I'll Just Have The Salad, Thanks.
August 15, 2011 Never before has a delicious food made to look like another delicious food made me want to LOSE my food quite...like... this:
;)
To be fair, this is exactly what pizza looks like - if you make it with old Cheez Whiz, moldy beet slices, algae, and blueberries. (AKA the "Nothing beets berry cheesy seaweed!" special.)
I was about to ask why someone would make a cake that looks like cherry pie...
;)
...but then I realized no one did.
[OH! SNAP!]
[What do you mean, "no one says that anymore?" I just heard some hep cat on the YouTubes saying it last week! Stop crammin' my jive, H-dub.]
[I do SO know what I'm saying, John. You're just jelly of my lyrical songifications, mug-buzz.]
Not entirely sure what's happening here, but I'll tell you this:
;)
That's fowl.
"See, just imagine the caramel sauce as glistening rivulets of semi-congealed grease, and the green stuff as... Hey! Where are you going?"
And finally, put down that coffee, and allow me to introduce you to...
;)
Cockroach Steak: the other other white meat.
All hail Greg, Emily H., Lindsay I., and Erica R., slayers of appetites!
Reader Comments (72)
Oh come ON! If you can't make a cake look like a cake, then why on (Spaceship) Earth would you attempt something like this?!?!?!?
Revolting.
So glad I was never That fond of T-bone steak, because I will never look at one the same again. This post is truly a "diet aid" today! Too bad I came here Before breakfast!!
My list of things I never want to see as cake grows... Meat and Body parts... or are they the same?
Alas. No breakfast for me now. -hurk!
O.o
Ewewwewweweweww. The cockroach steak! That's the first thing I though
t!!!!!!
OH SNAP! I think the 3rd cake is missing stirrups....hmmmmm
The steak kind of looks like a nasty tongue. *shudder*
FYI snap doesn't mean the same thing anymore. My nephews' group (early 20's) uses it in place of the other not so nice s word.
Much to my dismay, I've never been able to pull off, "Oh, snap!"
(Changing the subject? Maybe...)
Yikes! These are scary! I should not have read before breakfast!
- Amazing Marshmallows Author
www.amazingmarshmallows.blogspot.com
Ugh,why make a cake that makes you want to hurl??? O_o
Is that the return of the Baskin Robbins turkey cake?
I think the first cake was the winner in the annual contest sponsored by the bakery organization that was established to promote the lifelike portrayal of food through cakes: the Bakers Association for Realistic Food, or B.A.R.F.
My daughter took one look at the "steak" and said it looked like a tongue. I have to agree. :p
...And here, I thought behbeh was the other other white meat...
Sooner or later, somebody was sure to aim for the "desserts for bulimics" market.
Thank you. My kids are properly grossed out.
Here's a though... Are these made by passive-aggressive bakery employees who have a bet going, as in, I'll bet you five bucks someone buys this piece of crap! - ? Makes me wonder...
Mel, I think I've heard of B.A.R.F. Isn't it the sister organization of People Using Really Gross Examples (P.U.R.G.E.)? Guess I should Google it...
I think the first cake look like that Start Trek delicacy "Deep Dish Horta."
Has anyone EVER made a turkey cake that didn't obliterate appetites for weeks afterward?
(And if so, why?)
If that "fowl" example were labeled as "Giblets Cake," I would totally take their word on it.
When choosing reference photos from which to make other-food-shaped cakes, it is probably best to find a source other than the Gallery of Regrettable Food. Or medical pamphlets about STDs, if the "cherry pie" cake is any indicator. (You scrolled back up to have a second look, and on the way, you passed the "turkey" with the oily brown discharge bubbling up from between its legs. You're welcome.)
I have seen a cupcake that looked like a cherry pie, but it looked yummy, unlike that...thing... They make them in the "What's New, Cupcake" book! (There's a video on Amazon!)
#1 I'm a fan of thick crust, but that's extreme. My first impression, before I saw the round things, was 'scrambled eggs and bacon'. That could work on a pizza -- I'll have to make some calls in a bit.
#2 Zing! Jen's riposte was neat-o. Slip me some skin, brother John! Back on topic, let's see bakers make a pie that looks like a cake. Or not -- pie with frosting would definitely be a diet aid. "I think I'll pass on seconds -- not sweet enough. Got any more Splenda packets?"
#3 That must have been one strange-looking bird. Why does the box say, 'Father's Day'? It is difficult enough to determine why turkey cakes exist without holiday confusion.
#4 Without the divot in the front, it might have been a convincing...attempt at making a cake look like something else. What that would be remains to be determined. Jen's theory leads. Nothing intended for human consumption should be shaped like that.
Sharyn – you are correct! I’m impressed! And, as you probably know, both groups are splinter groups from the association United Professional Cakers Hosting Unusual Cake Kaka (U.P.C.H.U.C.K.), which itself is a more genteel off-shoot of that society of radical icers, I’m Vehemently Opposed to Making Icing Tasteful (I.V.O.M.I.T.)
[What do you mean, "no one says that anymore?" I just heard some hep cat on the YouTubes saying it last week! Stop crammin' my jive, H-dub.]
[emphasis mine]
...I think you just solved a crossword puzzle I've been stuck on for about a week.
Also DEAR GOD the cockroach steak!
Due to the popularity of turkey drumsticks among theme park aficianados, scientists have been working to develop a turkey consisting of legs alone. The "turkey" cake is simply a representation of these miraculous gifts of genetic engineering. BTW, the real turkeys are just as disgusting.
"Stop crammin my jive!" My new line to use with my kids when they are dancing on my last nerve!
WHEN will the cake bakers of the world accept that attempting to make a t-bone steak in icing will ALWAYS yield a very realistic image of a human uterus with an IUD in it?!
Mel, I should have known you'd be aware of those organizations. Of course, they're ALL under the aegis of the American Division (of) Nutritionally Adventurous Unintelligible Sweets Exuding Unfettered Mayhem (A.D. N.A.U.S.E.U.M.) Insiders suggest you skip the dessert buffet at their meetings.
I beg to differ, JNCL! http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/3857076108/in/set-72157613990178195 and believe me I know the difference between a uterus and a steak.
Hey wait! I made a Cherry Pie Faux Food Cake for a Pie Social. I had just started doing cakes and stubbornly refused to take a pie to the event!
:D It was chocolate covered cherry cake and it was delicious and confusing. And pretty too!!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Martha-The-Cake-Lady/333831494285
One of those cakes was supposed to look like a steak?
@ Naomi: I can't stop laughing! I did indeed scroll back up and the cakes were even more funny disgusting the second time! @ JNCL: OMG, it totally looks like that!!!! HAHAHA
Living with a fisherman, to me that last ... thing ... looks like a Snarfway grilled farm-raised salmon steak with Teriyaki Peach Styling Gel glaze { fish is done when it flakes ... see??} Inspiring! Need recipe for poached trout loaf with mayonnaise icing and radish roses...
That does look like cherry pie! If you burned it and dropped it on the floor a few times.. *nodnod* And the cockroach steak will haunt my dreams and keep me squarely on my diet. Thanks CW!
My son was giving me a hard time about my outdated slang the other day, and told me that I could borrow one of his magazines to learn something new. My response was, "Nifty! 23-skidoo!" He didn't say a word afterward, but I can about imagine his head shaking (we were texting, so I'm not totally out-of-date.)
I miss the wv and the time stamps. The wv for the fun thinking up definitions, and the time stamp so I could somewhat figure out where I'd left off reading the comments so I could read the new ones.
I've got two days of pre-op clear liquids, so this is GREAT! Anytime I think I'm hungry, I'm going to tab back to this page and look at all this explitive deleted all over again.
I TOTALLY say "Oh snap!"...mostly because I work with kids, and it's a safe expression of frustration. ;-P
Ewww...going to pass on the leftover pizza I was thinking of having for dinner tonight.
Also expect that overdone steak to sprout legs, antennae, and run away whenever the kitchen lights come on. ;)
Thank you for the wonderful diet aid! I was famished when I clicked the link, but now I'll be lucky if I can down a voddy and tonic. Next book: Cake Wrecks Appetite Suppressants!
The last one looks like a salmon steak to me.
I'll have a slice of the turkey cake, I always loved caramel icing and never got enough!
My non-traditional grandmother (never learned to cook, loved to go OUT to eat, even on holidays) would ALWAYS bring one of the Baskin Robbins turkey cakes when we had Thanksgiving at home. This cake does NOT remind me of that in a good way. The B-R cakes were more cartoon-y, this one looks a little too real. And NOT in a good way.
Dear God, what is that thing?
(pick one- any of 'em- it works)
John, just tell Jen you don't think those words mean what she thinks she means. :)
Mel & Sharyn- WIN!
Craig, some fathers are considered turkeys. Just sayin'.
Oh dear. That "turkey leg" looks like it is melting over something that was taken from a sewer, and there is only just enough of it peeping out from under neath, but that is just my opinion. And if that is cherry pie, I think I'll stick to brandy snaps.
Wow I couldn't tell that the first picture was pizza....not that I'd dig in by any means...
And a very nice Senor Cardgage impression. I also miss homestarrunner *sniff!*
Okay, this has nothing to do with today's post, but as a fellow Star Trek geek, you guys have to check out the proposal at Chicago Comic Con with Patrick Stewart. Please don't post this to the comments, this was just an FYI in case you missed it. Here is the link: http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/plugged-in/awesome-star-trek-wedding-proposal-warps-across-internet-201329913.html.
Enjoy!
I really WOULD cast my vote for grilled tuna, when it comes to the bottom cake. Still, I'm not quite sure what that strange glaze might be.