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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May282010

This Weekend, Pig Out

Since Monday is Memorial Day, I thought you guys might appreciate a few food tips before your weekend get-togethers kick off.

Tip #1: So long as you have beer and bacon, all of your male friends will be happy.

Which is why I, as a girl, think it would be hilarious if you substituted all the beer and bacon with beer and bacon cakes, like this one. Just think how pleased the guys will be at the surprise!

Tip #2: Know your pig.

Calm down; I mean the animal.

Sometimes I think a vegan named these things. "Haha! I will name THIS one 'jowl butt,' so NO ONE will EVER want to eat it! Mwuhahahahaa!

Now, who wants some niiice fresh asparagus?"

Tip #3: Sometimes it helps to channel your inner Freddie.

Ewwww.

Tip #4: Or, if you're like me and subscribe to the "no guts; too gory" philosophy of food, try the all-inclusive cooking method:

Just don't forget the apple.
I don't know why. Just...don't.

Bonus: When you're done, you'll have a lovely centerpiece!


"I see you eating that jowl butt. And, yeah, I'm totally judging you."


Never mind all that, though, because the important thing to remember here is the glory of bacon.


Apparently it even makes 40 better. Although what that has to do with a mountain range at sunset is beyond me.

Julie B., Kellie B., Jade B., Dorota, Monica I., & Melissa C., notice how I didn't say anything about head cheese? Yep. Some lines you just don't cross.

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Reader Comments (73)

oh that is just so nasty, I had to make my first comment on here!Why would anyone WANT to have a bacon looking pig cake?
shudder
Kathy T

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are all really beautifully-made (except the last one, auuuuugh!), but I'm pretty sure I'd run a mile if any of them were in the same room as me!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

(first comment, heehee)

Hilarious and disturbing all at once. but, you kinda have 2 "tip #3"'s

wv: rucked - uh-nuther way of talkin' 'bout these cakes

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave

actually,
it says:
"Even Makes 40 Beter!"
Ha!HA!HA!
thanks!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

A second dose of Cake Wrecks?!? This is a special day indeed!! My hubby would SO want those bacon cakes!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

I feel compelled to point out that head cheese is actually delicious if it's well-made with quality ingredients. It's pretty common here in south Louisiana.

Also, #2 is really cute!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Whoops! Well, we did establish a long time ago that http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/11/really-i-mean-really-yes-more-turkey.html" rel="nofollow">I can't count. ;)

Thanks for the heads up, though, Dave.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Well...these are almost as gross as the real thing. Gotta applaud them for that, at least.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like pork, but....ew.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPinkPrincessAli

LOVE #1! The plastic wrap and label really "take the cake". AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Ahem. Sorry.

PS: Thanks for getting rid of that really scary header with all the doll bodies. {shudder}

WV: recidui The left-over pieces of frosting after the whole cake as been cut (but not in my world - that's in OTHER people's worlds.)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterleslie

#1 and #2 are kinda cute..and appear to be well made. I think #3 was made for someone who is going to be a butcher or a chef...but is rather odd. #4 & #5 are well made, but CREEEEEEEPY!!! #6...well, it's definitely a wreck!!

But...no I think I'm going to go have a BLT as my hunger has been inspired by the first cake in this post...LOL

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wonder if it's possible to make a bacon flavored cake. That would be a real surprise to the eater.

I admit, I'd definitely try a bite.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

Wow! They really went whole hog!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBippy

Uh. May. Zing. I love all of these. In fact, I want to order a few of them for friends' birthdays. <3

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbevw

It might just be me, but the pork cut diagram was adorable. I'd not only eat it, especially if it turned into a sort of pork meatloaf cake, but I would cut along the lines so everyone gets a proper cut of porkcake.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I would pass on all the cakes except I do really like number 2. I think it's adorable.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKris

That last one looks like bacon that's been in the fridge for a month! Yuck-O!!!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to know why they only cooked HALF of that last pic... I mean, do need raw bacon for some things, and cooked bacon for others... but I am totally unaware of any recipe that calls for "slab o' bacon, cooked on one side"!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlexDreamz

I have friends who absolutely love bacon and they're aware of this site. I don't know if they're going to laugh at the wrecks, or scream in horror at this bacon blasphemy.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

OMG! That first 'pig roast' cake looks like a brown Dumbo!!!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Mar

Thank you. Much better than the cows..hahaha.suuuuueeeeet.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

I love it! Even when I'm going through a rough patch you still manage to make me laugh.:)

I like 'em all! (well, except for that last one of course)
But this just ruined my thoughts of bacon and eggs for breakfast.
Just sayin'.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTatersmama

Gotta love me some bacon!!! Yum!

The pig head center piece is awesome lol :) It reminds me of a pig roast that we had at the Cerebral Palsy Camp I worked at a few years ago. I set up a "Kiss the Pig" contest to raise money for the camp. Six of the staff members were nominated to participate and the kids & parents donated money to the person that they wanted to kiss the pig. It came down to a girl and a guy...The guy could care less about it but the girl really didn't want to do it so she was putting $20s in the guys jar! But the parents thought it was hilarious so they made sure she "won" :)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlysa

"bacon makes even 40 better" is my new life-motto. I love cake-wrecks!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersweetbiscuit

As for number three....I'm wondering, good luck with what exactly?

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGaliandy3941

Ha. I made the 3rd one for a retiring meat cutter. It was great because the whole party was full of meat cutters who weren't grossed out by the cake at all. This was also my first attempt at using fondont(for the cutting boards).

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJade B

I actually kind of like the cuts of meat cake. It's pretty cute.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What can I say....... Never been more glad to be a vegetarian!!!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNat

Ahaha the pork slices cake looks like the one from the Good Eats episode on chuck roast. Know your meat!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like the meat-reference-chart one the best.

I'm a little afraid of flavor of the various cakes. Do they make pork frosting?

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

You tried to gross me out but I got hungry bwahahah

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

mmmm. bacon!

gotta check Jim Gaffigan's take on bacon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nT9P8MMpsE

I can hear him sing/whisper "bacon" as i scroll down

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

To whomever asked if bacon flavored cake was possible, why yes, yes it is. I don't know if it's kosher (heh) to post this link, but my friend makes these all the time and they're yummy. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/maple-french-toast-and-bacon-cupcakes-recipe/index.html

I took a class whilst getting my degree in Food Science that I simply called "Meat Class". The second cake is AWESOME...I'm going to email that to my former meat professor. He had a picture of a guy that had that very diagram tattooed on him. So, so awesome.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhalfbakedcake

mmm...bacon.

Today, I was perusing the books at a local craft store and came across a cupcake cake how-to book...GAH! Why?

Yeah, so I did what any Cake Wrecks fan would do and buried it deeeepppp under some bottom shelf dusty books. Stopping the spread of "the CCC sickness" one cupcake (book) at a time.

WV: reepio- Seeth reepio wasth the beth spath wobot eva!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobot Pop

#2 reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ59OJegy94 (Two minutes in.)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterUlrike

I love the "Boar's Head" cake! It's perfect for a medieval Christmas celebration. I would love to see that carried in at the head of a grand procession. It's totally not a wreck.

The boar's head in hand bear I
Bedeck'd with bays and rosemary.
I pray you, my masters, be merry
Quot estis in convivio.

Caput apri defero
Reddens laudes Domino.

The boar's head, as I understand
Is the rarest dish in all this land
Which thus bedeck'd with a gay garland
Let us servire cantico.

Caput apri defero
Reddens laudes Domino

Barb

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous
May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCait

Ewww that third cake makes me never want to eat meat again... but fear not I will eat meat.. I just won't shop at that bakery lol. That first cake though wow looks pretty good to me anyways.

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

OMG what does memorial day have to do with slashers???

That last bacon is going to cause someone food poisoning, it's only partially cooked.

Alright, Lord of the Flies theme cakes again, I love it!!! Creepy, judging piggies! I like this new trend memorial day/ Lord of the Flies celebration.

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

I enjoyed Memorial Day when I was in America in 2000. The pig images are just so wrong I said EEEEEEEEEWWWW really loud haha ...

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSage

I'm actually kind of in awe at the first one...kudos to the baker for taking a weird request and creating a very well-done cake of it! (Subject is wrecky, but the cake is awesome)

2nd one is cute. AND well done.

3 makes sense (well...sort of ) now that we have the explanation from the creator...a retirement cake for a butcher...ummm, okay. Another well-done cake for a really bizarre request.

4 and 5? ORLY?

That last one, though...yeesh.

WV: Evibley. Evibley, some of these cakes are "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear".

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow these cakes would confuse my senses.

The last 2 cakes of a roasted pig reminds me of mooncakes in shape of a pig! They come around the Autumn Festival (Chinese culture)--really cute and yummy (haha but filled with red bean or lotus paste, etc)! They also come fish shaped.

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

...Would these bacon-things help if you want to make something bacon flavoured?

http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=bacon&x=0&y=0

BrrShudderTwitch!

Mosir: I mosir do regret knowing about the bacon-flavouring stuff, mosir-tainly!

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFelis

Hi, just wanted to share that the pig cake with an apple at the mouth would probably be an immitation of a dish/delicacy from the Philippines wherein they roast a whole pig and then serve it with an apple at the mouth when put on the food table. :)

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersuper08

are a stake through the heart and a heart of steak connected? just wondering...

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

those wicked little vegans....

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

a mountain range at sunset! LOL
(it does look like a nice watercolor from an amateur)

never mind, "where's the beef?" (as in the commercial, I know it's pork!)

the question is, "where's the fat?"

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love #2! It's cute :) would be perfect for a butcher. Or for someone from a pork loving background. In some cultures (ex. Italy) they eat EVERY PART of the the pig. They really do provide a lot of food!

I really love a good pig roast. However, I don't think I'd want a cake of that. confusing to the senses.

You just reminded me--I'm taking my kids to a farm today to help weigh pigs. And yes, they are quickly growing piglets. There's a pig map on the wall similar to this one! (with a lot more detail)

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

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