Santa Gets the Shaft
December 24, 2008 We've already seen some flagrant Santa-abuse this year, but here's a Christmas count-down of some more ways the big guy gets no respect.
We start off with your no-frills decapitation (under dome), courtesy of Giovanna B.:
This isn't horrendously wrecky, but it looks exactly like the bleach-bottle Santa crafts my grandmother used to make, so I had to post it. Here, I found a picture of one over on Thrifty Fun for reference:
Next there's the beret-wearing, chin-melting, something-seriously-wrong-with-the-whiskers incarnation:
Huh - I've never seen a handlebar mustache grow all the way around the nose like that, Shelby B. You think it's a French thing?
And speaking of disturbing facial hair, it looks like Mrs. Claus needs to get her hormones checked:
Maybe she's born with it, Darla D. (Maybe it's Maybelline.)
Apparently Deon M.'s local decorator didn't get that new CCC Puzzle pan
Poor Santa. You'll thank him later, dear wreckerator; he's only saving you from yourself in the long run.
Suzanne G., this next little holiday vignette makes me feel a song coming on:
Here goes - y'all feel free to join in, now:
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve,
You may say there's no such thing as Santa,
But once you see this stain you may believe."
"No respect! I get no respect around here! That's a lump of coal for you, Jen! And why the *%&! do I never get a proper nose, anyway? Is it so hard to give me a frickin' little nose?!? Huh? I just - I'm so - I can't even talk to you anymore! Geez. Somebody get me a hot cocoa."
I'd fetch that right away, Alden M.
Reader Comments (61)
LMAO!!! *Tears* @ Mrs Claus and Maybelline! Love it!
"Thank"-you for ALL the Laffs!"
Kilsph - what I wont name my first-born.
OMG those are so funny! I was actually LOL. Thanks for your blog - it is a great read!
regarding the overly blushy santa (maybe she's born with it), my 4 year old and I are sitting here when she says "Hey, it's a Mrs. Claus cake!" ... I guess that only emphasizes what you were saying huh? :)
FYI, I think that the very last Santa might actually be Schmutzli, who is Santa's companion in Switzerland. Schmutzli follows Santa around, and for all the bad kids, Schmutzli will fill their stocking with coal. I am a US citizen currently living in Switzerland, so I caught a picture of Schmutzli (with his donkey - no clue why there is a donkey) at our local Christmas Market here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kwestfield/3125532511/in/set-72157611423438227/
It looks like Michael Jackson posing as Santa Claus... and maybe annoyed that the parents have discovered his new master plan to lure kids onto his lap now that they closed up Neverland Ranch...
I do believe the bleach bottle Santa IS the BBS---the two pics are exactly the same, right down to the arrangement of the strands of yarn.
Holy COW that last one looks frightening. It's as though Santa was possessed, with those narrowed eyes and evil, smug smirk. -flees-
From my boyfriend:
"It's Bonsai Santa!"
XDD
(ref: http://www.ding.net/bonsaikitten/) Ps. dont go all peta on us, Bonsai kitten was a hoax D:
Laughing so hard I almost cried...but don't worry, Santa - it's not you. It's the simple problem that bakers clearly have a hard time decorating cakes to look like cartoons, human beings, pop culuture figures, anything that looks edible, in general, etc. :)
#2 isn't Santa, it's Porky Pig taking a bubble bath.
#3 Maybe Santa just wanted to, you know, "try something a little different"...
#5 is a wreckdition of the animated holiday classic, 'True Confections: Frosting the Snowman Admits Putting Santa on Ice'. Please tell me there is cake under there. Surely that isn't solid frosting...
all that 5th cake needs (the one with the flattened santa)is some reindeer prints
wv: inglum...i'm inglum over the errors on some of these cakes.