A physiological effect is manifested, such as confusion or discomfort in the viewer.
;)
*hurk*
Wreck Encounter of the Third Kind: An animated creature is present. These include bipeds,
;)
um... [head tilt]... robots?
;)
and whatever these are:
;)
On the plus side, they don't seem able to breathe our atmosphere.
Wreck Encounter of the Fourth Kind: Direct communication between wrecks and humans.
;)
Shhhh! Don't distract me... I can -- almost -- make it out...
Wreck Encounter of the Fifth Kind: Death associated with an Unexplainable Sweet Object.
;)
Poor Mickey. It was a real blood bath.
(We experts call this "wrecksanguination.")
Wreck Encounter of the Sixth Kind: The creation of a human/USO hybrid.
;)
THE POD PEOPLE ARE COMING.
If you've had a Wreck Encounter with a USO, send Cake Wrecks photographic evidence right away!
(Just don't get caught taking the pictures...)
We WANT to Believe!!!
Out of this world thanks to Anabel J., Cat, Anony M., Mark H., Nate W., Bridget A., & Robert A. for helping prove wrecks are out there. (Um, wait a minute, guys... That's NOT one of the accepted hand gestures...)
*****
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Reader Comments (60)
Turtadillo? Armadutle? Whatever it is, I think it's incubating a Facehugger.
Pic #1 looks like a roadkill armadillo. It appears to be a very bad replica of the armadillo groom's cake from the movie "Steel Magnolias"
Cake # 1 is there to remind us that there's nothing like a good piece of ass...
I think the first one is a hybrid sea turtle/armadillo.
The first wreck seems to be an armadillo that has been run over. Why anyone would want a cake like that I can't imagine.
I'm betting that first one was for a fan of Steel Magnolias. I think that's supposed to be an armadillo and I bet the inside is red velvet cake.
Dear God, what is that first thing? Is that a tail? An escaped earthworm? The world may never know.
CAAAAAAAKES from SPAAAAAAACE! They're definitely from the Outer Limits. I guess the bakers were in their own Twilight Zones when they made these things. They certainly need to be consigned to the X Files.
1. An armadillo
2. A palm tree with coconuts (looking from the top down).
3. A purple minion, of course! When they go crazy in DM 2
The last one scares me the most. It looks like one of those baby butts on top and . . . perhaps sushi on the bottom?! I think the Dept. of Homeland Security should be warned, at the very least.
#1 looks like a tortoise or turtle of some kind.... 3# looks like the evil minions, only badly done. As for that last cake D:
Caitlin's birthday cake (#6) is well done. It was simply photographed upside down. These are aliens, after all. Their bodies are not like our own. You are mistaking their angry scowls and skinny little legs for adorable fuzzy smiling faces and antennae simply because you're looking at them from the wrong angle. I hope this information will be of help when the angry aliens finally land.
You're welcome.
The first one might be a hot water bottle wearing armadillo skin .
Second - I don't know .
Last - I'd rather NOT know , thanks .
I'll be honest, some of those little aliens were kind of cute. I would even buy a t-shirt with the little purple guy on it.
I thought the first one is some sort of beached ray. (I mean the fish, not the drop of golden sun.) I wouldn't call you guys experts -- I'd call you wrecksperts! (You've probably used that one already, haven't you?)
I'm pretty sure the first one is the good ole Montauk Monster.
Turkey leg wrapped in bacon...armadillo with....giant olives/plums....nope, I got nothing other than an irresistible urge to go sculpt some mashed potatoes while I nurse the strange burns on one side of my face...
I think the first one is an armadillo, however, it looks like a dead pigeon with a rat's tail. It's a prat. :p
#3 Reminds me more of Plankton (Sheldon) from Spongebob!
I'm pretty positive that #4 is -supposed to be- Angry Birds in Space. Supposed to be.
I'm gonna need about a dozen of those little green guys.
I think the last one must have been the pregnant ladies favorite skirt or dress?
It kind of looks like one of those jello molds that they made in the 70s/80s...
The little green cakes are Swedish Groda cakes (groda is frog). They are very popular in Sweden and I got my husband one for his birthday back in 2011 when we were in Stockholm. We thought they were funny too :)
@SuBee Caitlin's cake had the writing and the images in opposite directions. It was photographed from the correct perspective to see the creature faces, but then the writing was upside down. Not terribly wrecky, but I think it still qualifies.
The fifth one looks like the famous Wegman's Frog Cupcake. Famous if you live in western New York, that is.
The second one, upon tilting my head to the left approximately 30•, appears to be a cat with its mouth open and a green stripe running up its forehead...
So, what's with the olives on wreck number 2?
It feels good to know that we're not alone! Misery: meet Company. I know you two will hit it off.
I don't know what those domed green aliens are supposed to be, but I want a whole GAGGLE of them for my next birthday! They're AWESOME!
Is that suppose to be arm flab on the little blue creature?
@CaySedai:
Lol, I think SuBee knows that. ;)
#1 sting ray - or a pile of them, given how high it is
#2 ship's propeller
dead ducks on a cake *bleurgh* thanks for helping me stay on my diet.
The first one is either a top or the roadkill armadillo... but I can't shake how much it looks like it has a tapeworm. *shudders*
The first one is an armadillo crossed with a bellows (the thing you use to blow air into a fire or forge)
All I can say is--What the...? There are no words for most of these atrocities, especially that last cake! I hope they at least tasted good if the people who ordered them could bring themselves to eat them. That first one looks like a microscopic fungal spore...or it could be a squashed armadillo expelling a tapworm. Either way, I wouldn't want to eat it! The little domed frogs are cute--they remind me of snow globes for some reason.
My kids said right off, "it's road kill."
I think Connor's first bd cake decorations are cute. I think kids made them at the party, as an edible craft!
Another possibility for the frogs is that they're from Australia!
Apparently,, there are select areas of the world where they canNOT get enough cake-based frog treats.
The Grodas (thanks, Amber) are adorable. I want a whole brace of them. Preferably, each should be piloting his/her very own frosting carrot...
The rest kind of appeals to my sense of Surrealism, except Mickey™ of the Size 95ZZZZ feet. I've spent entire days standing on concrete floors at certain jobsites and felt just like that by sundown. It's no laughing matter. :/
1. Dead Armadillo
2. Gamesters of Triskelion
3. Swiss Army Grape
4. Worst or best game of Robo Rally evar
I love everything about today's wrecks and comments. Cake Wrecks makes my day.
#3 looks like the slugs from the kids movie "Flushed Away". I love them
The first reminds me of the creepy lifeforms in Dali paintings. I can see why people think it's an armadillo from the texture, but I can't find a head or legs.
@ Crystal Rose- as a frequent hostess and party goer of gatherings during the 80s...I assure you that the jello molds of which you are referring were all LOST during the 1980s, those were strictly 70s and earlier, I do believe that some were found in the 90s and then we were subjected to the jello molds of doom again. We were much too haughty in the 80s (EVERYONE was a republican then...Reagan was president!) to have used an "old fashioned" thing like a jello mold... (we would have been mortified!!) LOL. There may have been use in other parts of the country, but in California it was definitely not "totally rad" at all.
That being said, the second USO...I just...I can't even...uhm...<shudder> and Mickey...oh Mickey...so much blood, when is the Stephen King novel/ movie starring Mickey Mouse coming out? I want to know so that I can go hide in my nuclear holocaust concrete bunker for at least 6 months when it does so I can avoid anything to do with it...I'm going to be watching Warner Brothers for the rest of my life...no MORE Disney...too. much. blood....<curling up in a corner and rocking>
The cake is a lie. Oh, and watch out for headcrabs, which #1 clearly is!
#1: An armadillo with an escaping tapeworm??!
#4: Looks like Connor made his own cake decorations - in which case, what a precocious li'l guy!
#5: The grodas (sp?) are adorable
#s 2, 7, & 8: ((( shudder )))
So pic #5 are (supposed to be) Frogs...the only reason why I even know it is because afriend has been eating these since her childhood as a Hungarian kid in Romania - so they've been oddly presented this way fo4at least 50 years. ...you'd think they'd know what afrog looks like by now, LOL. Crazy!
First kind - What do you get when you cross an armadillo, a water flask, and the world's ugliest purse? I don't know either, but this baker thought he did!
Second kind - Are those feathers?? Far out, man.
Third kind - Purple peanut posing with petroglyphs.
Fourth kind - Green submarine, splayed-out yellow elephant, something blue that saying "Rawr!", and a scared red bunny. (Silly rabbit, wrecks are for kids!)
The frog-pods, however, are weirdly adorable, as are the upside-down anti-gravity monsters. =-)
Fifth - Ack, I was happier before I realized his head is separated from his body. ("Wrecksanguination", though, deserves a slow clap! =-)
Sixth - Ulp!
Those little frog cakes are the yummiest cakes ever and the design has been around since the last millenium. The icing though is super thin and reallllly fragile, so I'm OK about seeing them in their own little amphibariums. I just wished they'd thought to include air-holes though. I'm really worried they won't be able to breathe!
The first one is a giant rotting strawberry with a dirty bandage.
#4 are aliens made out of marshmallows.