Santa Gets the Shaft
December 24, 2008 We've already seen some flagrant Santa-abuse this year, but here's a Christmas count-down of some more ways the big guy gets no respect.
We start off with your no-frills decapitation (under dome), courtesy of Giovanna B.:
This isn't horrendously wrecky, but it looks exactly like the bleach-bottle Santa crafts my grandmother used to make, so I had to post it. Here, I found a picture of one over on Thrifty Fun for reference:
Next there's the beret-wearing, chin-melting, something-seriously-wrong-with-the-whiskers incarnation:
Huh - I've never seen a handlebar mustache grow all the way around the nose like that, Shelby B. You think it's a French thing?
And speaking of disturbing facial hair, it looks like Mrs. Claus needs to get her hormones checked:
Maybe she's born with it, Darla D. (Maybe it's Maybelline.)
Apparently Deon M.'s local decorator didn't get that new CCC Puzzle pan
Poor Santa. You'll thank him later, dear wreckerator; he's only saving you from yourself in the long run.
Suzanne G., this next little holiday vignette makes me feel a song coming on:
Here goes - y'all feel free to join in, now:
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve,
You may say there's no such thing as Santa,
But once you see this stain you may believe."
"No respect! I get no respect around here! That's a lump of coal for you, Jen! And why the *%&! do I never get a proper nose, anyway? Is it so hard to give me a frickin' little nose?!? Huh? I just - I'm so - I can't even talk to you anymore! Geez. Somebody get me a hot cocoa."
I'd fetch that right away, Alden M.
Reader Comments (61)
Is it my imagination or does that first wreck have "monster cake" on the tag? Very telling...
And it looks like that second cake is a cupcake cake too! Oh the horror!
I had gotten away from that song this whole season. Never entered my head. Thanks, Jen! LOL. HAve a Merry Christmas!
Hilarious! Thanks for a great big chuckle to start Christmas Eve.
Just missing the tire tracks...
I thought the first one was a character from Futurama.
W.V. -
presogl: When a peeping tom presses his face against the window.
That last one - looks like a angry Santa. Frightening!
i think in CW5, santa is supposed to be making snow angels. i think it's kinda cute...
Merry Christmas Jen! Thanks for always starting my day off with a laugh! :)
the CCC Santa isn't soooo bad, at least he got a nose?!?
lol, these are great great great as always! Love it!
Jen,
No Christmas gifts will be opened at my house until I've had my morning laugh, so I hope you plan on posting early tomorrow. My family thanks you!
Oh my - that first Santa's been hittin' the 'nog hard and heavy for YEARS...
The third one from the bottom needs tire tracks going over it to complete the road kill santa effect.
The first one looks like the head in a jar from the movie Silence of the Lambs! Love this site - always makes me laugh in the am!! Thanks!
These are SO funny! The "Santa got run over by a Snowplow" one made me laugh out loud, as well as the "Angry Santa" cookie telling you you're going to get a lump of coal!
(I'm gonna get in trouble laughing at these so much at work.)
is it bad that i actually kind of LIKE the last one? i would totally buy that. angry!santa rocks.
I like how the tree is growing straight out to the side on the Santa got run over wreck... the plow wasn't happy with just taking Santa down, had to get that tree too!!
I swear, that one looks like Santa is on a luge.
Oh, this is very merry! But it makes me wonder about the potential trauma of bringing in these treats for young children. "OK, who wants a piece of Santa?"
Sounds like another one of those wrecktacular holiday movies that shouldn't be made.
Merry Wreckmas, Jen!
Jen, I'm still waiting to hear your comments about why the majority of the Santas have major sunburn. Do you think it's a thinly veiled public message on the perils of skin cancer? Inquiring minds want to know...
The Santa in the snow obviously fell off that Norelco electric razor he's been riding for 110 years.
Merry Christmas to all and to these cakes ... GOOD NIGHT!
Word verifcation: eentrevm. Um, yeah.
"So, Clarice, what did you find in the storage shed? SANTA's head in a jar!? Hmmm, that can't be right..."
This is the best blog EVER! I love checking in daily just to see what you have to say. WV= realpho (as opposed to fakepho)
The last one is VERY scary!
Okay, I'm surprised no one else said it, that second one looks like a santa pig! Seriously looks like a pig with a santa hat, mustache and a white sluffly dress. That doesn't even look like a beard!
the second one looks like those pig people things from dr who...........
I'm still calculating how many metric tons of icing were used on the snowplow crimescene.
Mmmmm....is for murder!
Ha, those are awesome. Love your site!
~C
"Maybe she's born with it - maybe it's maybelline!"
I spit my coffee out on that one!!! LMAO!!!
I believe Santa is being mugged in #5. "Stick-em up Fat Man."
I am guilty of selling a lot of those Roshco CCC molds to young mothers and also grandmothers. I am so ashamed.
Haha Santa still looks a little contagious today. Hilarious.
I just showed my 5 year old daughter the last cake and she said "why's he so mad" and then she said "I think he looks like the Grinch".
Oh my, that one santa is the color of pepto bismol. Looks like he has high blood pressure!
Bring me the head of Santa on a plate...
Haha, great cakes. The 3rd one is the most disturbing, it looks like Michael Jackson in a Santa suit.
I think that "Dead Santa in the Middle of the Road" is really doing a body surf down the icing hill.
o<\\\\\\\\];^) Jan the Gryphon
http:/gryph-wotd.blogspot.com/
wv: humiats - feeling another song coming on
My favorite part of the snow-plowed Santa scene? The tree sticking straight out the side of the icing hill. What was the decorator thinking (smoking) when he/she did that?
Thank you so much Jen for your blog! I never laugh so much as I do when I'm reading your comments on all these cake wrecks. Thank for making our Christmas a LOL one :)
Is Santa really a pig?
When my three year old daughter saw that last santa wreck her response was "Oh my!". Santa sure is angry there isn't he?
#3 reminded me of that B.C. comic trip where the blonde lady says, "I did wax my eyelashes a tad heavy."
Never mind the melting chin, that one looked like ALL the icing was about to start drip-dripping off!
The second one looks like Kirby standing on top of a cloud while wearing a Santa hat. I still can't explain the mustache, though
Those are so bad but I hope they are all from supermarket bakeries and not a professional bakery. What do we expect for cheapo, grab the grocery clerk and make them a decorator, cakes?
ROFLMAO!
OH MY FREAKING GOD! That first cake is identical to one I saw today at a local grocery store's bakery dept. Even down to the squashed hat in the plastic dome.
I kinda thot of it as Santa's Disembodied Head. LOL
I so wanted to take a pic of it but there were a ton of people around and I didnt want strange looks..LOL
There was a pretty scary looking black/dark green christmas tree one with purple and dark blue ornament dots. Darn I knew I should broke out the camera. LOL
The last Santa reminds me of the robot Santa Claus on Futurama who thinks everyone is bad and goes around killing people on Christmas.
I prefer my Santa's on the jolly side, thank you very much!
www.goinggreenaccidently.blogspot.com
That last Santa looks like he's got some Jiffy Pop stuffed inside his hat. Ouch. No wonder he's angry.
Thank you for the smiles, gasps and giggles. I am up at 3am trying to thaw the frozen turkey. Ha. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year of Cake Wrecks!!! Wreck on!
Scary. Just plain scary.
Perhaps the decorators had a little too much Captain in their Eggnog? Yikes.
And the Crime Scene Santas? Where's the chalk lines?
~Amy B