Wreck and Roll
December 1, 2010 Ever thought it was IMPOSSIBLE to have all of your favorite 80s hits in one place? That there was simply NO WAY to hear all of the hottest artists together in one jam-packed jam session? That you could ever only enjoy that much music in some magical world, where thousands of songs could easily fit on a lightweight portable device? Well, you're right. (That would be CRAZY.) So until then, we're offering you the musical deal of a lifetime!!
That's right, with the "Wreckin' Rock Power Mix," you'll never miss a beat. This colossal power-collection comes delivered to your doorstep in 6 dominating power-boxes of 23 LPs or 39 power cassette tapes. That's 846 power-hits!
We'll include the tastiest of licks, like:
"I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! And I bet it tastes good! HeH! Alright now!"
"We are strong! No one can tell us pink's wrong!"
"Ooh, what a feeling! When you're dancing on the... seriously, did you notice that this cake was written on upside-down? Really... look at it again."
"Lost in the bakery, too pink to hide. I'll cause a toothache right when you take a bite.Do do dooo do do doo do do doo do do doo do dooo dooooooo."
"She blinded me with science (SCIENCE!) and failed me in the bakery."
"Sometimes I feel I've got to uhn uhn run away. I've got to uhn uhn get away from all the cupcake cakes you sell to me..."
"Crack that whip!"
...and more! You'll never find a more rocktastic compilation of all of the best artists from yesterday and beyond. And if you call now, we'll also include a FREE bonus 8-track cassette of all of the best songs from the 70s! These songs will blast your earholes into another sound dimension!!
"Lean on me... when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. I'll help you caaarry severaltiersofcakeandfrosting. Andpossiblysomeprincessflotsam!"
"I'll stop the world and melt this food. You've seen the Cake Wrecks, and they're getting better all the time."
"I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzy had so much... DEAR GOD, what IS that thing!?? AAAAAAAgggGHGHH! EEeeeAAAAGHHH!!"
Other artists include Emily W., Cassandra B., and Becky W. in the hot 80s trio "The Wreckinettes." Bonus tracks by Susan A., Megan P., Sarah A., and Annie H. from the popular ballad band "Susan and The Wreckies." And of course, no compilation album would be complete without the greatest hits of top rocker hair band, "Possum Wreck Slashers," with vocal styling from Jessica E., Amanda H., and Rachel C. Rock on!!
Reader Comments (94)
Have I just been looking at too many wrecks so that I see goofs that aren't there - or is "birthday" spelled wrong on that first cake too?? "Brithday"?? - looks like that to me.
Those cakes are as nightmarish as 80's fashions were/are.
This was awesome.
I love that whoever arranged the penultimate cake put a very pointed "This is supposed to say..." notice above it :)
WV: carav. Wrecks are to baking what caravs are to driving.
Great post! Perfect captions and truly dreadful/baffling cakes. Excellent work to start off what is sure to be a wrecktastic month!
Have a lovely day, and thanks for bringing a daily smile to so many.
--kate
I love that the melted cake comes with its own decoder! LOL
Okay, I'm going to be picky for once. Why is the "Get Physical" cake saying "Crack that whip?" Wouldn't it make more sense to call the cake "Whip it?" Let's give Devo some love here! :)
Being a child of the 80's, basically, I LOVED this post. The lyrics and song choices were great!
Is it showing my age that I know ALL those songs?
And the third one...she's a light-footed construction worker helping put up the high beam....with flair!
Sharon's Edible Art
K-tel those babies! Really bad commercials to go along with those cakes!
Something tells me Number 1 may know a little too much about 80s pop songs. ;-}
Wow, 80s rock plus CCCs FTW!
Incidentally, "I'll Melt With You" was released in 1982 [Epcot].
Hahahaha. I sorta like the "Tainted Love" cake, even though it's a CCC. There have been worse!
I don't think the "Let's get physical" cake is technically a wreck - I mean, it's very well done and everything is spelled correctly, it's just really funny! I wonder if Shelley is the instructor or the poor hapless girl being whipped into shape?
Poor poor melty cake - I'll bet you still tasted good. Or not.
And the amount of frosting on that crocodile cake made my teeth feel like his!
You guys are the MASTERS of pop culture references from all media.
LOL
Keep up the good work.
This post just cries out for an audio/video accompaniment...please??
Normie
Awesome post. Great way to tie random wreckiness...
yep, K-Tel.. I remember..lol.
Thank you for a great start to Dec.
Awesome to the max! [/futurama]
I've been on a bit of an 80s kick lately - just re-watched "Back to the Future" in honor of its 25th anniversary, and wow did that movie hold up well.
I loved the way they tried to correct the "Dady" misspelling on the Sunshine cake by underlining "Dad" - pay no attention to that y hanging out without a partner...
Am I the only one who thinks the crocodile is kinda cute?
Yeah. Thought so.
This theme is all kinds of AWESOME!
Hm. The skull on the "Tainted Love" cake looks a bit like the Combichrist logo. But that can't be, because it would make the cake not-eighties.
(And I won't mention any Combichrist song titles, because this is supposed to be family-friendly.)
Happy... Bvithday?
Happy... Buthday?
If you don't know how to spell it, use the art of distraction, I guess.
Oh, Number #1 where is the audio of you signing this???
Otherwise a hysterical post!
cc
Happy Brithday, Dady!
Between this post and yesterday's you are officially the wittiest blogger ever.
I love the blinded by science cake!!
Thanks to all the wreckies who entered my free fudge drawing. It isn't too late if you still want to get in on the action.
(Jen, if you let me know what kind of fudge you like, I will mail you some, just for letting me get the word out to everyone.)
I have a new giveaway today, you can still get more entries for the fudge giveaway, but today only you can also win a button purse, perfect for a little one who likes carrying things.
Check it out at http://juliakoponick.blogspot.com/2010/12/season-of-service.html
Julia
Oh sweet Lord... That Crack the Whip cake is so wrong... Can you feel it now?!
I love the melting cake, too. I want one.
ellemck1
Hey now, give the "run away" CCC some credit! That baker finally learned that cupcakes mushed together cannot possibly make the shape of lips! *Obviously* the best solution is to just shorten the icing to the desired shape :)
As always, the cakes are funny but your writing takes it up to HILARIOUS!
wv: imajik--this cakes are imajik-ally delicious?
This is one fantastic Brithday compilation! Did anyone else think Ryan Stiles, Colin Mockrey, and Wayne Brady when they read this?
I was also going to point out that "I'll Melt with You" is an 80's song, but someone beat me to it. Great wrecks as always!
Does this collection come on 8 Track too!!!
I don't know how you guys come up with so much knee-slapping humor every day, but I sure do appreciate it.
That alligator is truly horrendous! Although it's not too bad a rendition of what yesterday's "horny toad" was supposed to look like.
"I'll stop the world and melt this food...." hahahaha!!!
WV: noroppin. There's noroppin the fact that you nailed this post.
I saw "sloppy birthday" on the gymnast cake. That's a pretty good trick she's got there - ought to win the Olympic Gold with that move!
@Danger Boy - I was right there with you with those voices in my head.
I have totally embarrassed my son by singing along with each of these... while laughing so hysterically I couldn't sing... which made for strange singing.
I find that appropriate in view of these cakes.
My most WT? moment was the balance beam cake. How on earth? Why? So nice. So wrong.
Awesome post!
Son's comments -- "the wolf is drooling" & "that battlefield cake is really good -- if you're thinking 'Destroy All Humans 2' video games"
~~Di
The melty cake ... did it ever have all the names or is that the "after I put it on the front seat of the car and forgot I had the seat warmer on" result.
Yes, audio is required for today's CW. Pretty please????
Hmm... that CCC makes me think more "Your lips are venomous poison"!
Yes Danger Boy, me too. Did anyone else catch the Princess Bride reference in the crocodile wreck comments? I heard "Dear God what is that thing?" in Westley's voice.
I'll Melt with You is from the 80's & yes I'm showing my age here!
great post!!!
Aaah! I've been LOOKING for a ballerina construction worker cake!
I think this one deserves a sing-along video ;)
HA! I started hearing all these songs in my head as I read through these - almost like the muzak in the grocery store!
And I agree with the other comments here - we need another of your great audio/video versions please to accompany this post!
Crack that whip with "Physical?" I expect more from you Jen. Tsk tsk.
All the members of Devo are weeping at being so shunned.
I loved the one with the note explaining what the cake was supposed to say. If only all Wrecks came with one of those...
Truly great job today, CW! I eagerly await the video (pretty please?)!
wv: scroated
Um, I'll leave that one be. ;-)
In defense of the poor spelling on cake one... It can be hard to spell with the sun in your eyes...
In your eyes,
the r's the d's
In your eyes,
it is complete
"I Melt With You" is not a 70's song. It's by Modern English and came out in 82. I should know, I fancy myself a severe addict of synthpop.
"I'll stop the world and melt this food" is a convincing Mondegreen.
The 'dancing on the ceiling' cake is like one of those optical illusions where some see a lamp and some see two faces -- and most immediately see only the other thing once it is pointed out. I saw the upside down gymnast at first, but the girl is clearly demonstrating that new Olympic competition: overhead balance beam.
Though dismounts are incredibly easy, all contestants get 1000 difficulty points right off the bat.
By the way, I'm pretty sure 'I'll Melt With You' was released in 1982.
wv: solart. A contraction of 'solar art', like the first cake features a contraction of 'daddy'.