John's Birthday Suit
November 2, 2010 It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?
Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!
I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.
[eyebrow waggle]
I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.Isn't this called an oxymaroon?
Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.This one also seems a little contradictionary:
"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...
Listen! Do you smell Epcot?And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...
...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.
John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]
John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.
[duckface]
[Barry White music]
Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:
In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.
Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.
Reader Comments (768)
To day is you're birhtday, da na nananananana! I'm shimmying. That's as sexy as it gets.
There's nothing sexier than pasties in the morning. Do you think $2 hookers can afford $1 pasties? Just askin.....
Hey Caaaake Boooooyyyy! (Done in my best sing-songy voice.) Hope you have a smooth-as-silk, luscious, butter-creamy birthday....mmmmmmmmm........buttercream!
Remember it's not what the cake says, it's how it tastes. But then again, HPPY BITHDAY!
Happy Birthday!!
Happy birthday John! *eyebrow waggle*
As a Canadian, I am deeply concerned about these Canadian Nazi carrots being sold by Epcot! Haha. However, as a Canadian, I am required by our politeness laws to never mention it in a disapproving tone of voice.
Happy Brithday with
"Sprinkles" on "Top"
Excellent post as usual. May your birthday cake be non-wrecky and, more importantly, DELICIOUS.
Happy Birthday!!
Happy Falker Satherhood!.....with sprinkles. :)
HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY, John!!
Happy birthday, John!
Happy Birthday!
Hope you get everything you ummm...want.
(I think I can hear Jen's eyes rolling from here!)
Happy Birthday John! ~Abi
I thought they were supposed to be sexy posts..... in which case, notably, the Marilyn Monroe thing to "Mr. President" coincidentally, also a John, has been done. hrmph.
So I'm just gonna say can I win please just so I can donate it to my library where the copy of your book-which I convinced them to buy-has been "lost"....aka someone stole it and now no one else gets to love it. Also hrmph. (for the record, it wasnt' me, I already have my own copy).
Happy Birthday John and a bow-chicka-wow wow to you!
Oh good grief, John. I now have images of exotic dancers wearing British meat pies dancing through my brain.
Happy Birthday!
Q: What are the sexiest animals on the farm?
A: Brown-Chicken-Brown-Cow
(said in 'bow-chicka-bow-wow' type of way)
My farmer friends love this joke :) Happy Birthday John!
John, Jen is a lucky woman. She has a man who loves cake, puns, and power tools. Now that's sexy!
"Hapy" birtday!
In the words of Michael Scott, Happy Bird Day, John!
Happy Birthday John!
Hey, John, if I win a book, will you sign it too? Gotta have the birthday boy's sig, too!
a great date always includes pasties!
Happy Birthday John!!!
I got engaged on Saturday, and am getting married in July. A cake-wrecks book or calendar would give me some great ideas of what not to do for the wedding!
There's got to be some perfectly wrecked day of the dead cakes out there, right?
Oh yeah, and happy birthday. =D
Happy birthday to you,
Squashed tomatos and stew,
Bread and butter in the gutter,
Happy Birthday to you!
A nice British version for you. On the British note, Cornish Pasties are lovely meat filled pastry which the miners used to take down the mines for lunch. They even had a fruit filled end for 'dessert'! I have no idea what Jen's pasties are like but I hope they have the same grab handles that the Brits ones do!!!! ;-)
Anna
Harpy bipday Jim! May all your pasties be chery flavored! Lol
Laura R.
I've got a headache. Happy birthday, funny man!
wv:sivegis- russian for pasties
Happy Birthday!!!
Cease the moment!
Happy Birthday John!
To go international for your birthday, here is my rendition of a French birthday wish Cake Wrecks style (and I'm sorry to my high school French teacher in advance): "Bone Onnyvaresayre John. (in script with sprinkles)" oddly enough, that kinda sounds like it would go well with some birthday pasties! (grrr) ;) Happy Birthday!
Hapy Birday Jon! :)
Happity Burfday John!! Jen is soooo very lucky to have you as a husband she should buy you some pasties for your birthday. I am from michigan and pasties are meat pies. Although if you are not familiar with this and see a sign that reads "king Arthur's Pasties"..It makes you wonder what exactly he is wearing under that robe?????? Have a fun filled day with Jen..I am sure you can think of something to do. ;)
Angie
haha, hilarious....pasties....that's pretty cheap! You should stock up! Happy birthday!!
In the perpetual land of cake wrecks, they were forced to eat Robin's pasties. And there was much rejoicing. Yay!
HapE Burfday!
~Erin Sanders
wv: gatalens - I gatalens it to you, great post today!
Today is my birdthay too!! Happy Birdholq to us!
Hppy Birfday Sexxxaayyy! (Jen, I'm kidding) no....no please...Don't shoot me!! :)
Happy Birthday!
Here's a birthday joke for you!
What's the difference between light and hard?
.
..
...
You can make love with the LIGHT off...
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week... try the fish!
The real trick is getting the pasties to spin in opposite directions...
If you can manage that with the pork ones it's nothing short of hypnotic!
Buying pasties from a bakery....Well, Maybe they'd taste better than those edible underwear!
SEXIEST comment. Oh, and happy birthday to John!
Homina, homina, Happy Birthday, John!!! Hubba hubba!
Oooh, I want to win! Oh yeah, and happy birthday and stuff. :D
*boom-chik-a-wow-wow*
John's eyebrow might get him into trouble one day, waggling like that. My cakes are all a-quiver over here!
Happy Anniversary of Your Natal Day, John, and use that eyebrow waggle with caution!
The laughter that is occurring in my cubicle right now might get me in trouble, but I'll take that risk! Happy Birthday John!
With all due respect to Jen, happy birthday to the sexiest man alive: John. Why is John not on the cover of People since he is the sexiest man alive? Travesty!
OK--that HAS to be the sexiest comment because all of the magazine articles written about how to be sexy emphasize that women need to make men feel as though they are the sexiest man alive. Plus, in the second part of my comment, I stayed with your 3rd person ref, which shows I pay attention.
Please, oh please, let my sexiness win me a signed book. Sincerely, a HUGE (and sexy) fan of Cake Wrecks.
Huge in the figurative sense.
Well, Happy Birthday John. May your pasties always be tasty.
pasties also come in pumpkin flavor! just ask harry potter.
Happy Birthday!
Today is my birthday too!!!